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홍차넷
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Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/zero_header.php on line 269
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/zero_header.php on line 300
Warning: Use of undefined constant title - assumed 'title' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 16
티타임
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 21
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- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 519
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_category - assumed 'use_category' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/include/print_category.php on line 9
전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/setup.php on line 29
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Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 398
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Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 2
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/memo_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 10
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_category - assumed 'use_category' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 40
| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 16/05/10 21:03:24 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | 에밀리 |
| Subject | [조각글 25주차] 그는 어디에서 오는가 |
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주제 _ 선정자 : 7월 부끄러움에 대하여 일화건 생각이건 진지하게 생각하고 깊게 생각해서 글 써주세요. 가능하면 이성적 부끄러움 외에 대해 말씀해주셨으면 좋겠지만, 가능하면 이니까, 저의 썩소 보고 싶으시면 첫사랑 쓰세요. 전 인간으로써의 부끄러움이 보고싶습니다. 구린 부분들을 파헤쳐주세요. 글 장르는 상관없습니다. 합평 방식 분량은 자유고 합평방식은 자유롭게 댓글에 달아주시면 좋겠습니다. 맞춤법 검사기 http://speller.cs.pusan.ac.kr/PnuSpellerISAPI_201504/ 합평 받고 싶은 부분 어... 죄송합니다. 아직 잘 모르겠어요. 하고싶은 말 부끄럽네요. 부끄럽다, 부끄러워. 술 먹고는 횡설수설 이상하게 단톡방에 남겼던 카톡도 부끄럽고 그 술 먹는 가게 알바 언니가 너무 걸크러쉬여서 살짝 들이댔다 까인 게 부끄럽고 이상한 가게에서 정신 못 차리고 춤춘 게 또 부끄럽고 무릎에 멍이 시퍼렇게 든 채로 길에서 토를 한 게 또 부끄럽습니다. 마지막으로 글이 또 부끄럽네요. 본문 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 내 글을 드러내는 게 부끄럽다. 나는 나를 남보다는 더 깊게 이해하고 있고 그렇기에 내가 그려내는 나와 실제의 내가 많이 다르다는 것을 알고 있다. 내가 원하는 나는 다양한 면에서 실제 나보다 더 나은 나이며 그 나에 미치지 못하는 내가 나는 부끄럽다. 글을 쓸 때 나는 내가 바라는 나보다 글을 못쓰는 나와 마주하고 그를 부끄러워한다. 더 구역질 나고 더 부끄러운 건 글을 못쓰는 나보다 더 나은 글을 쓰는 나로 보이길 원하고 그를 위해 행동하는 나인데 부끄러운 나는 그에게서조차 시선을 돌려 버린다. 부끄러움은 뭘까? 좋아하는 사람 앞에서 말 못 하고 쭈뼛거리는 그거, 부끄러움이 많다고 얘기하고 다니는 주제에 남들이 꺼리는 조별 과제 발표는 즐길 수 있게끔 그럴 때만은 나타나지 않는 그거, 난 부끄러움이 사회의 계약에서 출발했다고 생각한다. 서로 달랐던 개인이 모였으니 사회에서의 모습이 달랐고 자연 자신이 어떻게 보이는지 궁금해 했으며, 끝내는 자신을 연출하는 단계까지 이르렀겠지. 누가 그러더라, 의복은 일종의 투영 자아라고. 허영심도 괜찮겠다. 그래, 그래서 난 그렇게 어른스러워 보이는 셔츠를 입고 넥타이며 보타이며 각종 타이를 했고 내가 원하는 나를 연출했어. 허영에 가득 차서, 남들이 좋아해주는 게 좋아서. 그런데 자신이 만들어낸 자신에 자신이 미치지 못 할 때, 우리는 부끄러움을 느낄 거야. 좋아하는 이성이 자신을 좋아하지 않는 것이 부끄러운 건 내가 그에게 단번에 사랑받는 나를 그렸기 때문이고, 내가 과제 발표가 남들과 달리 부끄럽지 않은 건 내가 그린 내가 다소 나댄다는 말을 듣더라도 그런 과제 발표를 잘 하는 나이기 때문이지. 그런데 위에서 말한 부끄러움도 두 가지로 나눌 수 있다. 내면에서 오는 것과 외부에서 오는 것, 밖에서 오는 친구는 한결 담백하다. 그는 내가 사회의 나에 충분하지 않다는 걸 담담히 보여준다. 다큐멘터리같이 있는 그대로, 난 사회의 나에 걸맞기 위해 더 노력하고 내 모습을 가꾸면 될 뿐이다. 그러나 안에서 오는 친구는 구질구질하고 끔찍하다. 그 친구는 보다 본질적인 부분을 찔러댄다. "네가 만들어낸 너는 네가 아닌데?"라고 비웃는 그가 보인다. 더욱 무서운 사실은 그가 곧 나라는 점이다. 내 안에서 출발한 내 부끄러움은 내 얼굴을 하고 내 얼굴을 꼬집는다. "넌 이렇게 생겼잖아." Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 0 이 게시판에 등록된 에밀리님의 최근 게시물
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Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
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Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
39134 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
39134 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
39134'> Moira
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
16/05/11 11:29
39134>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
아.. 어렸을 때는 \'내가 보는 나\'의 감각이 너무 리얼해서 순간순간이 창피했는데, 나이 들수록 다행히(!) 리얼타임은 아니고 턴방식으로 넘어간달지, 랙이 걸린달지, 어쨌건 창피의 템포가 늦어져요! 수치심은 약해지고 생존의지는 강해지는 듯 ... ㄷㄷ
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
39134>
39134>
