Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 278
홍차넷
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 34
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 45
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 47
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 51
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 237
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 34
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 45
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 47
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 51
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 237
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/zero_header.php on line 269
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/zero_header.php on line 300
Warning: Use of undefined constant title - assumed 'title' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 16
질문
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 21
Warning: Use of undefined constant header - assumed 'header' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 31
- 질문 게시판입니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 519
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_category - assumed 'use_category' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/include/print_category.php on line 9
전체기타게임진로연애가정/육아체육/스포츠교육의료/건강철학/종교IT/컴퓨터여행과학문화/예술법률홍차넷경제
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/setup.php on line 29
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/setup.php on line 41
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 398
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 2
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/memo_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 10
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_category - assumed 'use_category' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 40
| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 18/03/26 11:57:00 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | [익명] |
| Subject | 29살.. 어리버리함 때문에 인생에 회의감을 가지고 사는 1인입니다 |
|
안녕하세요. 올해로 29살되는 신체만 건강한 남자입니다. 제가 적고자 하는 내용은 본래 주변 지인 친구들과 술 왕창 마시면서 해야될 진부한 인생 얘기인데...제가 술도 못하고 현실 세계(?)에서는 남들에게 약한 모습을 보이는 것을 매우 매우 두려워해서 비겁하게 여기에 익명으로 글을 남겨봅니다. 저는 지거국 대학에서 사회과학계열 학부를 졸업했습니다. 중고등학교때 단 한번도 공부 열심히 한 적도, 유별나게 잘한적도 없는데 대학에 들어가서는 '이제라도 정신차리고 공부 안하면 진짜 인생 망하겠다'라는 생각이 들어서 열심히 했었었습니다. 요즘 말하는 자발적 아웃사이더로 살았던거같아요. 그래서 학점도 높았구... 교수님들도 좋게 봐주셔서 졸업 학기때 아주 약간의 고민을 하다 같은 학교 석사에 입학했었구요. 어째서인지 석사논문이 또 좋은 평가를 받아서...지금은 해외 유학 준비를 하려고 혼자 영어공부 준비를 하고 있습니다. 이렇게만 보면 그렇게 막 엄청나게 잘못 산 인생이 아니란것은 알겠는데... 제 개인적으로는 제 인생이 어마어마하게 불안하네요 제 스스로 가장 불안한 점은...저는 자타공인 굉장히 어리버리한 사람입니다;;; 학창시절~대학시절까지 포함해서 공부만 하던 시절에는 몰랐는데요...졸업 시즌 맞이하고 석사생활 하면서 사회 직장생활 비스무리한 경험을 조금씩 해보니 저는 일을 하는데 있어서는 진짜 어리버리한 면이 굉장히 많더라구요.... (근데 또 이상하게 군대에서는 잘 못느꼈었습니다. 아마 몸쓰는데는 어리버리한게 없나봅니다) 일단 제 스스로 제가 저를 잘 믿지를 못하는게 가장 큰 문제인데요... 그래서 같은 일을 하더라도 남들보다 몇 배로 더 구상하는데 시간을 투자하고 재확인을 하곤 합니다. 지금까지는 그게 가능했던게... 석사시절 제가 맡았던 일이라는게 석사 학생이 처리할 만한 수준의 일이었기 때문이었던것 같습니다. 하루는 24시간이고..제가 일에 투자할 수 있는 시간이 12시간 정도라면 제가 맡았던 일은 보통사람이 2~3시간이면 할 수 있는 일이었고 저는 그걸 5~6시간 들여서 했던거죠 그래서..결과적으로 같이 일하는 분들은 제가 그렇게까지 어리버리한걸 잘 모릅니다. 그냥 가끔 보면 '넌 이상하게 자신감이 좀 없다?' 정도의 말은 들었는데...일적으로 크게 실수하거나 마감기한 넘긴적은 없었습니다 근데 이런 방법이 실제 직장생활을 하게 되면 먹히지 않을거라는걸 잘 알고 있습니다 ㅠㅠ 직장에 다니게되면 하루 8시간 열심히해야 할 수 있는 업무들이 주어질텐데...제가 그 일들을 16시간씩 일해가며 처리하다가는 다른 직장 동료들과의 팀워크에 크게 지장이 있기도 할거고.. 저 스스로도 굉장히 힘들거라는걸 잘 알거든요 ㅠㅠ 그래서 석사를 졸업하고... 교수님께서 특별히(?) 괜찮은 연구직 자리를 소개해주셨을 때에도 그 자리를 거절하고 박사과정에 도전하겠다고 결정했었습니다.... 물론 결정했을 당시에는 주변에서 제 석사논문을 보시고 좋은 말씀을 많이 해주셨기 때문이기도 한데...(대개 다 좋은 말씀해주시는거긴 하지만서도 ㅠㅠ) 직장생활에 대한 두려움도 결정에 아주 큰 부분을 차지했었습니다... 그리고 지금 혼자서 유학을 준비하고 있습니다. 하고 있는 공부는 예전부터 쭉 해오던것이라 그렇게까지 힘들지 않은데 언젠가는 나도 지금 배운것들을 활용해서 사회생활을..직장생활을 시작해야한다고하니 또 두려움이 생기네요 ㅠㅠ 박사과정에 진학하겠다고 결정할때 제 스스로에게 바랬던것은 "내가 진짜 이 학문에 미쳐버렸으면 좋겠다"라는거였어요... 그러면 어리버리함에서 오는 불안감을 조금 덜 느끼고 직업생활을 할 수 있을것 같아서요... 그런데 공부를 하면 할수록 그게 마음처럼 안된다는것을 자꾸 느끼네요 ㅠㅠ 좋아하는 학문이라는것도... 생업과 연결되는 한 직장생활의 속성을 가질 수 밖에 없다는것을 절실하게 느끼고 있습니다..... 길을 애초부터 잘못 선택했다는 생각도 자꾸 들구요... 단순반복 작업 혹은 일정정도 숙달되면 반복작업의 연속인 직업의 길을 선택했어야 이런 불안감이 덜 들었으려나 라는 생각도 듭니다... 한때는 열심히하면 어리버리함이라는게 극복가능한 것이라 믿기도 했었는데요...그래서 남들보다 몇 배 더 열심히 했던건데. 그런것과 좀 다른건가봐요 아무리해도 안된다는 느낌을 계속 받네요..사람은 쉽게 안 변하나봅니다 이대로가다가는 제가 성공적으로 미국에 유학생활을 마치고 와도 이후의 삶이 지금과 전혀 다르지 않은, 어리버리함을 감추기위한 고군분투와 들킬까 두려운 불안에 둘러쌓인 삶의 연속일거라고 생각하니 이게 다 뭐하는짓인가 싶은 생각이 매일 드네요 이런 생각이 들기 시작한 이후부터는 친구나 지인도 잘 못만나겠습니다. 타인을 만나면 그냥 뭔가 불안하고 어색해서...또 그런제가 상대방을 더 불편하게 만드는 것 같고 그런 악순환에 빠지는거같아서 가능하면 여자친구 외에 사적인 자리는 가지지 않으려 노력하고 있습니다 이런 생각이 잘못된거라는건 분명 알겠는데... 탈출구가 없는것처럼 느껴져서 너무 힘드네요 그냥 답답한 마음에 하소연처럼 적어봤습니다. 정답이 없다는것을 알고 있습니다. 저에게 필요한 것은 날카로운 해결책이 아니라 제가 가진 생각의 틀이나 과거의 경험이 만들어낸 사고방식을 깨부술 수 있는 용감한 망치라는 것을 느끼고 있습니다. 그래도 혹시 어리버리함을 극복하신 분이 계시다면....조언 해주시면 감사하겠습니다 ㅠㅠ Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 0 |
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Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 185
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_comment - assumed 'use_comment' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 540
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 542
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Warning: Use of undefined constant grant_delete - assumed 'grant_delete' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
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Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
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Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
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Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
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Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 620
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Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 640
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
37090 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
37090 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
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Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
37090'> 다람쥐
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
18/03/26 12:02
37090>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
직장생활에서 어느정도 어리버리해도 생각보다 업무엔 타격 안 생기더라고요. 주변에 일하는거 봐도 그렇고요 성격이 좋으면 좀 어리버리해도 귀엽게 봐주는거같아요
다만 어리버리한데 그거에 스스로 주눅들어서 일을 할때마다 멈칫거리거나
어리버리한걸 뛰어넘을 다른 장점이 없으면 좀 그렇 ㅠㅠㅠ
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
다만 어리버리한데 그거에 스스로 주눅들어서 일을 할때마다 멈칫거리거나
어리버리한걸 뛰어넘을 다른 장점이 없으면 좀 그렇 ㅠㅠㅠ
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
37090>
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