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홍차넷
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추천
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 21
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- 회원들이 추천해주신 좋은 글들을 따로 모아놓는 공간입니다.
- 추천글은 매주 자문단의 투표로 선정됩니다.
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Warning: Use of undefined constant use_category - assumed 'use_category' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/include/print_category.php on line 9
전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌게임문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제체육/스포츠과학철학/종교정치/사회요리/음식역사여행IT/컴퓨터음악창작사진
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| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 16/12/27 13:14:23 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | SCV |
| Subject | 나를 괴롭히는 것은, 나. |
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한밤중에 잠을 이루지 못하고 자리에서 일어나 물을 들이킨다. 차가운 물을 마셔도, 두통약을 한 움큼 집어먹어도 생각은 쉬이 가라앉지 않는다. 마치 금요일 밤 뜬금없이 찾아온 사랑니의 통증처럼, 생각은 날 괴롭히며 잠을 앗아가고 다음날 맞이한 아침 해와 함께 거짓말처럼 사라지는 얄미운 녀석이다. 과거의 일들이 자꾸 떠오른다. 감정이 격해지기도 하지만 대부분 심장박동수는 일정하게 유지되기 마련이다. 나쁘진 않군, 이라고 되뇌이며 억지로 잠을 청하려 들면 다시 감정마저 격해진다. 아무일도 아닌데, 정말 생각하지만 않는다면 아무 일도 아니라는 독백은 밤 공기 사이로 의미 없이 흩어진다. 불면이 익숙해질 때 쯤이면 좌절이 파고든다. 어떻게든 되돌릴 수 없는 과거와 현실에서 벗어나기 위해 현실을 소비하는 부조리는 더욱 자신을 무력화 시킨다. 결국 무기력하게 일상을 보내고, 사람들은 그 속 사정을 알든 모르든 시간이 약이라는 허울 뿐인 충고를 되풀이 할 뿐이다. 시간이 진짜로 약이 된다면 적어도 진통 효과는 형편없는 약일 것이다. 이렇게 자기를 괴롭히며 피폐해져 가는 동안, 그 누구도 당신을 괴롭히지 않았다는 사실이 더욱 끔찍하게 다가올 뿐이다. 어느날 악몽에서 깨어나 몸서리치며 다시 물 한잔 마셔봐도 악몽보다도 나을 게 없는 현실과 당신의 처지에 다시 한번 몸서리치게 된다. 그래. 아무도 당신을 괴롭히지 않는다. 무기력하게 만드는 것도, 불면의 밤을 보내게 하는 것도, 자신이 실수 혹은 잘못한 과거의 필름을 구간반복으로 기억 속에 재생시켜 주는 것도 모두 당신 자신이다. 생각을 떨쳐내려 애쓰고 현실을 잊으려 다른 것을 해봐도 무용하다. 결국 당신은 당신을 괴롭히는 자신으로부터 벗어날 수 없어 더욱 괴로워질 뿐이다. 괴롭히는 주체와 괴롭힘 당하는 객체가 동일하다보니 그 괴로움은 더욱 커져간다. 괴롭히는 강박관념과 괴롭히지 않으려는 강박관념이 뒤엉켜 싸우고 머리속은 점점 복잡해지다 못해 괴롭게 된 원인인 대상을 원망하고 미워하기 시작한다. 그리고 때로는 그 원망하는 마음을 행동으로 옮기기도 하는 우를 범하게 된다. 아무도, 당신을 괴롭히지 않는다. 과거는 과거일 뿐이고 실수는 실수일 뿐이며 잘못은 잘못일 뿐이다. 그 누구도 당신 자신만큼 당신을 비난하거나 힐난하지 않는다. 돌이킬 수 없는 일은 돌이키려 애쓰지도 말고 마음쓰지도 말라. 어차피 돌이킬 수 없다면 차라리 무신경한 편이 낫겠다. 과거에 얽매인 마음이 당신을 괴롭히고 그 마음이 당신을 괴롭히는 현실로부터 벗어나기 위해 더욱 고통스러운 수고를 하겠지만, 그것은 스스로도 잘 알다시피 올바른 해답이 아니다. 해답은, 너무나 뻔하지만 지금의 자신과 현재의 현실에 충실하라는 실행에 옮기기 힘든 충고들 사이에 놓여있을 뿐이다. 그것들이, 알면서도 실행하기 힘든 것인 이유는 당신 자신이 부정적인 생각을 떨쳐낼 수 없기 때문이다. 긍정적인 생각은 희망과 활력을 낳지만 긍정적인 결과를 위해서는 많은 힘과 노력이 필요하다. 그러나 부정적인 결과를 위해서는 아무런 힘도 노력도 필요치 않다. 오히려 편하다. 괴로운 심신을 달래는 올바른 처방은 아무것도 않은 채 부정적인 생각들에 휩싸여 편하게 있는 것이 아니라 힘든 와중에서도 더욱 힘을 내어 자신과 자신의 일을 위해 노력하고 매진하는 힘든 길을 걷는 것이다. 나를 괴롭히는 것은 나 자신이다. 그런 나로부터 벗어날 수는 없는 노릇이겠지만, 적어도 내가 나를 괴롭히도록 놔두는 우는 범하지 말자. 괴롭고 힘들어도 마냥 놓고 있지 말고 내가 나를 괴롭힐 수 없도록 더욱 바쁘고 힘들게 살자. 결국 괴롭히는 나도 내가 아니겠는가. * 수박이두통에게보린님에 의해서 티타임 게시판으로부터 게시물 복사되었습니다 (2017-01-09 09:35) * 관리사유 : 추천 게시판으로 복사합니다. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 10
이 게시판에 등록된 SCV님의 최근 게시물
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Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 640
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
7381 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
7381 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
7381'> 와이
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
16/12/27 13:18
7381>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
힘이 되는 글이네요
감사합니다
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
감사합니다
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
7381>
7381>
