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홍차넷
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티타임
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- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 519
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_category - assumed 'use_category' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/include/print_category.php on line 9
전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
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| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 18/07/11 16:18:55 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | biangle |
| Subject | 갑질 |
|
사회 초년생 인턴. 한방병원 근무가 이제 5개월 정도. 슬슬 환자와 보호자들의 스트레스와 짜증에 무뎌져가고 있다고 생각해오고 있었다. 환자들을 많이 보다보면 환자가 통증에 절어있다는 사실에 점점 무감각해지고, 마음 깊은 곳에서는 '당신이 아프지, 내가 아프냐?' 하며 환자의 고통을 무시하게 된다. 그러면서도 겉으로는 공감하는 척, 안타까워 하는 척. 그렇게 매일을 반복하는 것이다. 통증이 지속되면, 환자들은 혹시 자신이 영구적인 손상을 입은 것은 아닌가 하는 걱정과 불안함을, 분노 혹은 짜증으로 표출하곤 한다. 그것을 받아내는 것은 모두 인턴이다. '내가 누굴 위해서 일하는 건데, 왜 나한테 갑질이야.'하고 항상 어금니를 꽉 깨물며 느꼈던 나의 감정 역시도 분노와 짜증이었다. 인턴은 시간이 없다. 언제나 병원 일에 치이는 것이 일상인데, 가끔 일에 치이지 않는 모습을 보이면 어김없이 새로운 일이 날아들기 때문이다. 고로 일이 없을 때는 일하는 척 하는 것이 일이다. 그렇게 5개월을 지나보내니, 안경도 새로 맞춰야 하고 은행 업무도 봐야 하고 부동산도 알아봐야 하는 식으로 이것저것 처리해야할 것들이 쌓여만 간다. 무엇도 마음대로 하질 못하니 분노만 속에 쌓여 부글부글한다. 빈 시간에 일하는 척 하며 보내는 시간엔 항상 짜증이 나고, 좌절감을 느낀다. 슬슬 병원 생활에 익숙해지며 자잘한 여유가 생긴다. 그동안 시간이 없어 쓰지 못한 돈을 좀 이제야 써보려는데, 이체 한도가 문제란다. 마이너스 통장을 개설하면서 소심하게 1회 이체 한도를 겨우 50만원으로 잡아두었다. 과거의 내가 서류를 똑바로 작성했더라면 지금의 나는 일 하나를 덜 수 있었을 거라 생각하니 또다시 짜증이 밀려온다. 점심 식사도 거르고 도착한 은행에선 번호표 기계 앞에 직원 한 명이 대기 중이다. 업무 유형에 맞춰 번호표를 뽑을 수도 있다는 걸 처음 알았다. 마이너스 통장이긴 한데 이체 한도만 늘리는 거라면 일반 창구가 맞을까? 대출 창구가 맞을까? 고민하던 차에 대기 중이던 직원이 살갑게 말을 걸어온다. 마이너스 통장 관련이시면 대출 창구로 가면 된다며 711번 번호표를 건네준다. 대기인원을 확인해보니 나까지 2명이다. '꽤 여유롭네. 담배나 한 대 피고 오면 다음 차례가 내가 되겠지'하며 건물 밖으로 나오려는데 대출 창구 번호가 바뀐다. 아뿔싸. 이제 바로 다음 사람이 내가 되어버렸다. 만약 지금 창구에 앉아있는 사람이 허무하게 1분만에 용건을 마쳐버리기라도 한다면 나는 다시 번호표를 뽑아야 하는 것이다. 금단증상인지 간질거리는 피부를 애써 무시하며 자리에 앉는다. 다시금 짜증이 밀려온다. 왜 내 인생은 제대로 풀리는 게 없지. 한참을 기다려도 앞 사람의 용건은 끝나질 않는다. 그냥 아까 잠깐 다녀올 걸 그랬나. 짜증이 올라오니 더욱 담배가 간절해지고, 담배가 간절해지는만큼 짜증이 생기는 악순환은 이미 시작되었다. 드디어 대출창구의 번호가 바뀌고, 711번의 차례가 되었다. 간단히 용건을 설명하며 창구 앞 의자에 앉으려는데, 단순히 이체 한도만 바꾸시는 거라면 일반 창구로 가시면 된단다. 순간 나도 모르게 '앞에서 이 쪽 번호표 뽑아주셔서요.'라고 퉁명스럽게 대꾸하며 다시 자리에서 일어난다. '다음 번호표를 뽑기 전에 담배나 한 대...' 하고 생각하며 자리를 뜨려는데 직원이 나를 잡는다. "아이구~ 그러셨으면 제가 처리해드릴게요~" 하고 구수하게 말을 거는 직원은 아무리 어리게 봐도 나보다 5살은 위다. 몇 군데 표시된 서류를 작성하고 나는, 짧게 남은 점심 시간동안 뭔가라도 먹어야 오후를 견딜 수 있다고 생각하며 주변 식당들을 떠올려본다. 맥도날드에 가서 간단히 해결하는 수밖에 없다는 생각에 또 짜증만 치밀어 오른다. 패스트푸드를 싫어하는 것은 아니지만, 아니 나는 맥도날드의 버거들은 항상 좋아해왔지만, 짜증을 내야하는 것 같아 짜증이 나는 것이다. 직원이 다시 말을 걸어온다. "봉직의세요?" "네." "어디서 일하세요?" "요 앞 한방병원요." "아~ 그러시구나~." 의례적으로 나누는 대화에도 짜증이 난다. 빨리 처리나 해주지. 이러다가 점심은 거르게 생겼네. "저희 지점에는 거래가 없으시네요~ 나중에 시간 많으실 때 적금이라도 한 번 생각해보세요~!" 쾌활하게 말을 거는 직원을 보는 내 표정은, 내가 직접 내 표정을 볼 수는 없었어도, 분명 오만상을 다 쓰는 찡그린 표정이었을 것이다. 그런 모습의 내게까지 적금을 권하는 직원의 모습을 보며 0.1초도 안 되는 짧은 순간 나는 이유를 알 수 없는 정복감이나 쾌감과 비슷한 어떤 이상한 희열에 휘말려버렸다. 내가 아무리 짜증을 내고 화를 내도, 이 직원은 내게 굴복할 수밖에 없다는 생각이었을까. 옳고 그름, 좋고 나쁨을 떠나 너무 생소하게 느껴지는 감정이었기에 나는 몇 번 고개를 휘젓고 말았다. 그리고 다시 또 생각이 밀려온다. '이렇게 갑질할 거면, 옆 한방병원 소속이라고 얘기할 걸. 병원에 찾아와서 깽판 치는 건 아니겠지? 그런데 나는 그냥 짜증이 좀 났을 뿐인데. 이것도 갑질일까? 어쩌면 내가 지금 하고 있는 생각도 내로남불은 아닐까? 이 사람도 분명 내가 일할 때처럼 짜증 가득한 마음이겠지?' 하는 와중에 서류 처리가 끝나버린다. "적금 하나 생각해보세요~" 하고 인사하는 직원을 뒤로한 채 은행 밖으로 나와 구석진 곳에서 담배 한 대를 꺼내물었다. 나는 대체 어떤 생각을 했길래 순간적으로라도 그런 말도 안 되는 감정을 느꼈던 것일까. 그동안 내가 감당해야했던 수많은 스트레스를 또다시 누군가에게 전가해버린 건 아닐까. 마치 내 안에 거대한 기생충이 꾸물대는 듯한 그런 느낌은 난생 처음 받아보는 기괴한 느낌이었다. 사실 이 감정이 나의 본성이었던 것은 아닐까.. 두 대째 불을 붙여 연기를 깊게 들이마셔도 영 맛이 없고 찝찝하기만 하다. 내안의 기생충과도 같은 맛이라, 나는 장초를 얼른 밟아끄고 병원으로 돌아와버렸다. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 9
이 게시판에 등록된 biangle님의 최근 게시물 |
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Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 640
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
108322 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
108322 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
108322'> 렐랴
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
18/07/11 16:26
108322>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
인턴때가 원래 힘들고 별 생각 다 들어요. 힘내세요. 예전 인턴 때 생각 나네요. 또하라고 한다면 결혼은 2번 해도 인턴은 2번 못할 것 같아요. 전공의 1년차 때정말 극악으로 이틀에 한 번 침대에 몸 뉘일 수 있을까 말까해도, 그때가 차라리 낫습니다. 1년만 버티면 되니 힘내시길.
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
108322>
108322>
