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홍차넷
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티타임
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- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
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전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
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| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 23/01/01 00:59:51 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 수정됨 |
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| Name | 카르스 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Subject | 내 인생의 전환점, 2022년을 결산하다 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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1. 독서
(빗금 친 건 읽다 만 책) 총 32권 완독. 읽다 만 책은 8권. 석사논문 쓰고 유학 준비하느라 많이 읽지는 못했다. 읽은 책도 짧고 가볍게 읽을 수 있는 것 위주. 그저 반성을... 올해의 책은 토니 주트(조행복 역)의 전후 유럽 1,2권. 2차 세계 대전 직후부터 2000년대까지의 유럽사를 깊고도 포괄적으로 풀어낸 책이다. 두권 합쳐서 1500페이지짜리 책이지만 글빨이 좋아서 잘 읽었다. 국내에서 보기 힘든 보수우파적인 유럽현대사라서 더 값어치가 있었던. 2. 여행
총 4번. 전부 국내여행이었지만 코로나19 시국인데 뭐 어때 데헷 경상북도-충청도 때처럼 혼여행 도중 지인 만났던 여행도 있었고, 통영처럼 클래식국제음악제도 들를 겸 게스트하우스 일행들과 즐겁게 놀았던 여행도 있었고, 교회 식구들끼리 해수욕장 개장 마지막날에 양양 갔던 여행도 있었고 이곳저곳 고루 둘러봤다. 그래도 올해의 여행은 6월의 동남권 여행(포항-울산-부산). 유학준비 전 마지막 여행이라서 마지막으로 즐길 수 있었던 여행인데, 덕분에 비싼 요리도 마음껏 먹고 비싼 호텔도 숙박대전 기간이라 싸게 들르고 호텔에서 영화도 보고 즐겁게 쉴 수 있었다. 소설도 재미있게 읽고(하루키의 '여자 없는 남자들') 무엇보다 편히 쉬면서 마음을 추스릴 수 있었다. 정말 최고의 여행이었다. 3. 영화
총 39편. 저녁 때 뷰티풀 마인드 보고 40편 채우려 했다가 귀찮아서 못봤다. 그래도 암묵적 목표인 한 달에 세 편은 채웠네. 워낙 쟁쟁한 영화를 많이 봐서 국내영화, 국제영화 1위를 선별하기는 어려웠다. 올해의 국내영화는 김기덕의 봄, 여름, 가을, 겨울 그리고 봄. 김기덕 특유의 그로테스크함 없이 불교적인 가치관을 따스하게 그려낸 영화. 아 주산지 가고시퍼 올해의 국제영화는 하마구치 류스케의 드라이브 마이 카. 원작의 기막힌 연출, 감독의 따스함이 잘 드러나는 소재, 아름다운 배경, 자기표현하는 연극 속의 메타성 등이 기막히게 잘 어우러진 역작. 국내, 국제영화 종합한 올해의 영화는 하마구치 류스케의 드라이브 마이 카. 덕분에 좋은 영화감독을 알게 되었다. 일본 영화가 몰락했다 해도, 따스한 시선의 감독들이 있어 일본 영화를 놓치 못하겠다. 4. 드라마
겨우 두 편이라 올릴까 말까 고민했지만, 올해 내 인생의 전환점이 되었던 드라마가 있어서 굳이 올린다. 올해의 드라마는 유인식의 이상한 변호사 우영우. 내용도 재미있고 법조계 고증이 좋고 사회적인 메세지까지 좋았던 작품이지만, 무엇보다 나 스스로의 특이한 정체성을 확실하게 인식하고, 당당하게 드러낼 수 있었던 계기가 되었다. 옛날부터 고민했고 숨기고 싶었던 자폐정체성을 더 이상 숨기지 않게 되었다. 스토리작가 유인식과 우영우 역을 맡은 박은빈에게 다시 한번 감사를. 5. 연주회와 공연
코로나19가 끝나고 나름 많이 들렀다. 올해의 공연은 관객모독. 관중에게 욕하고 물뿌리는 문제작인 건 사전에 알았지만 그래도 신선했다. 올해의 연주회는 오의진 - 이안니스 크세나키스 피아노 전곡 리사이틀. 난해하지만 천재적인 미학을 자랑하는 현대음악 작곡가 이안니스 크세나키스의 피아노곡 전곡을 친다는 발상에 선정했다. 마이너한 취미라 평생 관람할 수 있었을까 싶었지만 어떻게든 잘 해냈다. 6. 전시
코로나19가 끝나고 나름 많이 들렀다. (2) 올해의 전시는 치유의 기술. 위에 설명한 6월 동남권 여행의 일부로서 관람했다. 편안하게 마음을 치유하는 데 굉장히 도움이 많이 됬다. 7. 게임
별 거 없다. 올해의 게임은 그냥 배드 엔딩 극장. 플레이타임 2시간에 불과하지만 초반에 설정한 네 주인공 성격들의 조합으로 수십개의 다른 엔딩들을 만들어내는 컨셉이 재미있었다. 8. 흥미로웠던 논문들 대학원생 주제에 노는 이야기만 한 것 같아서 막판에 써보려... 했는데 글이 너무 길어지고 리스트가 정리가 안 될까봐 그냥 내년에(...) 따로 정리하려 한다 9. 토플과 GRE 토플: R 28/L 21/S 23/W 26 - 합계 98 [최고] GRE: V 159/Q 169/W 3.0 유학준비하느라 꼭 봐야 했던 시험들이다. 토플은 세번 봤고 100점 찍어야 안전한데 목표 기간까지 점수 안 오를 것 같아서 그냥 98점에서 끝냈다. GRE는 W점수가 조금 낮지만 다행히 한번에 끝냈다. 무엇보다 제일 중요한 Q점수가 제일 높아서 그냥 졸업. 아쉽긴 아쉽지만 걱정보다는 잘 봐서 다행. 10. 석사논문 논문 내용에 양심적으로 찔리는, 예리한 석학이 태클걸면 방어하기 어려운 부분이 많아서 걱정했는데 예심 및 본심 무사히 통과. 지도교수님이 소개해주신 학술대회도 무사히 마쳤다. 그저 온라인 파일이 학교에서 처리되길 기다리는 중. 온라인에서 처리되고, 논문 제본하면 바로 석사 졸업이다! 11. 인간관계 오미크론 유행 지나면서 코로나19 시국은 실질적으로 끝났지만, 유학 준비와 석사논문 완성이라는 부담 때문이었을까, 아니면 내 게으름 때문이었을까. 사람들과 기대만큼 많이 만나진 못했다. 대신 지인의 도움으로 소개팅도 한 번 해 봤다. 성공하진 못했지만. 지인과의 대화에서 가볍게 말하고 속마음을 완전히 털어놓는 시도도 해보고, 발표 안 하는 학술대회에 여러 번 참석해 보고, 학교든 학교 밖이든 뒤풀이가 있으면 적극적으로 참여하고, 1:1 대면이든 지인의 행사든 만날 기회가 있으면 얼마든지 끼어들고, 여러 학교의 대학원생 모임에도 두어번씩 참여하면서 느리게나마 할 건 하는 편. 무엇보다 홍차넷 벙개에 6번이나 참여했다! 맥주벙 두번 열어주신 비어-도슨트님 감사합니다 12. 종합 전반적으로 코로나19 시국의 어두움이 걷히기 시작하고, 내 인생의 전환점이 된 해였다. 2018-19년도에 사회복무요원으로 일하면서 많은 결심을 했다. 소집해제되어 학교로 돌아가면 나는 다른 사람이 되겠다고. 그러나 2020년에 코로나19 시국으로 그 꿈은 박살났고, 나는 3년간 일상생활이 제한된 채로 고통을 받아야 했다. 2021년에는 백신 보급으로 바로 풀릴 줄 알았지만 델타변이로 고통받아야 했다. 일상생활 복귀는 생각만큼 빠르지 못했고, 그 과정에서 밝히기 부끄러운 흑역사를 쓰기도 했다. 하지만 그 속에서도 나는 여러 노력을 했었다. 여행을 가고, 영화 취미를 발전시키고, 운동을 하고, 피아노 취미를 개발하고, 여러 책과 논문을 읽었고, 학계든 취미생활이든 기회가 있으면 이런저런 모임에 참여했다. 일상 회복에 대한 희망고문을 삶의 불가피한 영역으로 받아들이고 극복하려 노력했다. 올해는 그 노력이 본격화되고, 과거 노력이 부족하게나마 성과로 이뤄진 해였다. 또 우연찮은 기회들 덕분에 한 걸음 나아갈 수 있었다. 아는 분 덕분에 인생 첫 소개팅을 할 수 있었다. 지인에게 내 내밀한 마음을 드러내는 연습을 했고 성공했다. 드라마 덕분에 내 자폐성향을 다시 돌아보고 마음가짐을 바로잡을 수 있었다. 독서부터 공연까지 여러 취미생활을 한꺼번에 그리고 깊게 즐길 수 있었다. 흥미로운 논문들을 많이 읽어봤고 덕분에 수학함의 분야와 방향성을 되새겨볼 수 있었다. 석사논문은 결국 본심까지 통과되어 졸업을 앞두고 있다. 유학을 갈까 말까 고민하다가 결국은 시도해보게 되었고, 몇몇개 학교 제외하곤 지원을 대부분 마쳤다. 그저 진인사대천명. 그리고 기분탓이 크겠지만... 나의 짝이 생길 거라는 희망이 생겼다. 예전에는 누구랑 사귀고 싶다는 생각을 많이 했는데, 어느 순간부터 사귀면 뭘 어떻게 할지에 대한 생각을 더 많이 한다. 연애하기 어려운 환경인데도 그렇다. 내가 사귈 수 있다는 자신감이 없으면 못할 생각이다. 그동안 못했던 것들이 한꺼번에 일어나고, 앞으로의 몇년 아니 몇십년을 좌우할 중요한 순간들이 스쳐갔다. 그것이 내 전환점 2022년이다. 안그래도 세상이 인플레이션이니 우크라이나 전쟁이니 혼란스러운 전환점이 지나고 있는데, 내 인생도 전환점을 지나고 있다. 나의 2023년은 어떻게 될까? 지금은 말할 수 없다. 박사유학이 되느냐, 아니냐가 내 2023년의 많은 것을 좌우할 것이기 때문에. 그래서 나는 올해 목표도 못 세우겠다. 하지만 분명한 것은, 지금은 내 인생의 전환점이라는 사실이다. 국내에서 박사를 하든, 해외에서 박사를 하든, 나는 살아야 할 삶의 공간을 재배치해야 한다. 인간관계, 취미, 공부와 연구의 우선순위를 재정비해야 한다. 미국 유학에 성공했다면 외국인으로서 겪을 고충도 고민해야 한다. 올해부터는 결산 글을 쓰면, 취미도 취미지만 CV에나 어울릴 학술적인 성과들을 많이 나열하겠지. 아니 그래야 한다. 나는 자폐성향의 나를 인식하면서, 인간으로서 누릴 수 있는 삶의 제반적 영역들을 체화하고 받아들인 스스로를 이상향으로 세웠다. 전인 교육에서 공부만 잘 하는 게 아니라 지 덕 체 모두를 고루 갖춘 인간을 양성하듯이. 학자로서 학업만 열심인 게 아니라 윤리와 시민성, 음악, 영화, 스포츠, 독서, 식도락, 인간관계를 고루 영위할 수 있는 인간으로. 잘하든 못하든 상관없다. 내 삶의 일부로서 남아있을 수 있으면 된다. 그래 2023년엔 이걸 목표로 하자. 삶의 제반 영역들을 체화하고, 내 정체성에 떳떳할 수 있는 사람이 되도록. 그것이 유학을 가든 안 가든, 석사 마치고 바로 취업하든 박사까지 가든 상관없이 필요한 삶의 자세가 아닐까. 그저 운이 많이 따르고 복 많이 받는 해가 되길 바랄 뿐이다. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 22
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Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 542
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 543
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 545
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Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 605
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Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
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180775 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
180775 class='vcm '>
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Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
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180775'> 늘쩡
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
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23/01/01 01:17
180775>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
제 10년치 활동을 한 해에 하셨네요. ㄷㄷㄷ
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Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
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Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
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