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홍차넷
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티타임
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- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 519
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전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
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Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 2
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/memo_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 10
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| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 15/12/03 08:23:48 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | 범준 |
| Subject | [조각글 6주차] 행복을 팝니다. |
|
범준(손범준) [6주차] 행복을 팝니다. 산문 1. 혼자 사는 여자/남자의 집에서 물건이 하나 둘씩 사라지는 상황을 모티프(모티브)로 콩트 쓰기. 2. '바다와 거울'을 제목으로 두 사람이 주고 받는 편지 형식의 소설쓰기. 운문 1. 편의점을 모티프(모티브)로 '뼈'와 '식물'이 들어가게 글쓰기. 2. '구경꾼'을 시제로 자유롭기 시 쓰기 - 가급적 산문은 2~3천자 운문은 1천자 내외로 쓴다. - 제시된 4가지 조건 중 일택해서 글을 쓴다. - 모티프와 모티브는 엄격하게 구분하지 않는다. - 제시된 문제(조건)는 동국대, 서울예대 2016학년도 기출문제이며 따라서 저작권도 해당 대학에 있다. *부연 설명 모티프 : 하나의 이야기를 구성하는데 중요한 요소 모티브 : 어떤 행동에 대한 동기나 원인 내지는 어떠한 글에 대한 출발점 맞춤법 검사기 http://speller.cs.pusan.ac.kr/PnuSpellerISAPI_201504/ 선택한 주제 편의점을 모티프(모티브)로 '뼈'와 '식물'이 들어가게 글쓰기. 합평 받고 싶은 부분 본문 우리 집 맞은편엔 편의점이 있습니다. 첫눈을 맞은 듯한 새하이안 지붕아래 투명한 통유리 안에 그 속이 비춰집니다. 과자와 컵라면이 여기저기 가득하고 보라색 유니폼에 눈웃음 띄는 직원들이 여느 편의점과 다르지 않아보입니다. 그런데 초록색, 한쪽에서 시선을 잡아끕니다. 사실 저 곳은 동네에서 유명합니다. 직접 키운 식물들을 팔거든요. 저도 몇 번 가본 적이 있습니다. 항상 인사는 '행복을 팝니다' 였습니다. 입구부터 은은하게 라벤더향이 납니다. 솔향같은 내음새는 로즈마리입니다. 그렇지만 팔리는건 선인장이 최곱니다. 엄마는 저기서 시금치를 사오시고는, '시금치를 먹어야 뼈가 튼튼해져' 저는 한껏 입이 튀어나오지만 그날 저녁은 삼겹살을 구워먹습니다. 상추와 깻잎을 사오는 건 제 몫입니다. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 0 |
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Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant grant_delete - assumed 'grant_delete' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 425
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Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 605
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Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
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Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 616
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 620
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 640
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 22
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
24367 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
24367 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
24367'> 얼그레이
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
15/12/03 19:04
24367>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
일상을 담은 시네요. 소소한 일상을 담은 풍경에 미소가 저절로 지어집니다. 귀여워요!
~니다. 로 끝나면서 운율감도 들어 고개를 까딱거리면서 읽게 됩니다.
의식의 흐름처럼 잡아낸 것이 이 시의 매력인 반면에, 주제를 생각하면 주제의 조건에 따라 전개되는 글인 것 같아 아쉬웠습니다.
그 조건에 따라 전개되는 시선의 흐름도 매끄럽지 않아 아쉬웠습니다.
2연에서
보라색과 초록색이 보색 대비되어 색채감 있게 보였던 것은 좋았으나
초록색이 무엇을 지칭하는지 다소 어려워서 여러번 읽어보았는데도 잘 모르겠습니다.ㅠㅠ
오독일지 모르... 더 보기
~니다. 로 끝나면서 운율감도 들어 고개를 까딱거리면서 읽게 됩니다.
의식의 흐름처럼 잡아낸 것이 이 시의 매력인 반면에, 주제를 생각하면 주제의 조건에 따라 전개되는 글인 것 같아 아쉬웠습니다.
그 조건에 따라 전개되는 시선의 흐름도 매끄럽지 않아 아쉬웠습니다.
2연에서
보라색과 초록색이 보색 대비되어 색채감 있게 보였던 것은 좋았으나
초록색이 무엇을 지칭하는지 다소 어려워서 여러번 읽어보았는데도 잘 모르겠습니다.ㅠㅠ
오독일지 모르... 더 보기
일상을 담은 시네요. 소소한 일상을 담은 풍경에 미소가 저절로 지어집니다. 귀여워요!
~니다. 로 끝나면서 운율감도 들어 고개를 까딱거리면서 읽게 됩니다.
의식의 흐름처럼 잡아낸 것이 이 시의 매력인 반면에, 주제를 생각하면 주제의 조건에 따라 전개되는 글인 것 같아 아쉬웠습니다.
그 조건에 따라 전개되는 시선의 흐름도 매끄럽지 않아 아쉬웠습니다.
2연에서
보라색과 초록색이 보색 대비되어 색채감 있게 보였던 것은 좋았으나
초록색이 무엇을 지칭하는지 다소 어려워서 여러번 읽어보았는데도 잘 모르겠습니다.ㅠㅠ
오독일지 모르겠으나 \'동네에서 유명한\' 저 곳이 꽃집인 것 같습니다.
라벤더향도 풍기고, 로즈마리와 선인장이 팔리는 곳을 보아하니 꽃집인데..
시금치를 파는건 처음 들어서요...ㅠㅠ
\'뼈\'를 넣기 위한 구절이었던 것 같다는 생각이 듭니다.
지금은 일상만을 그리는 시다보니, 화자의 심정이 조금 더 드러났으면 좋겠다는 생각이 듭니다.
제목이 \'행복을 팝니다\'인데 그 내요잉 중점적이지 않아서요.
행복을 파는 곳인데, 그 주인은 행복한지, 아니면 그 가게에 들리는 사람(혹은 화자)들이 행복한지 아닌지를 중점적으로 생각하다보면 그쪽 방향으로 방향을 잡을 수도 있을거라고 생각합니다.
저는 요즘 밖에서 사먹는 일이 많다보니 제가 만약 시 속의 편의점에 있었고, 화자의 기억을 가지고 있다면
편의점에서 어떤 이유로 끼니를 때우다가 꽃집(추정)을 바라보며 삼겹살을 구워먹을 때 들렸던 과거를 회상하면서 저곳으로 가면 행복을 살 수 있는지 생각했을 것 같다는 생각을 해보았습니다.
가끔 집에 안 들어가기 싫은데 막상 주머니에 돈이 없을 때 잠깐을 때우기 위해 편의점을 이용하기도 하구요. 그런식으로 서성이는 화자를 그려보면 시의 분위기는 무척 다르겠지만 다른 방향으로도 글을 쓸 수 있지 않았을까 하는 생각이듭니다.
범준님의 글을 보니 제 시나 그런식으로 써볼걸 하는 생각이 드네요..쥬륵..
좋은 시 감사합니다.
수능 끝나고 요즘 마무리하느라 정신없으실텐데 짬내서 올려주셔서 감사합니다.
주제를 고르는 재미도 있었어요! 좋은 주제 내주셔서 감사합니다.
다음 글도 기대하고 있겠습니다. :)
~니다. 로 끝나면서 운율감도 들어 고개를 까딱거리면서 읽게 됩니다.
의식의 흐름처럼 잡아낸 것이 이 시의 매력인 반면에, 주제를 생각하면 주제의 조건에 따라 전개되는 글인 것 같아 아쉬웠습니다.
그 조건에 따라 전개되는 시선의 흐름도 매끄럽지 않아 아쉬웠습니다.
2연에서
보라색과 초록색이 보색 대비되어 색채감 있게 보였던 것은 좋았으나
초록색이 무엇을 지칭하는지 다소 어려워서 여러번 읽어보았는데도 잘 모르겠습니다.ㅠㅠ
오독일지 모르겠으나 \'동네에서 유명한\' 저 곳이 꽃집인 것 같습니다.
라벤더향도 풍기고, 로즈마리와 선인장이 팔리는 곳을 보아하니 꽃집인데..
시금치를 파는건 처음 들어서요...ㅠㅠ
\'뼈\'를 넣기 위한 구절이었던 것 같다는 생각이 듭니다.
지금은 일상만을 그리는 시다보니, 화자의 심정이 조금 더 드러났으면 좋겠다는 생각이 듭니다.
제목이 \'행복을 팝니다\'인데 그 내요잉 중점적이지 않아서요.
행복을 파는 곳인데, 그 주인은 행복한지, 아니면 그 가게에 들리는 사람(혹은 화자)들이 행복한지 아닌지를 중점적으로 생각하다보면 그쪽 방향으로 방향을 잡을 수도 있을거라고 생각합니다.
저는 요즘 밖에서 사먹는 일이 많다보니 제가 만약 시 속의 편의점에 있었고, 화자의 기억을 가지고 있다면
편의점에서 어떤 이유로 끼니를 때우다가 꽃집(추정)을 바라보며 삼겹살을 구워먹을 때 들렸던 과거를 회상하면서 저곳으로 가면 행복을 살 수 있는지 생각했을 것 같다는 생각을 해보았습니다.
가끔 집에 안 들어가기 싫은데 막상 주머니에 돈이 없을 때 잠깐을 때우기 위해 편의점을 이용하기도 하구요. 그런식으로 서성이는 화자를 그려보면 시의 분위기는 무척 다르겠지만 다른 방향으로도 글을 쓸 수 있지 않았을까 하는 생각이듭니다.
범준님의 글을 보니 제 시나 그런식으로 써볼걸 하는 생각이 드네요..쥬륵..
좋은 시 감사합니다.
수능 끝나고 요즘 마무리하느라 정신없으실텐데 짬내서 올려주셔서 감사합니다.
주제를 고르는 재미도 있었어요! 좋은 주제 내주셔서 감사합니다.
다음 글도 기대하고 있겠습니다. :)
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