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홍차넷
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티타임
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- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
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전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
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| Date |
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| Name | No.42 |
| Subject | 안빡센 군대가 어딨냐 |
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안녕하세요, 42번입니다. 평어체로 작성된 글입니다. 신변잡생각입니다. "야, 나 군대에서는..." 대체로 이렇게 시작하는 내용은 뭐가 빠지도록 고생한 내용일 가능성이 크다. 헌데, 내 경우는 좀 다르다. 30%는 끊임 없는 야근과 쓰레기같은 영외자들 덕에 고생한 이야기지만, 70%는 화목하고 비교적 합리적이었던 내무 생활로 인한 행복, 그리고 거기서 생겨난 좋은 인간관계들에 대한 자랑이다. 부대에서 인생 최고의 햄버거와 스테이크, 핫도그를 먹어볼 수 있었던 이가 얼마나 되겠는가. 특히, 육군 카투사도 아닌 공군 병사가. 식량 이외에도 내가 군대에서 보낸 시절은 꽤 괜찮았다. 아니, 다른 이들에 비해서 나쁘지 않았다. 그렇다 하더라도, 나는 군대라는 곳은 될 수 있으면 안가는 것이 비교도 안되게 좋을 것이라고 생각한다. 그 젊은 시간의 소중함, 몸과 마음에 남는 영원한 흉터에 대해서는 나보다 몇 배 쯤 행복한 부대라고 할 지라도 수지타산이 안맞는다. 말한 것처럼, 나는 내가 남들보다 훨씬 편한 곳에서 군생활을 보낸 것에 대해서는 인정하려 한다. 그런데, 그럼 난 안힘들었을까? 아니다. 진짜 뒤지게 힘들었다. 약 8개월간 하루 평균 수면시간이 고3때보다도 짧았고, 새벽에 출근하다가 문고리를 잡고 실신하여 실려간 것이 세 번이다. 무거운 짐을 혼자 나르다가 어깨에 있는 뭐가 찢어졌고, 그 통증은 지금 이순간에도 남아있다. 그 어깨가 찢어졌을 때 또 무거운 짐을 혼자 나르라고 해서 빡쳤었고, 그 빡침을 짐짝에 워커발로 발길질하는 것으로 풀었으며, 그 장면을 짐을 나르도록 시킨 장교에게 목격당해 멱살도 잡혔다. "너 이새키... 한 번만 더 이딴 짓 하면 군기교육대 보내버릴 거야!!" -보내십쇼. 거기가 사무실 보다 100배는 편합니다. 이런 사고를 치고서 나는 좀 더 마음이 편하고 몸은 더 괴로운 곳으로 갈 수 있었다. 그리고 그 곳에도 그 곳 나름의 거지같은 현실이 마련되어 있었다. 다시 말하지만, 나의 군 생활은 남들보다 편했다. 그렇다고 내가 괴롭지 않았는가? 아니다. 다시 강조하자면, 진짜 뒤지게 힘들었다. 그런 곳이 바로 군대다. 너 나 할 것 없이 모두가 힘들게 다녀온다. 난 편했어, 좋았어라고 한 들, 그게 정말 절대적으로 편했다는 뜻일 확률은 실로 희박하다. 그냥 지금까지 썰을 푼 당신들에 비해 나는 고생한 썰 풀 거리가 좀 적다거나, 아니면 귀찮다거나 뭐 그런 것일 확률이 더 높을 것이다. 내 생각에, 군대는 그냥 그런 곳이다. 내가 더 힘들었네, 네가 더 편했네, 아웅다웅할 일이 아니다. 누군가가 갑자기 지나가는 사람을 붙들고는 허공을 향해 외친다. 이 자는 나보다 냅다 편하게 살아온 나쁜놈이오, 나는 이 자보다 몹시 힘들게 살아온 약자고 피해자요. 그러니 이 자에게 돌을 던지고 욕을 하시오. 나는 이 자의 것을 빼앗아 편히 살고 싶소. 나는 내가 선택하지 않은 것으로 피해를 보아왔고, 이 자는 그만큼 부당히 이득을 보았소. 그러니 이 자의 것을 빼앗아 내가 가지게 하시오. 그리고 거기 당신도 그 옆에 있는 자를 누르고 빼앗으시오. 우리 이제는 빼앗기지 말고 앗으며 삽시다. 내가 가끔 나 군생활 편했네 어쨌네 하면서 시비터는 이들에게 하는 말이 있다. 6x3, 니가 우리 부대에서 30개월 살아보았냐고. 만일 내가 지나가다가 저런 이에게 붙잡혀서 저따위 대사를 들었다면, (후려치지 않았다는 전제 하에) 난 아마 이렇게 얘기했을 것이다. 넌 내가, 그리고 내 옆의 이 이가, 저 앞에 서서 지친 눈으로 여기를 바라보고 있는 이들의 인생을 살아보았냐고. 나 또한 너의 인생을 살아보지 않아서 너의 고달픔을 모두 알지는 못하나, 나 역시 살아오며 많은 눈물을 쏟았고, 상처를 입었으며, 배신을 당하고, 피해를 입어왔노라고. 세상에 틀림 없이 축복을 물고 태어나 행복을 씹으며 사는 이들이 있겠지만, 나는 아마 그러한 범주에 들어가지는 않을 것이라고. 너도 마찬가지라면 유감이지만, 이제 와서 그것을 내가 이룩한 것을 욕하며 빼앗아 채우려 하지는 말라고. 안빡센 군대는 거~~~~의 없다. 거~~~~의 다 X같은 곳이다. 마찬가지로, 안빡센 인생도 별로 없다. 다들 힘들게 살아왔다. 살면서 룰루랄라 노래하고 삼바를 추며 그저 하염없이 행복한 이가 얼마나 되겠는가. 더군다나 별의 별 요지경이 다 펼쳐진 20세기 말, 21세기 초의 대한민국을 살아오면서 말이다. 힘든 것은, 나도 너도 마찬가지다. 어릴 적에 저놈의 자식에게 줘터지고 돈이라도 빼앗긴 것이 아니라면, 그렇게 명확한 것이 아니라면, 누구라도 나의 인생에서 뭔가를 앗아갔다고 비난하면 안될 것이다. 심지어 그 때 날 치고 돈 뺏어간 놈은 남국의 태양 아래에서 물장구치며 놀고 있는데, 그 때 내 앞자리에서 열심히 공부하던 놈의 뒷통수가 졸라 미웠소이다 - 그 놈이 내 인생을 망쳤소라는 것은 광인의 헛소리에 다름 아닌 것이다. 항간에 이런 소리를 자꾸 개소리라고 하는 이들이 있는데, 실로 불편하다. 우리 집 개들의 소리에는 실로 큰 애정과 다양하고 합리적인 의미들이 담겨 있다. 저따위의 저열함과 엮어서 될 소리가 아니다. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 13
이 게시판에 등록된 No.42님의 최근 게시물
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Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 543
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 545
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 576
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant grant_delete - assumed 'grant_delete' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 429
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 599
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 599
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 600
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 600
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 614
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 616
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 620
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 640
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
105757 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
105757 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
105757'> 헬리제의우울
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
18/06/10 23:38
105757>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
30개월이라니...
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
10
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
10
105757>
105757>
