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홍차넷
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티타임
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- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
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전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
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| Date |
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| Name | 들풀처럼 |
| Subject | 필립라킨 "이것은 시" |
|
This Be The Verse By Philip Larkin They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you. But they were fucked up in their turn By fools in old-style hats and coats, Who half the time were soppy-stern And half at one another’s throats. Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can, And don’t have any kids yourself. Source: Collected Poems (Farrar Straus and Giroux, 2001) https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48419/this-be-the-verse 돌아가신 부모님을 생각하는 것을 멈출 수 없는 이유 Ref: https://theconversation.com/why-cant-i-stop-thinking-about-my-dead-parents-135588 인터넷에 있는 기사가 눈에 띄여서 읽고 있었다. 아버진, 만60 이 되기 직전 만59세에 일을 많이 하시다가 돌아가셨다. 문득문득 아직도 나에겐 "아빠"로 남아있는 돌아가신 아버지를 떠오르는 일이 있기때문에 그래 맞아! 왜 나도 둘째 아이 태어나기 직전에 돌아가신 아빠, 둘째아이가 이제는 16세인 만큼의 세월이 지났는데도 선명히 어제처럼 아빠와의 추억들이 기억에 날까 라는 생각이 들면서 기사를 읽는다. 반가운/섭섭한/애증어린 마음에 맺힌것이 많으니깐 떠오르지 하면서 가볍게 기사를 읽기 시작했다. 기사는 흥미롭게도 돌아가신 부모님에 대해서 우리들에게 유전자적인, 우리는 복제인간임을 리마인드 시켜주는 것이었다. 내가 잊고 있었던 , 나의 유전자는 모두 부모님에게서 반쪽씩 물려받는 유전자라는 사실… 그들의 웃음, 그들의 습관, 그들의 아픔, 그들의 생각, 사고.. 이 모든것의 반쪽을 내가 그대로 타고 태어났다는 사실을 나는 이 반세월을 살면서 참 한심하게도 한 번도 생물학 수업이외에 심각하게 생각해본적이 없었다는 사실을 이 단편 인터넷 뉴스기사를 보면서 깨닫다니! 너 참 왜 그랬을까? 한다. 일상생활에서는 남편에게 아이들에게, 너는 아빠 닮아서 그렇구나 또는 너는 할머니랑 똑같은 다리 모습으로, 걸음걸이가 할머니처럼 똑같이 걷네? 라는 이야기를 아이들과 곧잘 나누었는데 말이다. 근래들어서 아이들과 남편, 여동생에게서…”언니는나이들면서 엄마랑 얼굴이 점점 닮아가네.”라는 이야기를 들으면서 엄마와 나의 연결성에 의문을 표하던 내 맘을 들킨듯 기사는 두 번 세 번 나를 놀래킨다. 친정어머니는 참 예쁘신 분이신데, 고생을 참 많이 하셨다. 육체적인 고생 , 아버지가 하셨던 작은 섬유공장의 20-30명 직원분들의 근 15년의 세월동안 세 끼니를 총책임지시고 식료품 장을 매주마다 쌀가마니에 넣어서 들고 오시는 모습이 아직도 선하게 맘에 남아있을 정도로 고생을 엄청 하셨다. 장에 가시는 엄마 치마 자락을 땡기며 행여나 엄마를 잃어버릴까 코를 훔치며 엄마를 따라 나섰던 나의 모습이 늘 내 맘에 각인되어있다. 왜그리 철 없이 굴었나? 그러니, 엄마가 힘들어서 나를 안데리고 가셨지라는 나의 어릴적 모습이 떠오른다. 바보같은 맹한 꼬맹이같구나! 엄마가 좋다면 집에서 얌전히 기다리기나 하지 말이다. 장을 봐오시고 매일 세 끼니 밥을 하시고 오후 4시쯤에는 잔치국수, 간식을 만드신 격동의 70-80년대를 이겨내신분이시다. 아버지 돌아가시면서 어머니의 찬란했던 공장 사모님이라는 명성도 타이틀도 반납하셨지만 매일 밥하셨던 능력으로 지금도 어머닌, 식당에서 다른분들의 밥을 담당하신다. 엄마를 아직도 예전의 멋진 엄마로 지탱해주고 계시는 것은 엄마의 재치, 타인을 생각하는 마음, 친척분들을 챙기시고 가난한 이웃을 챙기시는 마음, 즐겁게 사시는 마음이시다. 이 모든 것들이 엄마의 큰 자산이시다. 엄마의 아픔과 상처를 이겨내주시는 커다란 청정제인것을 나는 알고 있다. 그런 엄마의 재치도 엄마의 물리적고생인 세월의 흔적을 빗겨갈 수 없게하였고 이제는 할머니가 되신 엄마의 재치있으신 인상이 남아있는 얼굴에 나의 모습이 겹쳐진다. 나는 무엇을 물려받았나 질문을 던지지만 사실 알고 있다. 나는 엄마의 재치를 타고 나지는 못했는데, 그래서 나의 인상은 엄마랑 살짝 다르다. 뭔가 아빠의 낙관적인 아니면 사람들과의 관계가 좋은 엄마의 유전자가 남아 있기는 한 듯 싶으나 그런 엄마 아빠의 얼굴에 나의 얼굴이 덧씌워졌겠지. 엄마는 아마도 엄마의 환경으로인해서 투자할 수 없었던 엄마의 한계가 있으셨을꺼다, 그렇기에 막 늙게되신 엄마의 얼굴에 나는 미안하기도 하고 내가 엄마를 편하게 모시지 못하는 딸이 된것같아서 엄마의 나이드신 얼굴에 나의 민낯처럼 죄송하게된다. 세상에 우리엄마 같은 분이 없다할 정도로 긍정의 재치만점 엄마는 여전히 밖에서는 최고의 친구이고 식당에서 밥하시면서도 반나절 일 안가시는 날에는 문화센터 강좌도 들어시고 예전에는 붓글씨 노인대학에서 엄마를 은근사귀고 싶어하시는 노년의 신사도 있으셨다고 슬쩍 흘리신 엄마 늘 존경하며 무심한 딸로 죄송할따름이다. 나는 나의 외모에서 힘들게 고생하셔서 나이드신 엄마의 얼굴과, 미에 대한 이해부족과 관리부족으로 게으름이 남긴 나의 자산, 나의 얼굴을 대입시키던 스스로가 떠오른다. 엄마한테 엎드려 절해야하는데 은근 엄마보다 내가 낫지 나랑 엄마를 …그런 의문을 표하던 나 자신, 참 민망할따름이다. 이제, 그런 엄마에 대한 생각을 잠시 남겨두고 나의 게으름과 나의 소소한 재미들에 푹 빠져서 사는 나에 대하여 스스로를 대입하며 기사를 계속 읽고 있는데, 더블릭 대학의 교수라는 Silvia Panizza 기자는 나에게 강렬한 인상을 남기게되는 필립라킨의 시를 소개해준다. 영국의 대문호라는 필립라킨의 시를 소개하는 것이 아닌가? This Be The Verse By Philip Larkin They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you. But they were fucked up in their turn By fools in old-style hats and coats, Who half the time were soppy-stern And half at one another’s throats. Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can, And don’t have any kids yourself. 이 시를 처음 맞이하는데, 시가 남기는 강렬한 마음에 시에 대한 글이 쓰여진다. 시라는 아이는 참 살아있는 사물같다. 몽글몽글 팔딱팔딱 뛰어서 세상에서 탁 튀어져 나오는 어디에 숨어있다가 내가 들여다보아야만 내 눈에 띄이는 신기한 사물! 그래서, 한 번 읽어보고 두 번 읽어보고 번역본도 읽어보고 맛도 봐보고 뒤집어도 보고 되새겨도 보고 그렇게 이렇게 멋진 녀석을 만나니 오늘 일한 하루의 노고가 다 사라지는 듯 하다 영국에서 가장 칭송받는 시인이라는데 번역본이 별로 없네 그래서, 어슬픈 내 실력으로 의역을 해 보았다. 이 시가 나에게 가져다 준 강렬함이 사라지기 전에…내 맘대로 의역을 해 본다. 좋은 번역본이 있으시면 알려주시면 업데이트할께요 알려주세요! 맞게 의역한건지 갸우뚱 쑥스럽다. This Be The Verse By Philip Larkin They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you. 그들이 너를 망쳤어, 너의 엄마와 아빠가 그들이 의도하지 않았을 수도, 그렇지만 그들이 그랬지 그들이 그들이 가진 나쁜것들을 너안에 채웠지 거기에 좀 더 넣었지, 너를 위해서만 말이야 But they were fucked up in their turn By fools in old-style hats and coats, Who half the time were soppy-stern And half at one another’s throats. 그렇지만 그들도 그들 차례에서 망쳐짐을 당했지 올드 스타일의 모자와 코트를 입었던 바보들에 의해서 말이야 반절의 시간동안 울거나 근엄했던 이들 그리고 반절의 시간은 서로 싸우기 바빴던 Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can, And don’t have any kids yourself. 인류는 미저리를 유산처럼 다음세대에 전달해주었지 해안가의 단구처럼 깊어만 가지 얼른 빠져나올 수 있을때 나오렴 그리고 아이는 낳지마 Philip Larkin, "This Be the Verse" from Collected Poems. Copyright © Estate of Philip Larkin. Reprinted by permission of Faber and Faber, Ltd. ===아래는 어느 블로그에서 번역해둔 글이다. 좀 더 매끄러운데 뭔가 내 마음에는흡족하지 않지만, 서점에서 번역본으로 나온 책을 찾아보고 싶은 마음이 들지만 그럴 수가 없다. 이걸로 만족할 수 밖에…. ======== https://brunch.co.kr/@alaska2015/34 번역 강은 다시 돌아가서, 필립라킨의 시는 돌아가신 아빠를 생각하던 그리고 나의 엄마에 대한 양가적인 감정 모두를 내 마음을 단칼에 정리해준다. 엄마 아빠를 그대로 타고 태어났음을 인정할 때가 되었지? 슬그머니 작가는 묻는다. 그러면서 너는 너 스스로 부모님을 원망하기도 하겠지만 그러는 너는 어떻게 살고 있니? 라고 묻는다. 원본 Conversation기사의 마지막 문구가 마음에 든다. “we have greater freedom to direct our attention elsewhere, outward, to wherever it is needed. And we can be assured they will be with us, in some way, whichever path we choose to take.” 의역: “부모님의 유전자가 우리들 속에 있다 하더라도 우리는 어디로든 우리를 움직일 수 있는 자유의지가 있어, 부모님은 우리 마음에 항상 있을꺼야 어떤 형태로든 … 어디로 우리가 향하던 우리와 함께 말이야” 아빠를 이해하고 아빠와 엄마의 흔적들이 남아있는 나 자신을 다시 돌이켜본다. 화들짝 나의 무심한 과거들에 이제는 좀 더 나 라는 사람에 대한 책임감을 질 나이가 되지 않았나 싶다. 일찍 돌아가신 아빠가 그리웠던 이유가 이제 선명해졌다. 첫째가 종종 지나가던 길에 나에게 이야기했던, '엄마 나는 아이를 안낳을꺼에요. 나 같이 말썽꾸러기, 아이 셋 키우느라 힘든 엄마 아빠를 보고 컸는데.. 어떻게 아이를 낳을 생각을 할 수 있겠어요? 엄마! 엄마가 나한테 게임시켜주면 아이 낳는 것 생각해볼께요?' 라면서 나랑 술래잡기하던 큰 애의 알쏭달쏭한 마음을 이 시를 읽으면서 그래서 너가? 라고 질문해보게된다. 아이한테 이 시를 소개해주면 뭐라 그럴까? 반응이 궁금하다. 나중에 서점에 직접 갈 일이 있으면 필립라킨의 시집을 사야겠다는 메모를 노트에 남기며 이 만 오늘의 일기를 마감해본다. 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Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
142445 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
142445 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
142445'> 스파이크
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
20/04/22 15:01
142445>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
나이를 먹어가면서 문뜩 문뜩 부모님의 과거를 제 현재와 대입해서 생각해 보는 시간들이 생기곤 하는거 같습니다. 예를 들어 30살에 결혼 했던 아버지와 30살에 결혼을 못한 나를 되돌아보며, "아버지는 이 나이에 무슨 생각과 무슨 일들을 했을까?" 와 같은 것들을 말이죠.
오랜만에 여러 생각이 드는 글과 시를 접했네요. 감사합니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
오랜만에 여러 생각이 드는 글과 시를 접했네요. 감사합니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
142445>
142445>
