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홍차넷
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티타임
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 21
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- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
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전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
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| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 19/07/07 21:31:25 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | Xayide |
| Subject | 금식, 금주, 금욕 5일차 이야기. |
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갑자기 우울함이 확 터져나왔었습니다. 평소처럼 게임으로 풀려고 해 봤습니다. 평소처럼 술로 풀려고 해 봤습니다. 평소처럼 비싼 음식으로 풀려고 해 봤습니다. 평소와 달리 영화관을 가 봤습니다. 평소와 달리 밤바다도 가 봤습니다. 평소와 달리 친구들도 불러봤습니다. 효과가 없었습니다. 아무것도. 그냥 그 순간 뿐이었어요. 종교인들의 경우, 금식을 통해 내면의 평화를 얻는다고 했습니다. 나무위키의 금식 항목에서도 금식을 정기적으로 하는 종교인들은 대체로 마음이 선하고 친절한 편이라고 볼 수 있다. 진화심리학자들은 원래 사람은 굶주린 상태일수록 친사회적이고 협동을 잘 하게 되며 약자를 돌보고 배려하는 경향을 보임을 실험을 통해 입증했다. 라는 글귀가 있습니다. 비록 믿고 거르는 나무위키라지만, 적어도 우울증에 가만히 고통받는 것보다는 뭐라도 해보자 싶어서 금식을 시작했습니다. 내친김에 금주와 금욕도 같이. 신체 건강을 망치는 지름길이라지만 정신 건강이 제겐 더 중요했습니다. 그리고 금식이라지만, 커피(아메리카노. 설탕이나 시럽 없이.)나 녹차 정도는 먹을 생각도 있었구요. 첫 날은 아무런 느낌이 없었습니다. 헌혈하고 물을 충분히 마시고 나자 그냥 괜찮았어요. 둘쨋날과 셋째날은 뱃살이 준다고만 느꼈습니다. 허기도 없고 우울함에 배가 메슥거리는 느낌만 있었죠. 넷째날이 되어서야 드디어 배가 고프다는 걸 느꼈습니다. 셋째날까지 하루 세 시간씩 타던 자전거도 두 시간까지밖에 못 탔죠. 힘이 부족해서. 오늘은 한 시간 정도만 탔습니다. 오래 걸으면 현기증이 살짝 나기도 했구요. 마음의 평화는 조금 찾은 느낌입니다. 일 할 때마다 우울함에 잠겨있다가 이런 내가 한심해서 화나고 그래서 뭔가를 집어던져버리고 싶던 충동이 지금은 많이 사라졌어요. 날 우울하게 만드는 일도 다른 사람도 똑같이 겪는 일이라는 걸 알고도 있고 나보다 힘든 사람이 있다는 것도 알고도 있었지만 그래도 힘들었었는데 지금은 조금 나아진 느낌입니다. 발라드 들으면서 울던 것도 다른 사람들 보기 싫던 것도 취기에 빠져 혼자 틀어박히고 싶던 것도 많이 줄었어요. 몸 건강이야 뭐 원래 약간의 과체중 말고는 건강하기도 했고 당장 몸 건강보다는 정신건강이 더 중요하다고도 생각되어서 당장 뭐라도 해보자고 생각해서 시작했는데 효과가 있기는 하네요. 우울함의 정도에 따라 다르겠지만 첫 계획은 짧으면 1주일 길면 열흘 정도로 잡았습니다. 아무리 우울해도 죽고싶다는 생각은 아직 없었거든요. '아직 주변 사람들에게 받은 은혜는 다 갚고 죽어야지' 라는 생각 때문에라도 죽을 생각은 안 했습니다. 금식이 끝나면 후기글이나 다시 올려보렵니다. p.s. 근데 다 부수고 싶고 집어던지고 싶고 하는 충동이 사라진건 내면에 평화가 온 것보다는 그냥 금식 때문에 무기력해져서 그런게 아닌가 하고 좀 알쏭달쏭 합니다. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 9 이 게시판에 등록된 Xayide님의 최근 게시물
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126553 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
126553 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
126553'> 메존일각
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
19/07/07 23:07
126553>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
저에게 금식은 병원에서 검사 받을 때나...
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
126553>
126553>
