Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 278
홍차넷
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 34
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 45
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 47
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 51
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 237
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 34
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 45
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 47
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 51
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 237
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/zero_header.php on line 269
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/zero_header.php on line 300
Warning: Use of undefined constant title - assumed 'title' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 16
티타임
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 21
Warning: Use of undefined constant header - assumed 'header' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 31
- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 519
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_category - assumed 'use_category' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/include/print_category.php on line 9
전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/setup.php on line 29
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/setup.php on line 41
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 389
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 389
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 389
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 398
Warning: Use of undefined constant subject - assumed 'subject' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 402
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 403
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 405
Warning: Use of undefined constant total_comment - assumed 'total_comment' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 406
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Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 405
Warning: Use of undefined constant total_comment - assumed 'total_comment' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 406
Warning: Use of undefined constant subject - assumed 'subject' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 402
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 403
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 405
Warning: Use of undefined constant total_comment - assumed 'total_comment' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 406
Warning: Use of undefined constant subject - assumed 'subject' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 402
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Warning: Use of undefined constant total_comment - assumed 'total_comment' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 406
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Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 403
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 405
Warning: Use of undefined constant total_comment - assumed 'total_comment' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 406
Warning: Use of undefined constant subject - assumed 'subject' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 402
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 403
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 405
Warning: Use of undefined constant total_comment - assumed 'total_comment' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 406
Warning: Use of undefined constant subject - assumed 'subject' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 402
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 403
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 405
Warning: Use of undefined constant total_comment - assumed 'total_comment' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 406
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Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 403
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Warning: Use of undefined constant total_comment - assumed 'total_comment' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 406
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Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 403
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 405
Warning: Use of undefined constant total_comment - assumed 'total_comment' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 406
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 2
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/memo_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 10
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_category - assumed 'use_category' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 40
| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 16/02/28 22:45:49 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | nickyo |
| Subject | [조각글 16주차] 친구의 진실 |
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제목 : [조각글 16주차] (☜ 말머리를 달아주세요!) [조각글 16주차 주제] 좋아하는 음식 / 일요일 / 친구 / 거짓말 / 목소리 위 다섯가지 중에서 두 개를 선택하여 소재로 삼아 글을 쓰시오. 합평 받고 싶은 부분 ex) 맞춤법 틀린 것 있는지 신경써주세요, 묘사가 약합니다, 서사의 흐름은 자연스럽나요?, 문체가 너무 늘어지는 편인데 조언을 부탁드립니다, 글 구성에 대해 조언을 받고 싶습니다, 맘에 안 드는 것은 전부 다 말씀해주세요, 등등 자신이 글을 쓰면서 유의깊게 봐주었으면 하는 부분 등등을 얘기해주시면 덧글을 달 때 많은 도움이 될 것 같습니다. 하고 싶은 말 본문 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 친구의 말은 온통 거짓뿐이었다. 그러나 나는 말없이 소주잔을 비워야 했다. 때로는 소주가 맥주로, 맥주가 아메리카노로, 아메리카노가 캔콜라로, 캔콜라가 믹스커피로 바뀌고는 했지만 요는 그러하였다. 사랑뿐만이 아니다. 우정에도 진실은 때때로 불필요한 첨가물일때가 있다. 나는 굳이 그의 거짓이 밴 속살을 휘적이지 않았다. 그의 거짓들은 친절하고, 사랑스럽고, 귀여운 것들이었다. 그의 거짓말에 빚진 웃음을 다 세기는 어려울 것이다. 그의 부고를 들은 것은 그가 고른 일견 생소한 아이스 주스를 마신 뒤의 언젠가였다. 불의의 사고로.. 로 시작하는 80byte 의 문자메세지는 사실처럼 느껴지지 않았다. 지금은 '톡'의 시대지, '메세지'의 시대는 아니잖아. 이건 통신사에서 요금을 빨리 내라는 재촉을 받거나.. 어쩌구 몰에서 세일 행사를 한다거나.. 본인인증이 필요하다거나.. 어쩐지. 그가 아이스 주스를 고르는 것 만큼이나 문자메세지는 생소했다. 불의의 사고로라는 문장의 앞글자를 또박또박 눈으로 긁어낸다. 갈아만든 생과일 오렌지주스에서는 선키스트의 맛이 났었다. 그는 노량진의 명물이라며 신이 난 듯, 이 정도는 사줄 수 있지 라고 어깨를 으쓱였던것 같다. 친구의 장례식에 유급휴가는 나오지 않는다. 나는 퇴근을 기다렸다. 점심시간에 사회복지쪽 파트에 있는 지인과 식사를 했다. 여자였고, 동기의 소개로 만났던. 시청은 넓고 부서가 다르다면 사내연애는 문제될 것도 없다. 하지만 그녀와 나는 지인 이상의 개념으로 서로를 정의하려 하지는 않았다. 우리는 점심시간마다 식사를 했고, 주에 두 번 정도 섹스를 했다. 그녀에게는 여자인 애인이 있다고 했다. 만약 두 줄 정도로 인생을 압축한다면, 나의 삶은 그보다 짧을지도 모른다. 가난하지 않은 가정환경, 화목한 부모님.. 중간정도의 성적으로 학교를 졸업하고 서울의 4년제를 무난히 졸업해 적당한 중소기업에서 1년쯤 돈을 벌다가 공부를 해 공무원이 되었습니다. 방황이나 연애경험도 없고 심심하다면 심심하고 표준적이라면 표준적일, 채소육수에 소금간도 덜 친 듯한 인생. 후추가루를 찾는게 귀찮다고는 했지만 사실은 후추와 연이 없었을 뿐이다. 그래서 요즘의 삶은 비현실적이기만 하다. 나는 연애를 해보기도 전에 섹스파트너가 생겨버렸고, 불의의 사고는 대체로 자살에 붙이는거 아냐? 하는 이 무감각한 여자와 또 섹스를 하고있다. 솔직하고 쿨한 태도와 달리 그녀의 몸 속은 뜨겁다 못해 타들어가는 느낌이었다. 꿀렁이는 허리에 맞춰 온 몸이 뽑혀나갈것만 같은 느낌에 이악문 신음이 거친 숨소리 사이로 박자를 맞춘다. 섹스의 회수를 남자의 사정횟수로 세는 것은 가부장적 문화의 잔재일까, 하는 생각을 하며 쓰러졌다. 왜 편의점에서 파는 콘돔은 3개입인걸까. 텅 빈 콘돔박스를 힘 빠진 손으로 쓰레기통에 밀어넣는다. 비릿한 냄새가 코끝을 찌른다. 온 몸에 섞인 체액들을 적당히 씻고 모텔을 나왔다. 그녀는 담배를 태웠고, 나는 태우지 않았다. 나는 다만 그녀의 담배연기가 공기사이로 흩어질 때, 자살에는 부조금을 내도 되는거냐고 물었다. 목소리가 조금 떨리는 것은 기분탓이라고 생각했다. 노곤한 몸을 이끌고 문자메세지에 써 있는 장례식장으로 향한다. 며칠 전 그의 친구는 아이스 주스를 마시며 이번 시험은 잘 될것 같다고 웃었다. 여자친구도 슬슬 합격안하면 죽여버리겠다더라고. 야, 근데 넌 연애를 안해봐서 모르겠지만말야. 여자친구가 죽여버린다고 할때는 종종 죽여준다니까. 하고 시시덕대었다. 장례식장에는 얼굴을 본 적 없는 여자친구의 그림자조차 없다. 장례식장의 길목에는 커다란 화환들이 있다. 그러나 유독 그의 빈소에는 그런 것들이 없다. 검은 옷을 장례식장에서 빌려입고 나서야 죽음이 현실로 다가온다. 10만원은 너무 적었던 것은 아닐까. 그와 나의 인연은 중학교로 거슬러 올라간다. 그는 중학교때부터 허풍이 심했다. 자다 깨서 도둑을 때려잡았다는 둥, 다른 동네의 일진을 싸워 이겼다는 둥, 어떤 여자애가 좋다고 쫒아다닌다는 둥, 무슨 게임의 랭킹이 수위라는 둥.. 그런 그를 구라쟁이라며 싫어하는 아이들도 많았지만, 나는 그런 그의 허풍이 싫지 않았다. 사춘기가 대체 언제 오는지 궁금해하다 사춘기가 끝나버린 내게 그는 끊임없이 다른 삶의 형태를 보여주곤 했다. 즐거운, 인연이었다. 과거형으로 그를 이야기 하기 위해 부조금을 넣고 절을 하였다. 와주셔서 고맙습니다. 나는 그저 몇 마디 통념적인 인사를 마치고 나왔다. 빈소에는 외로움이 진하게 눌려앉아있다. 그와는 가장 멀어보였던 단어였다. 진실을 묻는 것이 좋았을까. 빌린 옷을 반납하고 옷을 갈아입었다. 그의 죽음에 10만원과 15분의 시간을 남긴 것은 무례한 일이 아닐까. 차가운 밤 공기를 폐부 깊이 들이마셨다. 그의 거짓들은 무엇이었을까. 자신을 지극히 사랑해주는 여자친구, 사회에 대한 열정적이고 뜨거운 시선, 사람을 애정깊게 바라보고 언제나 자신감있게 현실을 받아들였던. 잘 하고 있다고, 힘들지 않다고 활짝 웃던 그의 거짓말들이 줄줄이 머리속을 떠돈다. 정말로 불의의 사고는 자살이라는 뜻일까? 어쩌면 진짜 불의의 사고일지도 모른다. 불의의 사고로 죽는 것이 훨씬 잘 어울릴 친구였다. 그의 죽음이 자살이라면 마지막까지 그는 거짓말을 한 셈이고, 그의 죽음이 사고사라면 마지막으로 그의 진실과 마주한 셈이다. 허나 왜, 라는 질문을 하기에는 물을 이가 없었다. 없어, 졌다. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 3
이 게시판에 등록된 nickyo님의 최근 게시물
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32686 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
32686 class='vcm '>
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Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
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32686'> 린
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16/02/28 23:49
32686>삭제 주소복사
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홍차넷의 게시글에는 추천을 할 수 있는 기능이 있다. 그리고 그 기능에는 몇 마디의 제한적인 코멘트를 남길 수가 있는데 일반적인 댓글과 달리 글쓴이의 익명을 활용할 수 있어 어떠한 책임없이 일정의 영향력이 발생할 여지가 있는 권리를 행사할 수 있다. 이를 이용하면 오늘날 대개의 \"오그라듦\"에서 유예되어 흡사 \"김구라의 일침\"이란 외견상의 청량-속시원함(톡)으로 무엇인가를 아무 것도 아닌 것(메세지)으로 만들 수 있다. 이것은 발목잡기-격하쇼일까, 모두가 격상할 유예의 기다림일까. 잘 모르겠지만 하나 알겠는 것은 보이든, 보여... 더 보기
홍차넷의 게시글에는 추천을 할 수 있는 기능이 있다. 그리고 그 기능에는 몇 마디의 제한적인 코멘트를 남길 수가 있는데 일반적인 댓글과 달리 글쓴이의 익명을 활용할 수 있어 어떠한 책임없이 일정의 영향력이 발생할 여지가 있는 권리를 행사할 수 있다. 이를 이용하면 오늘날 대개의 \"오그라듦\"에서 유예되어 흡사 \"김구라의 일침\"이란 외견상의 청량-속시원함(톡)으로 무엇인가를 아무 것도 아닌 것(메세지)으로 만들 수 있다. 이것은 발목잡기-격하쇼일까, 모두가 격상할 유예의 기다림일까. 잘 모르겠지만 하나 알겠는 것은 보이든, 보여지든 보이는 건 역시 중요하다. 얼마나의 시간은 중요하지 않지만 신경쓰인다. 15주차이든, 16주차이든- 어쩌면 진실이 무엇이든. 그래서 이 아무 것도 아닐 메세지의 외견상의 허울 어린 얼마나의 시간-댓글의 맹랑한 길이가 익명의 권리로부터 벗어나 일반의 체온이나마 전할 수 있었으면 좋겠다. 유예는, 이런 기다림은 기껍다. 잘 보았고 또한 더, 그뿐이다.
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