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홍차넷
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티타임
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- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
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전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
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| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 18/12/16 09:28:47 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | The xian |
| Subject | 스물 다섯 살까지 저는 한나라당의 지지자였습니다 (3) |
|
(2)에서 계속됩니다. 광주민주화운동. 즉 5.18 민주화운동에 대해 가지고 있던 제 기억이 매우 심각하게 왜곡된 것을 알게 된 이후 그 기억은 저를 계속 괴롭게 만드는 일이 됩니다. '계속'이라 한 것은, 지금도 저는 그 때 일을 생각하면 몸서리쳐질 때가 있기 때문입니다. 물론 제가 어느 극우인사처럼 지금도 5.18 북한개입설을 주장하고 있는 것도 아니고 어느 국정농단 부역자 세력처럼 5.18에 대한 모욕을 지금도 하는 것은 아닐지 모르지만 제 어린 시절 들었던 칭찬. 바른 아이로 자라줬다는 격려. 그런 것들 중 상당한 부분이 잘못된 사실에 의한 잘못된 행동으로 이루어진 것은 자기혐오까지 들게 만드는 일이었습니다. 하지만 그렇다고 해서 제가 그 이후 시위나 학생회의 행사에 적극적으로 참여하는 등 행동을 180도 바꿨느냐 하면. 그렇지는 않았습니다. 제 정치성향의 변화는 시작조차 되지 않은 때였습니다. 당시 저는 95년 말 막 이름을 바꾼 신한국당을 여전히 지지했고 여전히 말 안 듣는 야당이나 공산주의에 대한 적개심은 높았습니다. 다만 운동권 동기나 선배들의 소리를 적극적으로 회피하는 스탠스에서 소극적으로 회피하는 스탠스로 변했고, 대자보 같은 것에다가 헛짓거리를 하는 일을 잘 하지 않는 쪽으로 갔을 뿐입니다. 그 전의 행동이 '적극적인 반대' 였다면 1996년으로 해가 바뀌면서 저는 소극적인 반대 및 '물타기'를 하는 축으로 바뀌었습니다. 요즘 세월호나 이명박근혜 정부의 국정농단 이야기 나올 때마다 자기가 세상의 중심을 잡고 있다고 믿는 얼치기들이 5.18 독립유공자 어쩌구 북한개입설 저쩌구 하는 거짓과 속임수로 물타기를 하는 것처럼, 그 당시에는 6월 항쟁 당시 박종철씨 고문치사 사건이나 이한열씨 등의 민주화 운동 과정에서의 희생 이야기가 나오면 저는 89년 동의대 사태 이야기를 들먹이며 학생이 죽으면 열사고 전경이 죽으면 개죽음이냐는 식으로 응수했던 축에 속했습니다. 뭐. 지금 와서 생각해 보면 이것 역시 대단히 창피한 일입니다. 어쨌든 연초부터 김광석씨의 죽음과 서태지와 아이들의 해체를 맞이하고, 중반에는 무함마드 깐수, 아니, 정수일 교수님의 간첩사건을 목격한 1996년. 제가 대학생 신분으로 겪은 학생 시위가 최고조에 달하던 해가 찾아옵니다. 해가 바뀌었지만 저는 여전히 '물타기'를 하는 축에 속했습니다. 다만 입학 초반보다 그런 빈도는 확연히 줄었던 것으로 기억합니다. 표면적으로는 학점을 관리하고 학과 수업을 듣는 일만으로도 벅찼고 제 속내는 광주에 대해 제가 알고 있던 잘못된 사실이 하나하나 깨져나갈 때마다 생기는 갈등을 수습하는 데에도 벅찼기 때문이겠지요. 1996년 여름. 제가 다니는 학교는 아니지만 연세대에서는 제7차 범민족대회가 열리면서 그야말로 난장판이 벌어집니다. 제가 다니던 학교에서도 여름방학인데도 불구하고 연일 시위가 벌어집니다. 하지만 시위에 대한 분위기는 그 시기를 기점으로 싸늘해집니다. 연세대학교 학내 기자재나 건물 등이 참혹하게 부숴진 화면을 보고 시위에 대해 호의적인 사람들조차 등을 돌리게 됩니다. 특히 범민족대회에서 다른 학생들이 잡혀가는 와중에 한총련 지도부가 도주한 것은 학생운동을 하는 사람들 사이에서도 어떻게 그럴 수가 있느냐는 소리가 나올 정도의 일이었습니다. 시위에 나서던 동기들이나 후배들이 시위에 나서는 것을 서서히 접거나 나서면서도 볼멘소리를 내기 시작한 때가 그 때로 기억합니다. 1997년을 맞이하면서 이런 흐름은 가속화됩니다. 왜냐하면 제가 다니던 학교에서 제 5기 한총련 출범식이 있었고 그로 인해 난장판이 또 벌어집니다. 그리고 그 시점을 전후해 멀쩡한 사람을 프락치로 오인해 고문하고 때려 죽인 이른바 '이석씨 치사 사건'이 발생합니다. 참고로 이석씨 치사 사건에 대해서는 당시 학생운동을 하는 사람들이 꿀 먹은 벙어리가 되었는데 이유는 간단합니다. 그도 그럴 것이 프락치도 아닌 멀쩡한 사람을. 자기 나이 또래의 청년을 마치 박종철씨를 죽인 과거 독재군사정권의 경찰들이 고문한 것처럼 고문하고 때려 죽였기 때문입니다. 다만 당시 언론에 그 사실이 크게 보도된 이후에도 친 학생회 측에서 프락치 운운하는 대자보는 몇 개 나왔다가 들어간 것으로 기억합니다. 뭐 그 당시에도 '정신승리'는 있었다는 거겠죠. 만일 이런 '좋은 먹잇감'을 목격한 것이 1995년의 저였다면, 그랬다면 학생운동을 하는 자들에게 '너희들이 말하는 박종철 열사를 죽인 경찰과 너희들이 뭐가 다르냐'고 쌍소리를 내뱉었을 테지만, 신기하게도 저는 그 당시에는 그 상황에 대해 주위에 그런 분노를 표출하지는 않게 됩니다. 검문검색하는 경찰이 짜증났고 제 주변을 귀찮게 하는 일들이 싫었을 뿐이니까요. 대학교 내부가 난장판이 된 꼴을 보고는 '내 하는 짓 보니 저럴 줄 알았다' 라는 생각만 했고 학교 측에서 한총련 사무실 폐쇄를 결정한 것은 당연한 일이라고 생각한 정도였을 뿐 주위 사람들과 더 대립하거나 하지는 않습니다. 그냥 서로 할 말이 없는 상황이다. 정도로 이해하시면 되지 않을까 생각합니다. 한편으로 같이 다니던 몇 안 되는 안면 있는 친구들끼리조차. 각자 학과과정이 달라지면서 바쁘기도 하고, 소원해지기도 한 것도 큰 이유였습니다. 그리고 1997년 말. 두 가지 큰 일이 벌어집니다. 제 15대 대통령 선거. 그리고 외환위기 및 그에 따른 IMF 구제금융 신청이었습니다. - To Be Continued... - Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 13
이 게시판에 등록된 The xian님의 최근 게시물
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Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 185
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_comment - assumed 'use_comment' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 540
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 542
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Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant grant_delete - assumed 'grant_delete' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
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Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 605
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Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 600
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
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Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
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Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 640
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
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Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
118717 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
118717 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
118717'> 와우
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
18/12/16 14:26
118717>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
전혀 몰랐던 내용들이 많네요... ㄷㄷ
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
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Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
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Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
118717>
118717>
