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홍차넷
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Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/zero_header.php on line 269
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추천
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- 회원들이 추천해주신 좋은 글들을 따로 모아놓는 공간입니다.
- 추천글은 매주 자문단의 투표로 선정됩니다.
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Warning: Use of undefined constant use_category - assumed 'use_category' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/include/print_category.php on line 9
전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌게임문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제체육/스포츠과학철학/종교정치/사회요리/음식역사여행IT/컴퓨터음악창작사진
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| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 17/05/14 02:09:43 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | 성의준 |
| Subject | 가끔은 말이죠 |
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가끔은 말이죠, 현재의 일과 과거의 일이 머릿속에서 파노라마처럼 지나가며 맞춰지지 않던 퍼즐이 맞춰질 때가 있어요. 그럼 하던 일을 멈추고 곰곰이 생각하고 그 순간에 느끼는 감정들을 글로 남기고 싶을 때가 있어요. 대부분 글을 쓰는 타이밍이 이런 식으로 충동적인데 그래도 글을 쓰는 순간만큼은 감수성 폭발하면서 혼자만의 시간을 가질 수 있어서 좋아요. 그래서 오늘은 예전에 맞추었던 퍼즐 중 하나였던 이야기를 해보려고 해요. 1. 국민학교 1학년까진 시골에 살았어요. 연립식 주택이라고 해야 하나 군대 구막사같이 생긴 구조였어요. 4가구가 살았는데 공용으로 화장실을 썼어요. 낮에는 괜찮은데 밤에 화장실에 가려면 하늘에 보이는 은하수만큼 많이 보이는 귀뚜라미를 뚫고 화장실에 갔어야 했어요. 더욱이 재래식 화장실이라 밤에 가기엔 많이 무서웠어요. 5살로 기억해요. 그날이 금요일이었는데 제 생일이었어요. 생일이라고 맛있는 음식을 많이 해주셨는데 너무 많이 먹었는지 저녁에 배가 너무 아팠어요. 그래서 화장실 가고 싶다고 했더니 손에 손전등 하나 쥐여주고 살며시 귓가에 " 혼자 다녀와 "라고 했어요. 저는 그 무서운 귀뚜라미들을 뚫고 혼자 화장실을 다녀왔어요. 2. 처마에는 제비가 살고, 뒷산에는 민물 가제가 살고, 가끔 심심하면 집에 딱따구리가 들어와서 가구 다 쪼아놓고, 집 뒤 공터에는 삵이 나타나고, 집 앞밭에는 담배밭과 뽕밭이 있고 그 앞으로 흐르는 개울에는 민물고기와 개구리, 도롱뇽들이 살았어요. 가끔 밤에 단소나 리코더 불면 뱀 나온다고 절 혼냈어요. 처음에는 그 말이 어른들이 흔히 하는 관용어 구인 줄 알았어요. 하지만 진짜 뱀이 나타났고 울 엄마는 제 뒤에 숨어서 뱀 잡으라고 시켰어요.(엄마 나 미취학 아동인데..) 3. 시골에서 도시로 이사 오면서 처음 고층 아파트에 살게 됐어요. 전교생이 100명도 안되는 작은 학교 다니다가 한 반에 40명인 학교로 전학을 갔어요. 다음 날 학교에 가는데 자가용으로 태워주면서 "길 잘 기억해, 학교 끝나고 잘 찾아와야 돼"라고 했어요. 근데 그게 국민학교 1학년이었어요. 평생 시골 살던 아이가 처음 도시 가서 성인 기준 30분 되는 거리를 무슨 수로 한 번에 찾아가겠어요. 길을 잃고 학교 앞에 있는 횟집에 가서 엄마가 버렸다고 엉엉 울었어요. 생존 본능이었는지 집 전화번호는 어떻게 한 번에 듣고 알았는지 집에 연락해서 엄마가 왔어요. 4. 한 번은 집에서 꽃게탕 해 먹는다고 싱싱한 꽃게를 시장에서 사 온 적이 있어요. 4인 가족 꽃게를 사 왔는데 잠시 한눈판 사이에 한 마리가 어디론가 도망갔어요. 나중에 다용도실 쪽으로 도망간 꽃게를 발견했는데 역시나 제가 잡았어요.. 또 한 번은 추어탕 먹는다고 미꾸라지를 사 왔는데 굵은소금과 체를 주면서 체에 미꾸라지 쏟고 그 위에 소금 뿌리고 얼른 덮으라고 했어요. 이게 뭐라고 나한테 시키나 했다가 엄마랑 같이 기절할뻔했어요. 파다다닥 튀면서 난리 치는데 역시나 제 뒤에 숨었어요. 5. 군대 훈련소 들어갔을 때 형은 서울에서 일한다고 서울로 올라가버리고, 막내아들은 군대를 가버리고, 아버지는 멕시코로 6개월 장기 출장 가시고 70평이 넘는 집에 엄마 혼자 계시던 시절이 있었어요. 쓸쓸할 것 같아서 훈련소 있는 기간 동안 편지를 여러 통 보냈는데 답장으로 온 편지 중에 아직도 기억에 남는 말이 있어요. " 뭐든 하다가 막히면 의준아 하고 부르면 다 해결됐는데 아무리 불러도 대답이 없구나. 날이 무척 더워지는구나 에어컨 리모컨 어딨니? " 최근에 윗집이 이사를 갔는데 어느 날부터 갑자기 바퀴벌레가 나타나기 시작했어요. 바퀴벌레를 잡는다고 약을 치고 다 죽기만을 기다렸어요. 어느 날 비명소리가 들리더니 엄마는 저한테 바퀴벌레 새끼 잡으라고 소리쳤어요. 그래서 제가 한 마디 했어요. 나 - 어미들은 다 어디 가고 새끼들만 나와있지? 다 약 먹고 죽었나? 엄마 - 아니야, 새끼들이 먼저 나가서 약 먹고 죽나 안 죽나 살펴보는 거야. 나 - 어!!? 보통 엄마들은 죽나 안 죽나 먼저 먹어보고 안심이 되면 새끼들 먹이지 않나? 엄마 - 아들아, 난 널 그렇게 안 키웠다. 나 - ?????? 갑자기 혼란스러워졌어요. 어렸을 때부터 있었던 일들이 막 떠오르고, 항상 기미 상궁이 되어서 상한 음식 먹을 수 있는지 먹어보고, 이름만 부르면 어디서든 나타나서 척척 다 해결해주는 해결사가 되었는지.....ㅠㅠ 고등학교 작문 시간에 선생님이 이런 질문을 학생들에게 던진 적이 있어요. 여러분들은 사랑이 무엇이라고 생각하나요? 어떤 학생이 "사랑은 섹스죠!"라고 하자 반 전체가 웃음바다가 되었고 분위기 전환하고자 다시 질문을 했어요. 여러분들에게 부모님은 어떤 존재인가요?라고 질문했어요. 그때 마침 물주라고 대답했던 학생은 복도로 끌려나갔고 그동안 다른 학생들은 공책에 각자의 생각을 정리하라고 했어요. 나름 진지하게 생각했어요. 부모님은 나에게 어떤 존재일까? 1) 아낌없이 사랑을 주는 존재 2) 헌신적인 존재 3) 조건 없는 존재 등등 틀에 박힌 이야기만 적고 있었어요. 2003년의 작문 시간으로부터 14년의 시간이 지나서 다시 묻는다면 이렇게 대답하고 싶어요. 인생의 동반자. 벌레 하나에 까무러치면서 놀라고 비명 지르시는 저희 엄마는 제가 어렸을 때 병원 응급실에서 일하셨어요. 병원 응급실에서 다년간 일하시면서 다 죽어가는 사람, 이미 죽어서 오는 사람, 다 죽어가며 고통에 몸부림치는 사람 등등 겁 많은 엄마한테는 상상도 할 수 없는 일일 텐데 아들 둘 키운다고 꾹 참고 일하셨어요. 그런 어머니에 기대어 부족함 없이 잘 자랐고 본인 힘든 부분에 있어서는 아들이었던 저에게 많이 의지하고 기대셨던 것 같고 서로 부족한 부분을 채워가면서 살아온 것 같아요. 그래서 요즘은 울 엄마는 나한테 생각보다 헌신적이지, 그리고 생각보다 아낌없이 사랑을 주진 않았구나, 대신 생각보다 많이 힘들었고 그래서 생각보다 많이 의지했구나 하는 생각이 들었어요. 왜 이걸 지금 알았는지 참 불효자가 따로 없네요. * 수박이두통에게보린님에 의해서 티타임 게시판으로부터 게시물 복사되었습니다 (2017-05-29 11:01) * 관리사유 : 추천게시판으로 복사합니다. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 9
이 게시판에 등록된 성의준님의 최근 게시물 |
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Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 614
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 616
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 620
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 640
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
10225 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
10225 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
10225'> 와이
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
17/05/14 05:25
10225>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
좋아요
국민학교가 시작이라 더 좋았어요
좋은글 감사합니다
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
국민학교가 시작이라 더 좋았어요
좋은글 감사합니다
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
10225>
10225>