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홍차넷
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티타임
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- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
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전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
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| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 18/05/02 21:15:53 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 수정됨 |
| Name | 化神 |
| File #1 | 180303334.jpg (91.7 KB), Download : 4 |
| Subject | [서평] 혼자 있고 싶은데 외로운 건 싫어 - 피터 콜린스, 2018 |
 혼자 있고 싶은데 외로운 건 싫어 - 남들보다 내성적인 사람들을 위한 심리수업 나는 누구일까. 라는 생각을 안 하는 사람은 거의 없지 않을까. 때론 세상에서 나만 제일 특이한 것 같기도 하고 내가 세상에 적응 못하는 것 같기도 하고. 무리에서 나만 빼고 친한데 나만 어울리지 못하는 것 같고 다른 사람들에게 내가 필요하지 않은 것 같고. 20대 초반에 생각하기 시작했고 이러한 질문은 지금까지도 쿨타임되면 꼬박꼬박 내 머릿속에 등장한다. 다행히도 이러한 문제로 고민하는 사람이 나 뿐만은 아닌것 같다. 그래 나만 이상한 건 아니었구나. 하지만 아직까지 적절한 답은 못 찾았다. 그래도 최근에 이 질문에 대한 해답을 얻는데 도움이 될만한 책을 발견했다. 내성적이라는 말은 부정적으로 들린다. 소극적이거나 소심하거나, 사람들과 잘 어울리지 못하는 것처럼 보인다. 일부분은 그럴수 있다. 하지만 이것은 그들이 심리적으로 심약하기 때문이 아니라 그들의 관심이 본인 자신에게 더 많이 있기 때문이다. [피곤할 땐 어떻게 하고 싶은가? 친구들과 시간을 보내길 원하는가. 아니면 방에 혼자 틀어박히고 싶은가?] 이 질문이 성격의 본질을 파악하는 요소 중 하나로 쓰인다. 눈치가 빠른 이들은 이 질문에 대한 답을 어떻게 하는지에 따라 성격을 알 수 있을 것이다. 외향성과 내향성은 하나의 연속선이다. 그래서 나는 성격을 표현할 때 비율을 곁들인다. 나는 80% 정도의 외향성과 20% 정도의 내향성을 가졌다. 사람들을 만나는데 부담이 없고 외부 환경에 대해 민감하게 반응한다. 길을 걸어다닐 땐 주변 건물과 가게들을 기억하고 하고 사거리의 신호 체계를 파악한다. 그러한 일들을 나는 의식하지 않고 한다. 하지만 이런 이야기를 하자 다른 내향적인 사람들은 너무 이해하기 어렵다는 표정을 지었다. 외향적인 성격이 사회적으로는 유리해보이지만 이들은 오히려 혼자 있는 것을 잘 견디지 못한다. 혼자서 드라마를 보고 있다거나 하는 일은 그들에게는 너무 힘든 일이다. 혼자서 무엇인가를 하는 것을 선호하지 않는다. 그래서 때론 자기 자신이 반드시 해야만 하는 일들을 놓치기도 한다. 외향적인 사람들의 기본적인 특징은 1) 남과 어울리면서 에너지를 얻고 소통을 할수록 (주로 소통의 방향이 자신에게서 타인에게로 향하기는 하지만) 기운을 더 많이 충전한다. 2) 성격이 다른 사람과 소통하는 것을 좋아해서 소통에 대한 경험이 많고 그렇기 때문에 사회 활동에서 빛을 발하는 양의 피드백을 받는다. 3) 외향적인 사람이라고 항상 외향적인 것은 아니다. 때론 양향성(책에서 표현하고 있는 외향성과 내향성을 모두 가진 사람을 의미하는데 외향성과 내향성을 50% 씩 가지고 있는 성격이라고 보아야 한다.)을 가지고 있는 사람도 있다. 그 사람은 자기 자신의 관심사가 카페에서 자몽주스를 마시면서 책을 보는 것부터 길거리에서 기타리스트로 버스킹 하는 것까지 넓게 있다고 했다. 심지어 외향성을 충족시켜주는 행동을 하면 그 다음에는 내향성을 충족시켜주는 행동을 해야 마음이 편하다고 말했다. 내향적인 사람들은 사람들을 만나는 것이 휴식이고 즐거움이기 보다는 사회적인 활동이다. 외부로부터 발생하는 무수히 많은 자극을 처리해야 하는 힘든 과정이기도 하다. 소수의 정말 친한 사람과 어울리는 것을 더 선호하고 여러 사람과 두루두루 어울리는 것에 대해서는 별로 필요성을 못 느낀다. 그러다보니 사회성이 떨어지는 것은 아닐까 고민하기도 한다. 하지만 걱정할 것 없다. 앞서 말했듯 사람들은 어느정도의 외향성과 내향성을 가지고 있으며 자신의 성향을 잘 파악할 수록 자신의 성향의 장점을 잘 보일 수 있으니까. 이들은 신중하고 자신의 내적인 감정을 잘 파악한다. 자신의 감정 상태가 어떤지 파악하지 못해서 저지르는 일들이 많다는 사실을 고려하면 자신의 감정을 잘 파악한다는 것은 충동적인 행동을 하지 않게 만들어주는 좋은 장점이다. 내성적인 사람들을 위한 심리수업이라는 부제를 달고 있지만 내성적인 사람만을 위한 것은 아니다. 오히려 남들보다 외향적인 사람들에게도 자기 자신을 파악하는데 도움이 될만한 이야기이다. 내가 그랬다. 다른 사람들에게도 그랬으면 좋겠다. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 7 이 게시판에 등록된 化神님의 최근 게시물
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Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 620
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 640
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
103945 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
103945 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
103945'> 호라타래
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
18/05/02 21:55
103945>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
전 양향성이에요. 사람들을 만나고, 새로운 것을 경험하는 걸 무척 좋아라 하는데, 그 이후에는 혼자서 산책을 하거나 멍 때리면서 경험을 정돈할 시간이 필요해요. 그 이후에는 다시 또 정돈한 내용과 깨달음을 바탕으로 사람을 만나러 나가고 그럽니당
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
1
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
1
103945>
103945>
