Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 278
홍차넷
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Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 45
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 47
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 51
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 237
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 34
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 45
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 47
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 51
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 237
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/zero_header.php on line 269
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/zero_header.php on line 300
Warning: Use of undefined constant title - assumed 'title' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 16
추천
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 21
Warning: Use of undefined constant header - assumed 'header' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 31
- 회원들이 추천해주신 좋은 글들을 따로 모아놓는 공간입니다.
- 추천글은 매주 자문단의 투표로 선정됩니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 519
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_category - assumed 'use_category' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/include/print_category.php on line 9
전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌게임문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제체육/스포츠과학철학/종교정치/사회요리/음식역사여행IT/컴퓨터음악창작사진
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Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 389
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Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 389
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 389
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 389
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Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 389
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 389
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Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 389
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Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 389
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Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 398
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Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 405
Warning: Use of undefined constant total_comment - assumed 'total_comment' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 406
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Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 2
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/memo_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 10
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_category - assumed 'use_category' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 40
| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 18/07/02 20:24:31 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | 기아트윈스 |
| File #1 | 세상에서제일어색한사진.jpg (7.7 KB), Download : 34 |
| Subject | 고부갈등을 해결해보자 - 희망편 |
 고부갈등을 해결하고자 하는 수많은 남편님네들을 위해 조흔 말씀 전하러 왔습니다. 1. 마누라 편들기 이것이야말로 고부갈등 해결을 위해 명심하고 또 명심해야할 제1계명입니다. 남편 여러분, 설마 아직도 '우리집'이라는 대명사를 가지고 엄마아빠집을 지시하고 계신 건 아니겠지요. '우리집'은 당신과 당신 배우자를 중심으로 형성된 사회적 공간입니다. 예전에 우리집이었던 곳은 이젠 엄마아빠집입니다. 더이상 우리집이 아니예요. 우리집 사람과 남의집 사람 간에 싸움이 나면 일단 우리집 사람 편을 들고 봐야합니다. 이게 와이프가 남편에게 기대하는 '최소치'라는 걸 명심 또 명심. 그럼 엄마는 어떡하느냐? 엄마 얕보지 마십시오. 여러분들보다 수십년은 더 산 분들입니다. 동심협력하여 며느리 욕해줄 친구 쯤이야 어디가서든 쉽게 찾을 수 있는 분들이니 걱정 붙들어매십시오. 정 엄마에게 미안하시면 텔레그램 비밀채팅으로 몰래 엄마를 다독여주셔도 됩니다. 카톡 쓰지 마시고...텔레그램 비밀채팅... 명심 또 명심. 2. '엄마가 잘못했네' 제1계명에서 파생된 제2계명입니다. 고부갈등의 경우 남편분들은 사건을 객관적으로 볼 필요도 없고 스스로 준엄한 판관이 될 필요도 없습니다. 일단 마누라가 노기를 가득 머금고 사건의 정황을 개괄하다가 '이게 내가 잘못한거야?'라고 물으면 가만히 고개를 끄덕끄덕하면서 '엄마가 아주 잘못했네'라고 하시면 됩니다. 여기서 명심할 것은 와이프가 당신을 판관이라고 생각하고 뭘 물어보는 게 아니라는 사실입니다. 와이프가 사건의 정황을 개괄하면서 '이게 내가 잘못한 거야?'라고 묻는 건 [암구호]를 묻는 겁니다. 군대 다녀오신 남성분들은 잘 아시겠지만 암구호는 정해진 음성기호를 정확히 발음해냄을 통해 상대방이 아군인지 적군인지 식별하기위한 장치입니다. 어떤 날은 암구호가 '박정희-성군'일 수도 있습니다. 당신은 박정희가 성군이라는 데 별로 동의하지 않을 수도 있지만 그런 것 따위는 전혀 중요하지 않습니다. 이건 그저 피아식별을 위해 주고받는 음성신호일 뿐입니다. 박정희가 맘에 안든다고 '독재자' 같은 말을 했다간 총맞습니다. 마찬가지로, 와이프가 '내가 잘못한 거야?'라고 물으면 '성군'....아니지... '엄마가 잘못했네'라고 사전에 약속된 암구호를 말해주시면 됩니다. 3. 해결책을 제시하지 말자 물론 기가막힌 해결책을 제시할 수 있는 기적의 협상가로 태어나신 분들이 있을 수 있습니다만, 애석하게도 대부분의 남편들은 사마의 제갈량이 아닙니다. 그러니 괜히 공명 코스프레하고 해결책을 제시하다가 주군의 노여움을 사는 우를 범하지 맙시다. 초보 남편들은 활발히 마누라와 엄마 사이를 오가면서 화해를 주선하는 '운전자론'을 밀기도 하지만, 한반도 운전자는 문재인이지 우리가 아닙니다. 우리 같은 범인들은 운전하다 사고나 안내면 다행이니 운전대 잡으려는 욕심은 잠시 접어둡시다. 그럼 어떻게 해야 하느냐. 존버필승론이라고 들어보셨습니까. 일단 배를 바닥에 납싹하니 깔고 사주경계하며 사건의 흐름을 예의주시하고 있어야합니다. 막 끼어들고 싶은 욕구가 치솟을 때마다 오바마의 '전략적 인내론'을 되새기며 자리를 지키십시오. 처음에는 엄마와 와이프가 서울 불바다니 괌 사격이니 화염과 분노니 하면서 강대강 대결을 벌일 겁니다. 하지만 시간이 좀 흐르면 이런 레토릭 대결이 무색해지고 이제 출구전략을 모색하는 단계가 찾아옵니다. 남편분들은 매의 눈으로 사태의 추이를 주시하고 있다가 레토릭이 약해지는 이 지점을 놓치지 않고 달려들어 물어뜯어야 합니다! 4. 정상회담이 아닌 실무회담을 어차피 강대강 구도로 오래 버티기는 어렵고, 엄마나 와이프나 역내 긴장 해소를 바라는 순간이 옵니다. 바로 이 때 존버를 풀고 적극적으로 두 사람 사이를 오가십시오. 양 정상에게 해결의지가 있는지를 살펴보고, 그들이 정녕 정상회담을 원하는 것 같으면 그때부턴 김계관과 마이크 폼페이오가 되어서 활발하게 실무회담에 착수하십시오. 아젠다를 설정하고 비핵화 로드맵을 짜고 공동선언문을 작성하는 등이 여러분의 할 일입니다. 그렇게 중간에서 실무회담을 잘 해두면 양 정상이 활짝 웃으며 위의 참고사진처럼 친분을 과시하는 포토타임을 가질 수도 있습니다. 명심하십시오. 남편은 화해를 주선할 수 있을 뿐, 화해 자체는 와이프와 엄마가 하는 겁니다. 우리 남편네들은 실무진이지 정상이 아닙니다. 5. 과거를 털고 미래로 이 부분이야말로 고부갈등 해결의 백미라고 할 만합니다. 저는 이 진리를 깨닫기 위해 10년간 광야에서 금식하며 수련해야만 했답니다. 이 좋은 말씀을 여러분과 함께하고자하니 잘 들어보시길 바랍니다. 사실 그 어떤 고부갈등도 완전히 해결되지는 않습니다. 앙금이 남지요. 이 앙금은 크고 두터운 거라서 설령 양국 정상이 싱가폴 회담을 무사히 마쳤다고한들 쉽게 없어지지 않습니다. 이 점을 이해하지 못한 남편분들이 4번까지 잘 해낸 뒤에 스스로의 운전실력에 대해 흡족한 나머지 간혹 와이프 앞에서 중재자로서의 자기 역할이 얼마나 대단했는지 자랑을 하는 수가 있는데 그러면 꼭 타박받습니다. 앙금은 동면중인 앙그라마이뉴입니다. 동면중일 땐 안전하지만 깨어나면 재앙이 될 수 있으니 조심하십시오. 아니 그렇다면 그 앙금마저 없애면 되는 게 아닌가...하고 생각하는 남편분들이 있는 줄로 아오만, 그게 사실 불가능에 가깝습니다. 그러므로 제 제언은 그러지 말라는 겁니다. 과거의 감정은 많은 경우 해결되는 게 아니라 덮어쓰는 방식으로 '넘어가게'됩니다. 중국인의 반일감정은 정말이지 어마어마해서 해결따위가 될 수 있는 게 아닙니다. 하지만 미국과 무역전쟁이 터지자 중국 총리가 일본에 방문해서 과거사 이야기는 입도 뻥긋 안하고 (세상에..) 미래를 향해 나아가자느니 상호 경제협력을 강화하자느니 하더군요. 그러니까, 앙금은 앙금대로 퇴적시키고 그 위에 새로운 지층을 쌓는 방식으로 넘어간다...고 할 수 있습니다. 이렇게 지층을 쌓다보면 저 아랫층의 앙금은 (결코 사라지진 않겠지만) 현재와 '무관한' 것으로 화하게 됩니다. 고부갈등도 마찬가지입니다. 두 정상이 앙금을 털어내길 기대하는 대신 그 앙금 위에 계속해서 새로운 관계와 사건과 서사를 덮어쓰도록 노력하는 편이 좋습니다. 생일선물을 큰 걸 해준다든지 등등. 새 생명의 탄생도 그런 '덮어쓰기'의 일종입니다. 아이는 부부와 시부모와 친정부모와 친척들과 기타 모든 가족들의 관심과 이해가 겹치는 사실상 유일무이한 교집합입니다. 그래서 아이는 비무장지대, 개성공단, 판문점의 역할을 해낼 수 있습니다. 물론 아이가 모든 문제를 자동으로 해결해주는 만능열쇠는 아닙니다. 개성공단이나 판문점처럼 가끔 아이를 두고도 양측이 격렬히 대치하다 도끼만행사건이 벌어진다거나 할 수도 있습니다. 하지만 애가 생기면 고부관계의 성격이 크게 변하고, 많은 경우 그게 긍정적 변화라는 걸 아마 겪어보신 분들은 아실 줄로 압니다. 물론 덮어쓰는 방법이 꼭 아이일 필요는 없으니, 각자의 사정에 맞추어서 적절히 판문점/개성공단을 설립하는 지혜를 짜내봅시다. 이렇게 적절하고 유효한 조치들을 누적시킨다면 비록 앙금을 해결하지는 못할지언정 깊이 (가능한한 아주 깊이) 파묻어버리고 넘어가는 정도는 해낼 수 있을 겁니다. -끗- * 수박이님에 의해서 티타임 게시판으로부터 게시물 복사되었습니다 (2018-07-16 08:09) * 관리사유 : 추천게시판으로 복사합니다. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 56
이 게시판에 등록된 기아트윈스님의 최근 게시물
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Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 185
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Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 542
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Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
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Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 614
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Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
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Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
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Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 620
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Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
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Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
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14815 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
14815 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
14815'> 알료사
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
18/07/02 20:29
14815>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
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Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
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