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홍차넷
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티타임
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- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
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전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
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| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 23/03/19 22:19:32 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | 골든햄스 |
| File #1 | 11zec4.jpg (39.5 KB), Download : 2 |
| Subject | '합리적인' 신앙 |
 안녕하세요. 신앙 이야기야말로 참 논란이 될 이야기인데, 우선 저는 그 어떤 반대도 찬성도 말이 된다고 생각하는 편이고, 이 이야기는 논증보다는 신앙의 취사선택에 대한 일기에 가깝습니다. 신앙에 대한 이야기를 하자면 .... 어릴 때, 전도를 하는 언니의 손을 잡고 교회로 끌려갔는데 목사님이 이런 말씀을 하던 기억이 납니다. "이 시계를 보십시오. 이렇게 정교한 것이 그냥 만들어졌을 리가 있습니까? 우연히 만들어졌겠습니까, 아니면 시계공이 있겠습니까?" 그 순간 '눈 먼 시계공'이라는 책 제목이 머릿속에 아른아른 지나가며, 저는 속으로 '언제 나가지' 하고 출구를 흘끔거렸습니다. 저는 리처드 도킨스를 좋아하는 무신론자였고, 과학을 무척 좋아했으며 (지금도 그렇습니다), 합리성의 신봉자 (이건 지금 그렇지 않습니다) 였습니다. 그 후에도 몇 번 전도를 당했습니다. 기분 나쁘지는 않았습니다. 정말 힘들 때, 진심 어린 도움을 주고 밥을 사주면서 한 번 교회 정도는 데려갈 수 있다고 생각했기 때문입니다. 그런 사람이라도 만나고 싶을 정도로 외로웠던 것도 있습니다. 그러다 본격적으로 종교를 믿어야겠다고 느낀 것은, 앎에 대한 착각에 대한 글을 읽을 때였습니다. 뇌과학에 대한 책을 읽는데, 앎이란 사실 신체적 감각이란 글이 나왔습니다. 어떤 고명한 과학자가 너무도 뛰어난 과학자임에도 한편으로는 조현증적 망상을 확신을 갖고 믿고 있으며, 자신도 이성적으로는 그것이 아님을 알아도 (지능이 높으므로) '이 안다는 감각'을 어찌할 수 없다고 서술했다는 내용이었습니다. 그 글을 보는데 왠지 모르게 앎이란 참으로 허무한 것이 아닐까 하는 생각이 들었습니다. 한편으로 그 순간 종교에 대해서 조금 알 것 같은 느낌이 들었습니다. 종교란 이 현실과는 다른, 분리된, 자신들만의 '앎에 대한 감각'을 만들어서 기존의 감각을 대체하는 것일 것이라고요. 그렇지만 그것이 틀리다고 누가 말할 수 있겠습니까? 어차피 다 다른데. 그 뒤 또 시간이 흘렀습니다. 저는 엄청난 병을 앓게 됐습니다. 오진에 오진이 거듭됐고, (나중에는 바로잡았지만) 일부 병은 진단되지 않은 채 남았습니다. 섬유근육통일 수도 있다는 의견 정도였습니다. 마취과에서 주사를 맞으며, 정체 모를 20만 원 짜리 영양제라도 주문해보며, 끊임없이 유튜브나 인터넷에서 '나은 사람들'을 찾아봤습니다. 하나 같이 이야기하는 건 '신앙'이었습니다. '신앙 덕에 나았다' 제가 제 병에 대해 추측하는 많은 이유들이 있었습니다. 부모의 학대, 그로부터 이어진 '낙오자'로 찍혀 당한 학교폭력, 그로부터 이어진 초기 애착 형성 실패와 사회성 학습 실패로 인한 고통스러운 사회생활, 가난, 문화적 탈락 현상 등등.. 하지만 이에 대해서 분석하는 건 제 병에 큰 도움이 되지 않았습니다. 오히려 더 큰 절망만 주었을 뿐이었습니다. 물론 '이야기하는' 데는 도움이 됐습니다. 가령 제 현상에 대하여 '배움의 발견' 같은 책을 인용할 수 있을 테니까요. 그렇지만 당장 제가 느끼는 무시무시하고 초현실적인 공포 앞에서, 저는 또다른 판타지적인 유니콘을 소환해야 할 필요성을 느꼈습니다. 그리고 눈앞에 그 유니콘을 함께 상상하고 다 함께 모여 매번 기도를 나누는 공동체가 있었죠. 그렇게 같이 유니콘을 보는 것처럼 행동한다면, 유니콘이 있음과 다를 바가 있겠습니까? 루루피 루루팡 루루얍! 저는 유니콘 공동체로 향했습니다. (그런데 실은 거의 안 갑니다.) 절, 성당, 교회, 이슬람사원, 그리스정교회, 심지어는 조로아스터 교(장례식 방식이 조장이라니 왠지 멋있어서)까지 다 염두에 둬봤습니다. 그리고 지금도 실은 아무 데나 갑니다. 그냥, 신이 있다고 믿습니다. 그냥, 정의가 이뤄진다고 믿습니다. 그냥, 제 삶이 정의로웠다고 믿습니다. 그러면서 현대사회, 과학과 이성의 시대를 사는 머리 한편으로는 '그런 건 말도 안 되지' 라고 생각합니다. 그런 건 말도 안 된다 생각하고, ESG나 다른 노력을 통해 세상을 바꿔나가려는 사람들과 함께 하며, 그게 맞다고 고개를 끄덕입니다. 하지만 여전히 제 지친 몸과 마음을 위해 기도할 때는 초현실적인 존재를 한번 불러내봅니다. 누군가 착한 사람들을 돌봐주고 악한 사람들을 벌한다 (카르마로든, 사후세계로든) 는 생각 자체가 그리 나쁘진 않으니까요. 그래서 저는 그렇게 '합리적으로' 신앙을 취사선택해봅니다. 가끔 그래서 덕분에 사람들에게 더 관대해져서 좋은 기회가 생길 때도 있고, 헛된 기부를 할 때도 있고, 헛된 사람들에게 친절해질 때도 있고, 조금 비현실적이고 붕뜬 느낌을 사람들에게 주는 거 같을 때도 있습니다. ('너 교회다녀?!?!' '아니 그냥 아무 신이나..' 후략...) 그래도 놀라운 건 이겁니다. 몸이 낫는 데는 도움이 됐어요. 추천합니다. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 16
이 게시판에 등록된 골든햄스님의 최근 게시물
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Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant grant_delete - assumed 'grant_delete' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 429
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 599
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Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 614
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 616
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 620
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 640
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 22
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
182828 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
182828 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
182828'> dolmusa
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
23/03/19 22:35
182828>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
저도 2~3년에 한 번 정도 강릉의 외진 산골로 누군가를 뵈러 찾아가곤 합니다.
왜 가는지는 모르겠어요. 가서 뭐 대단한 말 듣고 오는 것도 아니고 그분이 뭐 영험한 걸로 크게 소문이 나신 분도 아니고 제가 그분께 많은 대가를 지불하는 것도 아니고 말이지요.
저는 학부 시절 복수전공이 종교학이라 수요공급 막론하고 신실함에 매달리거나 종교에 기대어 중요한 판단을 하시는 분들에 관한 공부도 일반인보다는 꽤 한 편이고, 그러한 상황에 관련한 "산업"도 자세히 공부해 본 편이고.. 저도 무의식적으로 그러고 있을지도 모르겠다는 생... 더 보기
왜 가는지는 모르겠어요. 가서 뭐 대단한 말 듣고 오는 것도 아니고 그분이 뭐 영험한 걸로 크게 소문이 나신 분도 아니고 제가 그분께 많은 대가를 지불하는 것도 아니고 말이지요.
저는 학부 시절 복수전공이 종교학이라 수요공급 막론하고 신실함에 매달리거나 종교에 기대어 중요한 판단을 하시는 분들에 관한 공부도 일반인보다는 꽤 한 편이고, 그러한 상황에 관련한 "산업"도 자세히 공부해 본 편이고.. 저도 무의식적으로 그러고 있을지도 모르겠다는 생... 더 보기
저도 2~3년에 한 번 정도 강릉의 외진 산골로 누군가를 뵈러 찾아가곤 합니다.
왜 가는지는 모르겠어요. 가서 뭐 대단한 말 듣고 오는 것도 아니고 그분이 뭐 영험한 걸로 크게 소문이 나신 분도 아니고 제가 그분께 많은 대가를 지불하는 것도 아니고 말이지요.
저는 학부 시절 복수전공이 종교학이라 수요공급 막론하고 신실함에 매달리거나 종교에 기대어 중요한 판단을 하시는 분들에 관한 공부도 일반인보다는 꽤 한 편이고, 그러한 상황에 관련한 "산업"도 자세히 공부해 본 편이고.. 저도 무의식적으로 그러고 있을지도 모르겠다는 생각도 들고 의식적으로 "맹목적 의지"에 대한 경계 때문에 쉽사리 기성종교를 믿지 못하게 된 감도 있습니다. 제가 좀 안타까울 때도 있긴 한데..
그런데 그래도 강릉은 때되면 가게 됩니다. 다녀오면 무언가는 달라져서 오더라고요. 신기하지요. 저도 추천합니다.
왜 가는지는 모르겠어요. 가서 뭐 대단한 말 듣고 오는 것도 아니고 그분이 뭐 영험한 걸로 크게 소문이 나신 분도 아니고 제가 그분께 많은 대가를 지불하는 것도 아니고 말이지요.
저는 학부 시절 복수전공이 종교학이라 수요공급 막론하고 신실함에 매달리거나 종교에 기대어 중요한 판단을 하시는 분들에 관한 공부도 일반인보다는 꽤 한 편이고, 그러한 상황에 관련한 "산업"도 자세히 공부해 본 편이고.. 저도 무의식적으로 그러고 있을지도 모르겠다는 생각도 들고 의식적으로 "맹목적 의지"에 대한 경계 때문에 쉽사리 기성종교를 믿지 못하게 된 감도 있습니다. 제가 좀 안타까울 때도 있긴 한데..
그런데 그래도 강릉은 때되면 가게 됩니다. 다녀오면 무언가는 달라져서 오더라고요. 신기하지요. 저도 추천합니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
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Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
5
182828>
182828>
