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홍차넷
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Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/zero_header.php on line 269
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추천
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 21
Warning: Use of undefined constant header - assumed 'header' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 31
- 회원들이 추천해주신 좋은 글들을 따로 모아놓는 공간입니다.
- 추천글은 매주 자문단의 투표로 선정됩니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 519
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_category - assumed 'use_category' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/include/print_category.php on line 9
전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌게임문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제체육/스포츠과학철학/종교정치/사회요리/음식역사여행IT/컴퓨터음악창작사진
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Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 405
Warning: Use of undefined constant total_comment - assumed 'total_comment' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 406
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 2
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/memo_replace.php on line 3
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| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 19/12/13 20:45:14 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 수정됨 |
| Name | 해유 |
| Subject | 아픈 것은 죄가 아닙니다. |
|
요즘 죄에 관련된 논문을 쓰다보니 ㅋㅋㅋ 오늘도 죄에 대한 얘기를 해볼까 합니다. 한국 사회의 우울증은 성별, 나이를 막론하고 계속 증가하고 있는 추세라고 합니다. 저는 다를 줄 알았는데 아니었나 봅니다. 다양한 사건이 겹치며 결국 올해 중증 우울증 진단을 받았고 현재 약을 복용해야 하나 술을 마시려 제 맘대로 약을 이랬다 저랬다 하는 중입니다. (의사쌤 죄송합니다. ㅜ.ㅜ) 다양한 사건이란 다음과 같습니다. 1. 가장 친한 친구가 자살로 생을 마감했습니다. 제가 더 이상 학생회를 하지 않는 이유이기도 합니다. 제가 1학년 때부터 저를 챙겨준 친한 친구가 올해 초 학생회 활동 중 어떠한 사건으로 목숨을 끊었습니다. 오빠는 매번 웃으면서 제게 "해유가 먼저 자살하면 안되는데. 그럼 오빠가 진짜 혼낼거야. 죽을 생각하지 말고 허리 아픈데 힐 신지 말고, 술 좀 줄이고. 알겠지?"를 입에 달고 살던 분이 저를 두고 먼저 세상을 떴다는 사실을 믿을 수가 없었습니다. 처음에는 부정으로 시작해서 정말 착실하게 분노의 5단계를 거쳤습니다. 지금은 아마 타협 즈음을 멤돌고 있지 않나 생각합니다. 모든 친구들이 제가 죽을까봐 걱정했지, 오빠가 죽을까봐 걱정하진 않았는데 먼저 생을 마감하는 것을 보면서 인생은 진짜 모른다는 생각을 많이 했습니다. 더불어서 죄책감이 너무나도 크게 다가왔습니다. 생을 마감하는 직전의 유서를 안 본 것이 아닌데, 봤음에도 그니까 잘 하겠지란 생각에 아무 말도 해주지 않은 것이 아직까지 생각납니다. 2. 진로문제입니다. 사실 조기졸업은 쉽습니다. 정말입니다. 다만 많은 분들이 하지 않는 가장 큰 이유는 일반적으로 기업 취직에 있어서는 조기졸업이 디메릿이면 디메릿이지 절대 좋지 않기 때문입니다. 하지만 저는 로스쿨을 생각하고 있었고 조금이라도 빨리 진학하고자 3년 조기졸업 플랜을 세웠습니다. 다만, 올해 초 교수님의 권유로 로스쿨에서 일반대학원으로 진로를 바꾸었습니다. 바쁜 와중에 GRE준비를 하고, 대학원 수업을 청강하며 제가 일반대학원에서 살아남을 수 있을 것인지, 학자로 활동할 수 있는 사람인지를 고민하는데 저도 저를 잘 모르겠더군요. 물론 어느 누가 "나"를 잘 알겠냐만은 진짜 답이 없어 아직도 갈피를 못 잡고 갈팡질팡하고 있습니다. (와중에 일반대학원 가자고 꼬신 교수님과 학술지 내보자고 한 교수님은 각각 다른 분입니다. 전방위적으로 저를 꼬시면 어쩌란 말입니까. 흑흑흑) 3. 연애 문제입니다. 이전에 관계에 없었던 것은 아니지만 제가 그나마 자발적으로 연애에 시간을 할애해야겠다고 마음먹은 것은 올해가 처음이었습니다. 근데 저의 다름이 이 연애 관계에 큰 문제를 불러일으킵니다. 뿐만 아니라 저와 상대 모두가 큰 상처를 입게 되기도 합니다. 상대는 잘 모르겠지만 그 상처는 제게 아직도 현재 진행형입니다. 제가 타임라인에 글을 "자주" 올리니 아시는 분은 아시겠지만 저는 소위 말해 플러팅을 잘 하는데 그걸 제가 잘 인지하지 못하고, 세상 사람들의 보편적 연애관(?), 이성관(?)과는 굉장히 다른 가치관을 가지고 있습니다. 이것에서 생기는 괴리를 스스로 합리화시키지 못해 방황 중에 있습니다. 사실 일반적인 케이스와 비교했을 때 저는 특이한 편입니다. 중증 우울증이어서 매사에 의욕이 없어도 원체 하는 일이 많아서 의욕이 없는 지금도 남들이 보기에는 빡센 삶을 살고 있습니다. 주변에 친구들도 많고 대외생활에 아무런 문제가 없습니다. 심지어 가정도 아버지께서 조금 과보호하시는 것을 제외하면 누구나 부러워 할 법한 다정한 가족들과 살고 있습니다. 결국 이렇게나 TMI 가득한 글을 쓴 이유는 다음과 같습니다. 평소와 다른 것 같은 느낌이 들면 병원에 가보세요! 상담도 좋습니다. 육체는 조금만 아파도 병원에 꼬박꼬박 챙겨가면서 우리는 정신이 아픈 것은 방치하는 데 익숙합니다. 누군가에게 털어놓을 수 있다는 것, 생각보다 매력적인 일입니다. 저처럼 드러내어 토로하지 않아도 나의 얘기를 꼬박 한 시간 들어준다는 거 생각보다 하고 나면 카타르시스를 느낄 수 있습니다. 시간이 해결해준다. 조금만 바쁘게 살면 된다. 다 맞는 말입니다. 다만 병원에 가고, 상담을 받고, 약을 먹으면 인고의 시간을 줄여줍니다. 아프면 집에서 참고 조금 있으면 나을텐데 병원 왜 갑니까? 진료 받고 약 먹으면 조금이라도 아픈 시간을 줄일 수 있기 때문 아닐까요? 그러니까 (결론이 이상한 것 같긴 하지만) 우울하면 여기 저기 도움을 요청하고 "나 아프니까 봐줘"라고 외치세요. 그거 했다고 떨어져나가는 사람은 그냥 나랑 안 맞는 사람입니다. 그 사람이 나쁜 사람인거죠. 아픈 것은 죄가 아닌데 사회는 그리고 우리는 아픔에 죄의식까지 묻어버립니다. 그렇게 하지 마세요. 다름을 모른 채, 차이라고 주장하는 사람들을 무시하고, 내가 나를 조금 더 사랑하면 조금 더 행복한 삶을 살 수 있지 않을까요? (아 물론 저도 잘 안 됩니다,,, ㅋㅋㅋ) 그러니까 홍차클러 여러분은 아프지 말고 행복한 연말 보내시길! 미리 메리 크리스마스 ♥ * 토비님에 의해서 티타임 게시판으로부터 게시물 복사되었습니다 (2019-12-24 22:48) * 관리사유 : 추천게시판으로 복사합니다. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 30
이 게시판에 등록된 해유님의 최근 게시물 |
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Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 616
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 620
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 640
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
19106 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
19106 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
19106'> 안경쓴녀석
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
19/12/13 20:48
19106>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
아픈 것을 진솔하게, 그러면서도 잘 이야기하시는 분들이 진짜 강한 거 같아요.
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
19106>
19106>
