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홍차넷
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티타임
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 21
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- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 519
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전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
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| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 15/05/30 08:19:03 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | DEICIDE |
| Subject | 살아오며 가장 부끄러운 일에 대하여 |
|
안녕하세요. 저에 대해 아시는 분들도 있겠지만 모르는 분들도 있을것이기에 홍차넷에 가입인사겸 제 잘못을 돌아보는 글로 자기소개를 할까 합니다. 저는 pgr에서 아이디 중복가입으로 이중이 짓을 하다가 발각되어 도망치듯 사이트를 떠난 전력을 가지고 있습니다. 저에게 pgr은 참 소중한 곳이었고 그곳에서 많은 것을 얻고 또 주고싶은 곳이었는데, 제가 그 모든것을 스스로 불구덩이에 밀어넣어 버렸죠. 제 인생에서 가장 부끄러운 일입니다. 하나의 인터넷 사이트이지만, 저의 정체성과 인격이 깊이 담겨있던 곳이었고, 제 추함의 밑바닥까지 확인할 수 있었던 일이었습니다. 이중이짓에 대해서 더 말씀을 드려야겠네요. PGR에 가입한건 정말 오래되었지만, 이중이짓을 시작하고 발각되어 탈퇴까지는 불과 한두달 남짓이었던 것으로 기억합니다. 닉네임을 졸렬로 지은것도 제 졸렬한 인격을 스스로 알기 때문이었을까요. 그렇게 키배를 즐기는 성향은 아니었지만, 언제부터인가 가시돋힌 말에 대해 가시돋힌 말로 반박하고 싶었고, 그러기에는 오랜시간 함께해왔던 알량한 제 이미지를 지키고 싶었습니다. 그게 제가 이중이짓을 한 밑바닥 이유였죠. 가면을 바꿔가며 활동하는건 사실 재미있었습니다. 아마 본닉으로 댓글을 달고 세컨으로 지지댓글을 다는 추한짓도 했던것 같습니다. 그렇지만 또 너무 티는 내지 말아야지 하는 교활함도 있었죠. 그리고 오랜시간의 경험에 비추어 규정을 줄타기하며 가시돋친 말을 세컨닉으로 쏟아냈죠. 그러다보니 새 닉네임으로는 벌점도 꽤 받았어요. 하지만 그게 오래가지는 못할거라는걸 알았어야 했죠. 발각되는 순간은 제 온몸에서 식은땀이 쏟아져내렸고 저는 더 생각할 틈도 없이 황급히 탈퇴단추를 눌렀죠. 처음 생각한건 현실부정이었습니다. 이런 사이트 따위 탈퇴하면 그만이지 뭐. 신경쓰지마. 하지만 이미 제 스스로 제 인격의 추한 몰골을 확인했다는 사실에는 변함이 없었습니다. 저는 정말 몹시도 괴로웠고, 잠못들고 부끄러움에 몸서리치는 일이 많았습니다. 내가 그 번지르르한 가면을 쓰고있었지만 이정도밖에 안되는 인간이구나 해서요. 공교롭게도 그 때, 그 죄스런 마음을 누구에게라도 사과하고 싶어, 이미 탈퇴해서 pgr에 글은 쓸 수 없고, 운영진 한 분에게 죄송하다는 사과메일을 드렸던게 Toby님이었네요. 별 말 없이 제 앞날에 좋은일 있기를 기원해주셨던 것으로 기억합니다. 그나마, 그 한사람에게라도 한 사과가 제게는 조금이나마 양심의 가책을 덜수 있었던 일이었습이다. Pgr에 언제 한번은 사과해야겠다. 무서운 조롱이 쏟아질수도 있겠지만 매듭은 지어야겠다는 생각을 가진채 시간이 꽤 흘렀습니다. 사실 솔직히 고백하면 최근 다시 pgr을 가입해서 조용히 활동하고 있긴 합니다. 그 향수를 못잊고, 결국 또다른 가면을 쓰고 말이죠. 그래서 홍차넷이 생긴것도 알 수 있었던거죠. 하지만, 이 곳이 생긴것을 안 이상 조만간 탈퇴할 생각입니다. 더 이상 속이는 짓은 못할 짓이겠더라고요. 홍차넷에 가입하며 이 글을 쓰는 심정은 복잡하기도 하고 오묘하기도 합니다. 많은 분들이 pgr에 계시던 분들이므로 사과하고 싶고, 그럼에도 여기는 pgr이 아니므로 비겁해보이기도 하네요. 부족한 저에게는 그나마 고백과 술회를 할수있는 적당한 장소인 것 같습니다. 다시한번 당시에 pgr에서 물의를 빚었던 일에 대해, 그곳에 계셨던 분들에게 사과드립니다. 제가 이 닉네임을 달고있는한 그 추한일은 꼬리표처럼 따라다닐 것 같습니다. 그러나 새로 시작하는 이 곳에서, 저도 조금은 더 진솔한 얼굴로 정직하게 제 자신을 마주하고 싶어 이러한 글을 쓰게 되었습니다. 홍차넷의 번영을 기원하며, 다들 반갑습니다. 감사합니다. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 14 이 게시판에 등록된 DEICIDE님의 최근 게시물
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Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
460 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
460 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
460'> 천무덕
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
15/05/30 08:24
460>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
사람은 누구나 실수 할 수 있죠. 실수 한 이후의 행동이 더 중요하다고 생각합니다.
그런 의미에서 늦게나마 이런 글(반성문..이랄까요)을 또다시 볼 수 있어서 충분히 반성하고 계신게 보여서 좋습니다.
다시 뵙게되어 반갑습니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
그런 의미에서 늦게나마 이런 글(반성문..이랄까요)을 또다시 볼 수 있어서 충분히 반성하고 계신게 보여서 좋습니다.
다시 뵙게되어 반갑습니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
460>
460>
