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홍차넷
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티타임
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- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 519
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전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
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| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 16/02/17 12:48:44 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | 이젠늙었어 |
| Subject | (혐 주의) 담배 <2.875> |
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제 아내는 굉장한 미인입니다. 처음에 그녀가 제가 좋다며 저와 결혼하고 싶다고 했을 때 제 자신을 믿을 수 없을 정도였습니다. 저는 요즘말로 진짜 흙수저에 단신에 곱슬머리에 B 형에 홀어머니에 외아들인, 대부분의 여자들이 피하고자 하는 조건을 여럿 가진 남자였기 때문입니다. 그래서 저는 헉~ 소리 나게 아름다운 그녀를 처음 본 순간부터 그녀와 인연되어질 거라는 상상을 단 1g 도 하지 못했습니다. 물론 직장 동료로서 그녀와의 대화가 항상 즐겁고 그녀 또한 저와의 잡담을 즐기고 있다는것은 알고 있었습니다. 예를 들면, 다른 여자분과 저의 대화는 보통 이런 식이었습니다. '기차 레일 밑에 왜 자갈들이 있는지 알아요?' '(뭐래?) 몰라요.' '레일 위에 있으면 기차가 못다니잖아요. 그래서...' '그렇군요.' 침묵.... '날씨 좋네요.' '지금 비오는데요?' 침묵... 혹은 '바늘로 코끼리를 죽이는 방법 세 가지 알아요?' '아, 제가 좀 바빠서... (자리를 뜬다)' 그런데 그녀와의 대화는 이랬습니다. '산토끼의 반대말이 뭐게요?' '음~ 집토끼는 아니겠고... 죽은토끼?' '아뇨. 바다토끼.' '꺄르륵~ 죽은토끼나 알칼리토끼도 답이 될 수 있겠네요. 그럼 이젠 산낚지의 반대말에 대해서 얘기해봐요.' 이런식으로 대화가 꼬리를 물고 몇 시간이나 계속될 수 있었습니다. 참 신기한 일이었죠. 하지만 서로 이야기를 주고받고 하는게 재밌다고 저를 사랑하며 결혼하길 원한다는건 꿈도 꾸지 못했습니다. 하지만 결국 그녀는 집안의 극심한 반대를 무릅쓰고 저와의 결혼을 쟁취했죠. 제 인생에 일어난 가장 큰 기적이었습니다. 제 아내는 저를 정말로 사랑합니다. 아내와 결혼한지 20여년이 흘렀습니다. 아내는 아직도 저를 사랑합니다. 저를 바라보는 아내의 눈빛, 저를 대하는 아내의 태도, 제게 소곤대는 아내의 목소리, 제 말을 주의깊게 경청하며 저를 그윽히 바라보는 그녀의 시선에서 저에 대한 정말 큰 사랑을 느낍니다. 하지만 왜 일까요? 언젠가 물어본 적이 있습니다. '내가 왜 그렇게 좋아? '사랑하니까.' '같은말 아냐? 그러니까 왜 사랑해?' '변하지 않으니까, 결혼 전이나 후나 한결같아서.' 뭔가 계속 쳇바퀴 돌면서 본질에 접근하지 못하는 답입니다. 물어볼 때마다 사실은 그녀가 저를 좋아할 이유가 하나도 없다는 사실을 깨우치게 만들것 같아서 더 깊이 물어보진 못하고 있습니다. 하지만 그녀가 저를 사랑하는 이유에 대한 유력한 가설이 하나 있습니다. 하드코어 무신론자인 저와는 달리 아내는 종교가 있습니다. 그런데 그 종교는 많은 신도를 거느린게 아닌 그녀만의 것입니다. 우리나라의 토착 종교 10% 쯤과 불교 50% 그리고 인도의 힌두이즘이 40% 쯤 섞인 요상한 것입니다. 모든 생명체는 윤회의 고리에 갇혀 있고 현세의 업 KARMA 에 따라서 다음 생이 결정된다는 것이죠. 물론 최종적인 목표는 이 윤회의 고리에서 탈출하는 것이고요. 연애할 때 그녀가 '오늘밤 우리집에 아무도 없어. 놀러 와.' 를 시전했을 때 그녀 방의 책꽂이에 요가 수련법이니 무슨 요기니 구루니 명상법이니 하는 책들을 봤으니 그녀만의 이러한 세계관은 꽤 뿌리가 깊은 것입니다. 요즘도 그녀의 소원중 하나는 이미 작고한 인도의 어떤 정신수련 지도자가 남서부 인도에 세운 공동체 마을에서 수련하며 생활해 보는 것입니다. 불교에서 업을 쌓는 간단한 방법중 하나로써 방생이라는게 있습니다. 힌두교의 나라 인도에는 이와 유사한 업을 쌓는 다양한 방법이 존재합니다. 큰 호수를 낀 어떤 마을은 마을사람 전체가 호수의 메기떼에게 먹을것을 주며 업을 쌓고 있습니다. 쥐를 숭배하는 인도 북서부의 어떤 도시에는 비카네르 까르니마타라는 쥐사원이 있는데요, 거기엔 25년간 쥐에게 먹을것을 주고 쥐들이 먹다 남긴 것을 먹으며 업을 쌓는 구루가 있습니다. 바라나시의 갠지스 강에는 새벽마다 나룻배를 타고 나오는 부인이 있습니다. 그리고 곧 시끄러운 갈매기들이 그 나룻배를 뒤덮고 그녀는 그 새들에게 먹이를 주기 시작합니다. 이게 그녀만의 좋은 업을 만드는 방법이며 20년째 하루도 안거르고 하는 의식입니다. 혹시 제 아내는, 그녀가 아니었으면 평생 독신으로 늙어 죽을것이 틀림 없는 저같은 남자를 골라서, 평생 진심토록 사랑하는걸로 인해 현생의 카르마를 쌓고자 한게 아닐까요? 그녀는 매일매일 저를 보시의 대상으로서 보는게 아닐까요? 현재 제가 가지고 있는 유력한 가설입니다. 이런들 어떻고 저런들 어떻겠습니까. 저는 이미 인생의 내리막에 들어선 나이고 그동안 정말 행복했습니다. 사실 지금 당장 죽는다 하더라도 그리 안타까운 인생은 아닌듯 합니다. 그녀와 함께여서 정말 행복했고 행복한걸요. 아쉬움이 없습니다. 하지만 한 때 저는 아내를 심각하게 의심한 적이 있습니다. 정말 아내는 나를 사랑하는걸까? 혹시 완전히 무관심한건 아닐까? 이건 그냥 좋아하는 시늉에 불과한건 아닐까? 아무 남자라도 괜찮았던건 아닐까? 하고요. 그 느낌은 바로 담배를 끊기 시작했을때 불현듯 다가왔습니다. (3부에 계속) Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 7
이 게시판에 등록된 이젠늙었어님의 최근 게시물 |
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Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 429
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 599
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 599
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 600
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 600
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 614
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 616
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 620
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 640
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
31680 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
31680 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
31680'> NF140416
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
16/02/17 12:51
31680>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
혹시 다음편은 <2.9375>인가요?
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
31680>
31680>
