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홍차넷
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Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/zero_header.php on line 269
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티타임
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 21
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- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 519
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전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/setup.php on line 29
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| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 16/06/11 11:09:04 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | No.42 |
| Subject | 나는 너보다 늦었다. |
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밤은 늘 길다. 그리고 하얗다. 많은 이들에게 허락된 숙면은 내게는 사치다. 온갖 단상과 망상의 사이를 헤매다 희끄무레 밝아지는 창가를 바라보아야 하는 날이 더 많다. 오늘도 어김없이 새벽빛을 향해 한숨을 보낼 때, 문득 깨달았다. 길었던 지난 하루, 무겁게 잠에서 깨어 다시 잠들려 노력하는 이 시간까지... 나는 너의 이름을 한 번도 떠올리지 않았다. 네가 떠난 지 얼마나 되었나. 누군가는 충분히 길다고 할 만 한, 누군가는 얼마 되지 않았다 할 만 한, 그리고 나는 잘 모르겠다고밖에 할 수 없을 만큼의 시간이 지났다. 그리고 그 시간동안 나는, 너의 이름을 떠올리고 추억하기를 하루도 거른 날이 없었다. 나의 일상 속에 그것은 버릇이 되어 있었다. 칫솔을 쥘 때에, 신발끈을 고칠 때에, 가방을 여닫으며 나는 나도 모르게 너의 이름을 부르곤 했다. 그렇게 시간을 보내왔다. 그것이 어제 그쳤다. 몸을 씻고, 옷을 꿰입고, 신발을 끌고서 나가면서도... 여기 저기 지폐를 꺼내고 카드를 건넬 때도, 담배를 꺼낸답시고 가방을 여닫을 때도 나는 너의 이름을 부르지 않았다. 언젠가 이런 날이 오리라 생각했다. 이런 날이 절대 오지 않기를 바라기도 했다. 하지만 죽음처럼 이 날은 피할 수 없을 것이라 체념했다. 나는 이 날이 나의 이별이 완료되는 날이라 느끼고 또 생각하고 있었다. 나는 너보다 늦었다. 먼저 마음을 가진 것도, 그 마음을 표현한 것도 너였다. 네가 내민 손에 이끌려 나는 너와 함께 같은 길을 걸었다. 길이 편치만은 않았다. 비틀거리기도 하고, 넘어져 다치기도 여러차례였다. 난 늘 네가 나를 앞서서 걸어갔다고 기억하고 있다. 그래서일까. 이 여정의 어떤 끄트머리에 먼저 다다른 것도 너였다. 그렇게 너는 먼저 이 길에서 벗어났다. 나는 네 뒤를 따랐다. 얼마나 뒤쳐졌던 것일까. 일부러 먼 길로 돌고 있었던 것일까. 네가 오래 전에 떠난 이 길의 끝에 나는 이제서야 다다랐다. 이제 한 발자국이면 나는 너와 헤어진다. 나 스스로 막다른 길의 표지판을 세워본 들, 내가 너의 이름을 읊조리는 버릇이 말끔히 사라지진 않을 터이다. 하지만 어제처럼 너를 한 번도 추억하지 않는 날이 곧 또 찾아올 것이고, 다시 또 찾아올 것이고, 그렇게 그런 날이 늘어갈 것이다. 그리고 언젠가는 그렇게 널 생각하지 않는 나 자신을 노여워하고 슬퍼하지 않는 날도 올 지 모른다. 하지만 너의 이름과 거기에 매달린 그리움, 미안함, 그리고 사랑... 그 무게를 거뜬히 들어올리는 날은 결코 오지 않을 듯 하다. 그리 가끔 너를 그리워하고 공허히 닿지 않을 고백을 되뇌이는 것은 내 스스로 널 잃은 내게 베푸는 마지막 관용같은 것이다. '이것만큼은' 이라는 어찌보면 비겁한 말머리를 달아서. 나는 이제서야 이별을 마주한다. 날카로운 아픔이나 무거운 슬픔이나 이제서야 똑바로 바라보고 온전히 짊어질 일이다. 내가 잃어버린 널 사랑할 자격을 희구하는 일도 널 사랑할 자격이 없는 나를 희롱하는 일도 외면치 않고 감당해야 할 것이다. 내가 너보다 늦었다, 또. 그 이유가 망각이든 외면이든 인내든 내가 없는 일상에 익숙해져 환하게 웃으며 살아가는 너보다 나는 늦었다. 내 가장 깊은 곳에서 가장 높은 곳까지 감추는 것 없이 진심으로 전하고 싶다. 사랑한다. 나를 미워하든, 잊든... 부디 행복하길 바란다. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 7 이 게시판에 등록된 No.42님의 최근 게시물
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Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
42911 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
42911 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
42911'> 눈부심
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
16/06/11 11:49
42911>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
태어나서 이렇게 엄숙한 연인의 고백 첨 봐요..
엄숙은 어휘선택이 잘못된 듯..
장엄하고 슬퍼요.
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
엄숙은 어휘선택이 잘못된 듯..
장엄하고 슬퍼요.
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
42911>
42911>
