Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 278
홍차넷
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Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 47
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 51
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 237
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 34
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Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 237
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/zero_header.php on line 269
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/zero_header.php on line 300
Warning: Use of undefined constant title - assumed 'title' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 16
티타임
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 21
Warning: Use of undefined constant header - assumed 'header' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 31
- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 519
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_category - assumed 'use_category' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/include/print_category.php on line 9
전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
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Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 2
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/memo_replace.php on line 3
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| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 19/03/04 23:10:43 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | 멍청똑똑이 |
| File #1 | KakaoTalk_20190304_183535850.jpg (1.44 MB), Download : 8 |
| Subject | 가난한 마음은 늘 가성비를 찾았다 |
 노량진은 내게 특별한 거리다. 재수를 할 때도, 취업준비를 할 때도, 첫 사랑이라 부를 만한 사람을 만난 것도 모두 이 거리에서 일어났다. 값 싼 학원비, 값 싼 먹거리, 값 싼 유흥거리. 많은 것들이 제 것에 비해 가격이 싼 거리였고, 주머니가 가벼운 이에게 이 거리는 최소한의 낭만을 누릴 수 있게 옹기종기 잘 짜여져 있었다. 늘 바글바글한 수험생들로 가득찼던 거리에 굳이 연차를 내가며 갔던 이유는, 한 번쯤 되돌아오고 싶었기 때문이다. 일을 하고 돈을 버는 입장에서 돌아온 거리에는 생각보다 사람이 별로 없었다. 노량진의 평일은 늘 복작대고 바글댔었던 것 같은데. 공무원 시험도 4월쯤에 있지 않나. 고개를 갸우뚱하며 거리를 살폈다. 미세먼지 속을 덜렁거리며 걷다가 노량진 역 지하 푸드코트 입구가 보여 내려가 봤다. 늘 식사시간 전후에는 사람이 가득 차서 자리를 찾아 앉기가 어려웠던 기억이 난다. 푸드코트에는 카페도 있고 쌈밥집도 있고 뷔페도 있고 돈까스집도 있고 중화요리집도 있고, 그야말로 푸드코트라고 부를만 했다. 주머니가 얇았던 시절 이 곳에서 연인과 종종 식사를 하곤 했었는데, 그 넓은 노량진에서도 가장 밥값이 싼 곳이었다. 생각해보면, 그 때에도 소일거리를 통해 월 4~50만원의 소비여력은 있었다. 지금 그 때보다 돈을 더 많이 벌지만, 지금도 월에 쓸 수 있는 돈은 6~70만원 선이다. 나머지는 잡다한 비용과 대출의 상환에 들어간다. 나는 정말로 가난했던 걸까? 늘 수시로 통잔잔고를 체크하며 두려운 마음을 한 켠에 품고 싼 곳만, 혹은 싼 데 비교적 괜찮더라 하는 곳만 다니면서 늘 가성비를 따졌던 나는 정말로 가난했기에 그랬던 걸까. 돌이켜보면, 나는 돈이 없는 것도 있었지만 그보다는 마음이 훨씬 더 가난했던 것 같다. 신촌, 홍대, 연남, 강남, 건대 등 서울의 화려하고 반짝이는 젊음의 거리를 나는 오랫동안 기피했다. 특히 예쁘게 꾸며지고 개성있는, 비교적 고급스러운 것들이 늘어져 있는 거리가 싫었다. 싫은 이유는 자명했다. 그 거리에 내가 어울리지 않는다는 마음이 깊이 있었기 때문이다. 왁자지껄하고, 화려하고, 여유있고, 낭만적인. 실제로 그들이 부유하든 그렇지 않든, 그렇게 마음 가는 대로 즐길 수 있는 그 여유가 내게는 없었다. 특별히 그런 것과 거리를 둔다고 달라지는 것도 없었지만, 그럴때면 나는 다른 이유들을 변명삼고는 했다. 그래서 나는 노량진이 편했다. 서울 도시 한 켠에 자리한 협곡과도 같은 동네. 저마다의 이유로 절벽을 기어오르는 동네. 여기에서는 가난도, 추례함도, 두려움도 적당히 감싸지는 그런 동네. 필사적인 사람들이 모여 살면서도, 그렇기에 한 숨 돌리기도 좋았던 동네. 나는 가난한 마음을 마주하지 못했고, 내가 마음 편할 수 있는 곳들에 집착했다. 새로운 것을 시작하기보다 익숙한 것들만을 손에서 놓지 않았고, 변할 수 있는 기회들은 흘려보냈다. 많은 사람들이 손 쉽게 낭만을 누릴 때, 나는 늘 값에 비해 무엇이 나은지 무엇이 더 싼지를 늘 따져가며 보냈다. 진짜로 원하는 것이 아니었을지라도 몇 걸음을 양보해가며. 오랜만에 온 푸드코트에는 많은 식당들이 사라졌다. 위생의 문제일수도있고, 사업상의 부진일수도있다. 노량진의 수험생인구가 줄어들며 많은 수험생 대상 가게들 역시 영업을 종료하고 있다고 들었다. 비슷한 이유일지도 모르겠다. 겨우 남은 가게에서 밥을 먹었다. 한 입 넣는 순간 잔반을 남길 때 내는 벌금을 내더라도 음식을 버리고 싶었다. 이렇게 심하게 맛이 없었나? 식재료에서는 안 좋은 맛이 났고, 마르고 딱딱했다. 정말 안 좋은 재료들로 겨우 구색을 맞추어, 먹었다는 것에 의의를 두는 식사처럼 느껴졌다. 전투식량을 우겨넣어도 이보다는 차라리 나을 것이라고 자조했다. 이런 곳에서마저 몇 번이나 데이트를 했었다니. 새삼 다가오는 과거의 기억에 뒤통수가 아찔했다. 반 쯤 먹다 남긴 음식을 버렸다. 다행히 잔반을 위한 값을 내라는 말은 없었다. 조용히 역을 나와 몇 걸음을 더 빙빙 돌았다. 구석구석에 숨은 카페와, 노래방과, 피시방. 술집. 꽃집. 모텔. 책방. 만화방. 디비디방. 문구점. 체육관. 공원. 고기집... 발걸음이 닿았던 곳곳에 사라진 곳도, 바뀐 곳도 제법 있었다. 무엇보다, 거리가 한산했다. 미세먼지 탓인가. 그럴 수도 있고, 아닐 수도 있을 것 같았다. 한 층 느긋한 기분으로 노량진을 크게 두어 바퀴 돌고, 집에 가는 지하철을 타려 내려왔다. 그 때에 비하면 지금은 가성비를 훨씬 따지지 않게 되었다. 크게 바뀐게 있다면 회사를 다닌다는 것 하나 뿐인데. 그렇다고 쓸 수 있는 돈이 잔뜩 늘어난 것도 아닌데. 노량진의 거리가 변하고, 많은 가게들이 사라지고 바뀐 것 만큼, 고작 일이년 사이에 나 역시 빠르게 바뀌어가고 있었다. 좋은 방향인지, 나쁜 방향인지는 모르겠지만 비로소, 이제는 굳이 일부러 오지는 않겠다는 싶은 마음이 가슴 깊숙한 곳에서 올라왔다. 그 시절의 내게는 어쩐지 대차게 살라며 뒤통수를 때려주고 싶어졌다. 좀 없어도, 막 쓰고. 염치 좀 없어도 되고. 뻔뻔하고 제 멋대로 뭐가 합당한지 그래도 되는지 따지지 말고 좀 낭만적으로 사고치면서 보내라고. 어차피 돌아갈 수 없는 시절이지만, 돈이 가난한 것 보다 마음이 가난했던 게 문제였다는걸. 씁쓸한 웃음은 노량진 역에 남겨두고 좋은 것들을 잔뜩 탐내고 싶은 기분으로 휴가를 마무리했다. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 43
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Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 185
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_comment - assumed 'use_comment' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 540
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 542
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 543
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 545
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 576
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Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant grant_delete - assumed 'grant_delete' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 425
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 429
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 599
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 599
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 600
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 600
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 614
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 616
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 620
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 640
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
121342 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
121342 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
121342'> kaestro
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
19/03/04 23:21
121342>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
마음이 가난해진다는게 무슨 말인지 알 것 같아요. 학식을 먹을 때 4천원짜리가 나오면 평소 먹는 3천원짜리보다 훨씬 나은데 그걸 시킬 때마다 갈등을 느끼게 되는게 저는 되게 스트레스 받더라구요...
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
121342>
121342>
