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홍차넷
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티타임
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 21
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- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 519
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_category - assumed 'use_category' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/include/print_category.php on line 9
전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
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Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/memo_replace.php on line 3
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| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 17/07/14 17:00:16 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | soul |
| Subject | 가난했던 젊은날 |
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저희집은 가난했습니다. 왜 가난했는지 모르겠지만.. 가난했습니다. 초중고등학교는 그럭저럭 다녔습니다. 급식을 줬으니까요. 용돈은 한 달에 만원. 고등학교때 친구들과 월드콘 내기를 하다가 지는 날이면 일주일동안 아무런 군것질을 할 수 없었습니다. 대학교에 들어와서도 여전히 형편이 좋지 않았습니다. 돈 한 푼이 부족해서 왕복 4시간 되는 거리까지 과외를 다녔습니다. 교통비를 따져보면 남는게 거의 없었지만 학교 다닐 교통비라도 벌기 위해서는 과외를 해야 했습니다. 당시의 저에게 돈이란 가장 소중한 가치였습니다. 돈이 있으면 맛있는 것도 먹을 수 있고 돈이 있으면 힘든 과외를 하지 않아도 됐고 돈이 있으면 놀이공원에도 갈 수 있었습니다. 돈 = 행복. 저에게 돈의 가치란 그랬습니다. 대학입시때. 합격통보를 받고 저는 그 자리에서 울었습니다. 정말 힘들게 공부했는데 붙어서.. 저도 모르게 눈물이 나왔습니다. 어머니께 전화 드리니 같이 울었습니다. 어머니는 일 하고 계셨습니다. 아버지께 전화 드리니 학비가 얼마냐고 하십니다. "아빠 나 합격했어" "그래.. 등록금이 얼마니. 융자내야겠다." 너무 슬퍼서... 합격한게 죄라서..... 전화를 끊고 정말 많이 울었습니다. 대한민국에서 가장 좋은 대학 중 한 곳에 합격했는데 아버지께는 합격보다 학비가. 돈이... 더 중요했습니다. 대학교 4학년때, 미국의 모 지방대에서 대학원 어드미션을 받았습니다. 조심스럽게 부모님께 말씀드렸더니, 돈이 부담되지만 유학을 다녀오라 하셨습니다. 하지만.. 제가 스스로 포기했습니다. 학비가 얼마냐는 질문을 다시 듣고싶지 않았기 때문입니다. 저는 그렇게 꿈을 스스로 접어갔습니다. 돈이 없었기 때문에. 얼마 전, 대학교 후배를 만났습니다. 유학을 간다고 합니다. 6개월정도 준비했고 합격해서 곧 떠난다고 합니다. 어떻게 준비했는지 물어보니, 이러저러한 학원을 다니고 시험을 봤다고 합니다. 학비는 1년에 5천만원정도 들 것 같다고 하네요. 저도 모르게 눈물이 났습니다. 저는 돈이 없어서 GRE를 독학했습니다. 남들 다 다니는 학원은 상담밖에 받지 못했습니다. 책 몇 권으로 독학하고, 모르는 것은 구글 검색을 하고 저자에게 메일을 보내가며 묻고 물어서 어렵게 공부했습니다. 시험 볼 돈이 없어서 여러 번 응시도 못했고, 한 번의 시험에 모든걸 걸어야 했습니다. 피가 마르고 뼈가 바스러지는 경험을 매일 했습니다. 어렵게 어드미션을 받았지만 집에 돈이 없어서 유학을 포기했습니다. 그런 기억이 떠올라서, 후배 앞에서 저도 모르게 눈물이 나왔습니다. 영문도 모르는 후배는 '누가 죽으러 가는 것도 아닌데 왜 그렇게 슬퍼하냐'고 저를 달랩니다.. 유학을 포기한 뒤, 고시에 매달렸습니다. 거지같은 인생을 역전시키겠다는 마음으로 고시에 매달렸습니다. 정말로 돈 없이 공부했습니다. 정말로 독하게 공부했습니다. 자살하고 싶었습니다. 그런데 곱게 자살하고 싶지는 않아서 몸을 극한까지 몰아붙여서 공부했습니다. 건강이 나빠지는게 느껴졌지만, 차라리 공부하다 죽자는 생각으로 공부했습니다. 하루에 초시계로 net 17시간씩 2년 반 공부했습니다. 서른이 될 때 까지 저는 노량진의 컵밥과 편의점의 삼각김밥밖에 먹질 못했습니다. 컵밥 그만 먹으라는 컵밥집 아저씨, 1000원짜리 사는데 통신사 할인받는 저를 비웃는 알바생... 그래도 저는 컵밥을 먹을 수 밖에 없었고, 천원짜리 삼각김밥 세트를 사면서도 통신사 할인을 받을 수 밖에 없었습니다. 지금은 어느 정도 자리를 잡아서 지내고 있지만 그때 유학을 갔더라면 제 생활이 어떻게 달라졌을까, 종종 생각이 듭니다. 몇 년이 흐르고, 돈에 대한 관점이 많이 바뀌었습니다. 지금의 삶에서 행복을 찾고, 지금의 제 인생을 잘 가꾸는게 행복한 생활이라 생각합니다. 돈이 그렇게 중요하지 않다는 것을 대학생때 알았더라면, 제 부모님이 유독 돈에 민감하셨다는걸 그때 알았더라면, 이렇게 돈에 민감하게 반응하며 살지 않았을 것 같습니다. 사람이 먼저라는 것을, 인간관계가 먼저라는 것을 부모님께 배울 수 있었다면 좋았을텐데 아직도 부모님께서는 사람을 믿지 마라는 말을 반복하실 뿐입니다. 이제는 부모님은 그런 분이시라는걸 그저 받아들일 수밖에 없습니다. 유학을 가는 후배가 당시 제 곁에 있었더라면 많은 힘이 되었을텐데, 많이 아쉽습니다. 마지막으로, 축하해야하는 후배 앞에서 눈물을 보여서 미안하고 진심으로 축하한다고 전하고 싶습니다. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 19
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Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 600
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 614
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 616
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 620
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 640
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
85859 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
85859 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
85859'> T.Robin
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
17/07/14 17:11
85859>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
젊은 날의 치열했던 그 순간을 위해 건배.
(전 술을 못하니 값비싼-?- 코카콜라로......)
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
(전 술을 못하니 값비싼-?- 코카콜라로......)
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
85859>
85859>
