Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 278
홍차넷
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 34
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 45
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 47
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 51
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 237
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 34
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 45
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 47
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 51
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 237
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/zero_header.php on line 269
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/zero_header.php on line 300
Warning: Use of undefined constant title - assumed 'title' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 16
질문
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 21
Warning: Use of undefined constant header - assumed 'header' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 31
- 질문 게시판입니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 519
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_category - assumed 'use_category' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/include/print_category.php on line 9
전체기타게임진로연애가정/육아체육/스포츠교육의료/건강철학/종교IT/컴퓨터여행과학문화/예술법률홍차넷경제
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/setup.php on line 29
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/setup.php on line 41
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 398
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 2
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/memo_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 10
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_category - assumed 'use_category' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 40
| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 23/03/08 16:50:54 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | [익명] |
| Subject | 대화할때 고민이 있습니다 |
|
실생활중 제가 특정이 될 수 있어서.. 익명 처리합니다.. 대화를 할때 제대로 된 전후사정을 이야기 하지 않으면 짜증이납니다. 예를들면 이런겁니다. A : 오늘 늦어가지고 짜증이 났어 나 : (아침 출근이 늦었다는 건지, 저녁 운동시간에 지각을 했다는 건지, 택배주문한게 늦었다는건지 뭔이야기지..?) 뭐가 늦었다는 거야? A : 아침에 출근 시간에 지각을 해서 민망했어 나 : 아 그렇구나. (근데 왜 늦은 건지 원인을 안하네. 그냥 '짜증났겠다' 라고 대답해주고 끝내야하나? 그럼 그냥 건성으로 대화한다고 짜증날래나? 그러면 왜 늦었는지 물어봐야겠네) 아침에 늦게 일어난거야? A : 그게 아니고 차가 많이 막히더라고 나 : 아 그렇구나 일찍 일어났는데 차가 막혀서 늦어서 짜증이 난거구나? 뭐 사고가 났나? A : 글쎄 그건 모르겠네? 나 : 그렇구나.. 근데 회사에서 왜 짜증났어? A : 그냥 뭐라 하는 사람은 없는데 눈치보이더라고 나 : 그렇구나 눈치보여서 짜증이 났구나.. (그러면 어떻게 해결해야 하나) 그럼 앞으로는 좀더 여유있게 일찍 일어나야 하나? A : 아니 그런건 아니고 그냥 뭐 오늘은 어쩔수 없지 나 : 그러게 그런일이 있네.. 이런식의 대화입니다. A는 본인의 감정을 먼저 이야기 하는데 저는 전후사정을 알아야 공감을 하던 이야기를 이어나갈텐데 하나하나 추리하듯 물어야 하는 대화가 반복됩니다. 그러다 보니 뭔가 신나서 대화하는게 아니라 계속 제가 캐묻고 대답을 듣고 하는 과정에서 진이 빠진다고 해야 할까요...? 저 자신도 다른사람 말에 엄청난 공감이나 리액션을 해주는 사람이 아니라서 이런식의 대화가 어렵습니다. 반면에 저는 주로 상황을 모두 설명하고 제 감정을 이야기 하는 편입니다. 예를들면. 나 : 오늘 제시간에 출근버스를 탔는데 사고가 난건지 엄청 막히더라? 그래가지고 회사 늦어가지고 민망해서 짜증나더라고. 라는 식으로 전후사정을 나름 이야기 하고 내 감정을 이야기해서 상대에게 내 상황을 이해시키려는 타입입니다. 상대가 최대한 내 상황을 이해하게끔 하려고 정보를 모두 전달하죠. 그러다보니 A라는 사람은 제가 말하는 내용에 대해서 막힘없이 이해를 하고 대화를 하는 것 같습니다. 하지만 저도 사람인지라 상대가 모를만한 내용을 빼고 A의 대화법과 비슷하게 대화할 때도 있습니다. 근데 A는 저처럼 피곤하거나 짜증나는 기색없이 본인이 이해를 하기위한 내용을 계속해서 묻고 이해하고 공감하려고 하더군요. 그런 A를 보면서 '아 내가 이기적인건가? 왜 나는 이런 대화를 피곤하고 힘들어하지?' 라고 생각하게 되었습니다. 대화할때 제 스스로 '아 피곤하다' 라고 느끼는 포인트가 있다면 참고 개선하려고 노력해야 하는 걸까요? 다소 고민이 좀 모호하고 명확하지 않지만.. 뭔가 내가 대화할때 개선해야겠다 라고 막연히 고민이 되어서 질문 올려봅니다.. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 0 |
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Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 185
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_comment - assumed 'use_comment' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 540
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 542
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 543
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 545
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 576
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant grant_delete - assumed 'grant_delete' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 429
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 599
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 599
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 600
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 600
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 614
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 616
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 620
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 640
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 22
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
133245 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
133245 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
133245'> CheesyCheese
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
23/03/08 17:03
133245>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
저도 글쓴분과 같은 대화전개에 피곤함을 느끼는 타입입니다. 근데 이건 정상 비정상을 떠나서 사람 성향상 어쩔 수 없는 부분인것 같습니다. 솔직히 말하면 저는 제 이런 성향을 누군가 비정상이라고 한들 별 타격 없습니다. 의학적으로 정신병으로 분류되거나 법적으로 장애인으로 분류되지만 않으면 된다고 생각합니다.
그리고 대부분 예시들어주신 내용처럼 대화하는 사람들은 공감해주는것을 원하더라구요. 그래서 저는 예시와 같이 대화가 이어질때는 '그러면 어떻게 해결해야 하나' 이 부분을 굳이 이야기하지 않습니다.
대처방법은 크게 두가지인... 더 보기
그리고 대부분 예시들어주신 내용처럼 대화하는 사람들은 공감해주는것을 원하더라구요. 그래서 저는 예시와 같이 대화가 이어질때는 '그러면 어떻게 해결해야 하나' 이 부분을 굳이 이야기하지 않습니다.
대처방법은 크게 두가지인... 더 보기
저도 글쓴분과 같은 대화전개에 피곤함을 느끼는 타입입니다. 근데 이건 정상 비정상을 떠나서 사람 성향상 어쩔 수 없는 부분인것 같습니다. 솔직히 말하면 저는 제 이런 성향을 누군가 비정상이라고 한들 별 타격 없습니다. 의학적으로 정신병으로 분류되거나 법적으로 장애인으로 분류되지만 않으면 된다고 생각합니다.
그리고 대부분 예시들어주신 내용처럼 대화하는 사람들은 공감해주는것을 원하더라구요. 그래서 저는 예시와 같이 대화가 이어질때는 '그러면 어떻게 해결해야 하나' 이 부분을 굳이 이야기하지 않습니다.
대처방법은 크게 두가지인데..
1. 건성으로 대화해도 되는 사람이면 '회사에서 지각해서 짜증났구나' 하고 대충 대화를 끝내버려서 '이놈은 공감해주는 대화를 못하는구나 앞으로는 이놈한텐 이런이야기 안해야겠다' 라는 생각을 심어줘서 추후 피곤한 상황을 없애버립니다.
2. 상대의 의도대로 해줘야 되는 상황이면 해결책을 되묻거나 제시하기보다는 '많이 짜증이 났겠구나' 한 뒤 '나 같아도 그랬을 것 같아' 혹은 '나는 무신경해서 그런거 1도 신경안쓰는데 넌 참 주변에 신경을 많이 쓰는구나' 이런 식으로 대화를 이어갑니다. 물론 저는 처음 밝혔듯 2와 같은 대화전개방식을 매우 싫어하는 사람이기 때문에 제가 2번처럼 대응하는 사람은 정말 극소수입니다.
그리고 대부분 예시들어주신 내용처럼 대화하는 사람들은 공감해주는것을 원하더라구요. 그래서 저는 예시와 같이 대화가 이어질때는 '그러면 어떻게 해결해야 하나' 이 부분을 굳이 이야기하지 않습니다.
대처방법은 크게 두가지인데..
1. 건성으로 대화해도 되는 사람이면 '회사에서 지각해서 짜증났구나' 하고 대충 대화를 끝내버려서 '이놈은 공감해주는 대화를 못하는구나 앞으로는 이놈한텐 이런이야기 안해야겠다' 라는 생각을 심어줘서 추후 피곤한 상황을 없애버립니다.
2. 상대의 의도대로 해줘야 되는 상황이면 해결책을 되묻거나 제시하기보다는 '많이 짜증이 났겠구나' 한 뒤 '나 같아도 그랬을 것 같아' 혹은 '나는 무신경해서 그런거 1도 신경안쓰는데 넌 참 주변에 신경을 많이 쓰는구나' 이런 식으로 대화를 이어갑니다. 물론 저는 처음 밝혔듯 2와 같은 대화전개방식을 매우 싫어하는 사람이기 때문에 제가 2번처럼 대응하는 사람은 정말 극소수입니다.
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