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홍차넷
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추천
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- 회원들이 추천해주신 좋은 글들을 따로 모아놓는 공간입니다.
- 추천글은 매주 자문단의 투표로 선정됩니다.
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전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌게임문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제체육/스포츠과학철학/종교정치/사회요리/음식역사여행IT/컴퓨터음악창작사진
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| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 23/08/01 21:47:45 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | 골든햄스 |
| File #1 | tea.jpg (242.6 KB), Download : 7 |
| Subject | 사랑하는 내 동네 |
 때때로 어떤 기억들은 너무 소중해서 제 안에서만 간직하고 싶어지기도 합니다. 그 날의 언어, 그 날의 공기, 그런 미세한 것들이 활자로 눌러 담는 와중에서 압화처럼 일정 부분 기억의 꽃의 모양을 일그러뜨린다는 것을 알기 때문입니다. 그럼에도 글을 쓰는 건, 또 한편으로 간직하고 싶어서입니다. 정확히 이 꽃을 남겨두지는 못하더라도, 이 꽃이 있었노라 알리고 싶어서. 어쩌면 그런 마음에서 인류의 문명과 기록이 시작됐을지도 모르겠습니다. 옛날에 아버지가 한창 행패를 부릴 때도, 대학을 빌미로 저는 밖을 자유롭게 드나든 편이었습니다. (비록 나중에 소주병을 면전에 던지면서 뒈지라고 소리치며 생명을 위협하시는 바람에 장학회 기숙사로 가출해서 생명을 보존하며 동시에 기말 시험을 치른 적도 있긴 하지만; 이제는 다 지나간 일, 지나간 일;;;) 저는 그런 이유로 또래들과 지독히도 안 맞았습니다. 밥 먹으면 자동으로 가는 곳이 어딜까요? 아이들은 편의점입니다. 학원 문화에 익숙하거든요. 편의점을 한 바퀴 돌면서 농담을 하고, 가위바위보 내기로 몰아줍니다. 저는 어릴 때부터 혼자 놀아서 혼자 홍대도 가고 카페도 가고 영화도 봤습니다. 다들 가족과 학교에 대한 추억담을 늘어놓을 때 할 말이 없어 합죽이가 되어 있거나, 생명의 위험에 대처하는 것에 몰두하다 보니 아이들과 멀어지는 건 금방이었습니다. 특히 엘리트주의적인 성장시절을 밟아온 아이들과는 공감대가 전혀 없었습니다. 촌스럽게 오르비 하던 티 내지 말라고 누구한테는 한마디 톡 했던 적도 있을 정도입니다. 그때는 미숙하게도 아이들에게 중요한 것들을 제가 미처 못 알아봤습니다. 요즘은 ... 조금 사회성이 증진됐습니다. 그래도 그때는 어렸습니다. 어딘지 어려운 누나 혹은 어색하게 뚝딱거리는 누나 정도로 이미지가 박혔을 거 같습니다. 그래도 제게 동네 이웃들이 있었단 건 지금 생각해도 참 좋은 일입니다. 저희 대학 근처에는 독립영화관과 많은 사연 있는 카페들, 마음씨 좋은 주인 분들이 운영하는 집밥 식당 같은 곳들이 있었습니다. 공부를 하면서 틈틈이 스트레스를 풀기 위해 동네 곳곳을 다니다 많은 에피소드들이 쌓였습니다. 흔히 청춘들이 간다는 곳은 간 적 없어도 나름 기쁨을, 그것도 잘 우려낸 차의 마지막 한 모금 같은 진한 기쁨을 잔잔히 누리고 있었단 걸 요새야 깨닫습니다. 제가 사랑하는 제 동네는 제 학부와 가까운 언덕길 너머의 조그만 동네입니다. 독립영화관에서 직원이 맞아줍니다. "오랜만에 오셨네요." 안 그래도 좁은 동네 구청 독립영화관에서 《나, 다니엘 블레이크》를 보았다 스탭롤이 중요한 장면이 있길래 한참을 못 나가고 뒤에서 서서 훌쩍거리다 나가는둥, 요란한 관객으로 기억에 남았을 것도 같습니다. 그래서인가? 영화관에서 직원이 알아보고 말을 건다는, 아무나 겪어보지는 못할 특이한 일이 있었습니다. 하긴 구에서 운영하는 곳이라 직원 분들이 근속이 길었을 것도 같습니다만, 저는 그야말로 어버버, 순간 《성실한 나라의 앨리스》, 《아가씨》 등 온갖 영화를 그곳에서 보며 그야말로 펑펑 울던 제가 떠올라서 창피함에 자리를 피해버렸습니다. 동네 스파게티 집 주인집 따님이 피로에 엎드린 제게 다가와 예의 바르게 물어봐 주십니다. "머리에 꽃이 있으셔서 떼드려도 될까요?" 그래도 된다고 대답하자 선선히 웃으며 (내심 귀여워하며) 떼주시던 그 기억이 생생합니다. 제가 공부하다 지쳐 누워있던 통이었습니다. (전 어디에나 잘 누워있습니다) 그때가 아마 미시경제 공부로 제가 골머리를 앓아서 아무 데나 벌러덩 잘 눕던 때입니다. 벚나무 밑에 한창 누워있다 스파게티를 먹으러 가서, 벚꽃이 묻어있는 걸 친절히 웃으면서도 예의 바르게 아무 내색 없이 떼주셨던 기억이 납니다. 동네 건강 밥집을 표방하는 곳 집 아저씨가 갑자기 말합니다. "자식 위해 만들어 놓은 메추리알 있는데, 함 줄까?" 역시 이때 저는 또 피곤해서 밥을 시켜놓고 밥상 위에 철퍼덕 엎드려있었...습니다. 그 모습이 짠했던지 아저씨께서 '특별히 자식을 위해 만든 반찬'을 제게 꺼내놓았습니다. 맛이 좋았습니다. 그곳은 항상 아픈 상태로 공부했던 제게, 건강한 집밥을 먹을 수 있는 공간이었고, 따뜻한 분위기를 선사해주는 곳이었습니다. 왜 그리 자주 엎드려있었냐면 아버지 밑에서 공부하는 게 그리 쉽진 않은지 위출혈과 디스크가 심했던 탓인데 그로 추측되는 정도 이상으로 피로도가 항상 있었습니다. 눈밑이 거뭇했고, 몸이 말랐고, 트러블이 자주 났습니다. 그 외에도 학교 앞 카페에서 논문을 쓰다 상을 받았단 소식에 아주머니가 갑자기 테라스로 나가 다른 손님들에게 제 자랑을 늘어놓은 적도 있었습니다. 그러자 카페 테라스에 앉아있던 한 손님은 찾아오셔서 축하해주셨습니다. 그리고 그 와중 가장 고맙던 건, 한 카페의 존재였습니다. 실은 언덕 위 이 마을은 꽤나 작아서 카페가 별로 없었습니다. 어느 날 갑자기 들어온 이 카페는 신기하게도 2층에 다락 같은 것이 있고 안락하게 공부하기 좋아 제 마음에 쏙 들었습니다. 하늘색 위주의 인테리어도 편안하고 좋았지만, 무엇보다 신기한 건 주인 아저씨였습니다. 주인 아저씨는 첫 만남부터 특이했습니다. 말쑥하게 생긴 순하고 마른 도베르만 같은 아저씨였는데, 아마 카페를 처음 여셨는지, 말을 어물어물 하셨고 개점 기념 쿠폰으로 제가 무언가를 구매했지만 차액은 제가 내야 하는 상황에서 괜히 차액을 받지 않으려 하시며 장사를 제대로 못하는 순진한 모습을 그대로 드러내셨습니다. 그 모습에 '받으세요!' 하고 동전들을 거의 강제로 쥐어드리며 나오고 보니, 몇 번 더 가다 보니 알게 됩니다. 다른 사람들도 그렇게 아저씨를 아꼈습니다. 근처 여학생들이 쓴 것 같은 "우리 아저씨 괴롭히지 마세요!" 와 같은 문장이 포스트잇에 써있었습니다. 제가 2층에서 그곳에서 수많은 학기의 중간고사, 기말고사를 보내는 동안, 저와 아저씨는 말없이 서로를 관찰한 것 같습니다. 결국 법학적성시험을 마치고 "저, 덕분에 엄청 좋은 성적을 받았어요. --로 이사갈 것 같아요." 라고 한마디 제가 했습니다. 그러자 무슨 덕분이냐며 쑥스러워하시면서도 축하해주시던 기억이 납니다. 그래 놓고, 가서 고생은 오질나게 해놓고, 오랜만에 마침 이 동네 근처로 이사왔으면서도 이 카페가 있는 걸 알면서도 그 사이 초라해지고 현실에 치인 제 모습을 보여드리기가 왠지 부끄러워 한참을 망설였습니다. 오늘, 4년 만에 카페에 들어가자마자 전보다 더 말쑥해진 사장님이 눈을 크게 뜹니다. 누가 보아도 오랜만에 사람을 알아본 사람의 얼굴입니다. 아닌 척하고 주문할 생각도 했었는데, 할 수가 없게 됐습니다. 네. 저 맞아요. 그때 위에서 피 흘려가며 줄줄 위 쥐어짜며 공부하던 사람입니다. 그래놓고 로스쿨 가서 폭력 가정에서 독립하느라 과외하느라 공부도 제대로 못하고 변호사시험도 못 붙고 법에 대해서도 단단히 오해를 하고 갔다는 것만 알고 돌아왔어요. 이렇게 말할 수는 없을 거라 생각했습니다. 왜냐면 저희는 항상 침묵 속에 서로 있었고, 공부를 제가 할 때마다 아저씨가 조금씩, 5분씩 마감시간을 늦춰주고, 저는 미안한 마음에 커피를 먹지도 않을 거면서 테이크아웃해서 가면서도, 서로 고요함 속에 있었거든요. 그런데 아저씨가 그러는 겁니다. "이상하게 요즘 생각이 났어요. 그런 일이 별로 없는데. 잘 지내나 했어요." 일부러 찾아왔다는 말에 허리를 숙이며 공손히 인사하시는 모습이 여전합니다. 코로나 때 영업이 잘 안 돼 스트레스로 운동을 많이 해 몸이 말랐다고 했습니다. 저는 저대로 고생한 모습이 아니냐고 자학하자, 아저씨가 부정을 못합니다. 이제 학생이 아니라 어른 같다고 합니다. 녹차라떼를 시키며 괜히 흥겹게 '이게 먹고 싶었어요' 요란을 떨어보자, 아저씨가 녹차라떼를 잔 가득 채웁니다. 거의 녹색 통 같아질 정도로 녹색 잔 안에 녹색 차가 가득 찹니다. 고생 많이 했다고, 서로 그간의 대화를 나눕니다. 그토록 이야기를 나누지 않던 단골손님과 단골카페의 주인장이었는데, 별안간 4년 만에 대화를 하는데 대화가 오랫동안 만난 친구마냥 잘 통합니다. 와이파이까지 꼼꼼히 주인장 분이 먼저 챙겨주십니다. 저는 항상 앉던 2층 다락에 앉는데, 문득, 어렸을 때 저는 다락까지 주인 아저씨가 와서 고생하지 마시라고 항상 무거운 쟁반을 어떻게든 들고 내려갔던 기억이 납니다. 생각해보니 기억에 남을 만한 손님인 것도 같습니다. "그렇게 열심히 하는 모습이 대단했어요." 라는 말에 쑥스러워집니다. "고생했어요." 대학 내내 보낸 제 청춘에 맛이 있다면 쌉싸름함일 것입니다. 놀러 다닌 적도 드물고, 쓰는 인스타 아이디도 없었고, 헌팅포차도 가본 적 없었고, 미팅이나 과팅 따위도 해본 적 없습니다. 아버지가 이상한 괴성을 지르며 며칠에 한 번씩 난동을 피우는 통에 공유할 수 있는 일상이 없는 제 자신과 집안이 창피해 잔뜩 움츠러들어 있었고, 형편이 어려우니 어떻게든 살아남아야 한다는 생각, 또 아버지와 어머니를 부양해야 한다는 의무감에 더럭 공부만 했었습니다. 그런 저를 나무라지 않고, 마치 가시나무를 품어주는 활엽수림처럼 따스히 안아주던 이 동네에 오랜만에 돌아왔습니다. 이제 저는 절 사랑해주는 결혼을 약속한 남자친구와, 남은 변호사시험의 기회들과, 조금은 초췌해졌는지 몰라도 그래도 다행히 어른이 됐다는 이야기를 듣는 거로 보아서 미숙한 어린 빛깔은 사라진 것 같은 낯빛과 함께입니다. 이 동네의 개나리가 얼마나 이뻤었는지, 벚꽃이 얼마나 이뻤었는지가 기억 납니다. 이제 저는 아버지도 잊어가고 있고, 건강도 좋아졌습니다. 많은 친구들은 없더라도, 제게 항상 자리에 있어주겠다고 말한 친구들과 함께입니다. 나이듦과 시련이 꼭 비참한 것만은 아닐 겁니다. 꽃을 피우는 데도 바람이 필요하니까요. 앞으로 사회에 어떤 또 대단한 기술의 변화가 있다 하더라도, 중요한 건 언덕 굽이굽이 있는 이런 작은 마을들과 그 속의 사람들의 행복이 지켜지는 것이라 생각해 법률가의 길을 택했었습니다. 앞으로의 미래는 어찌 될지 또 다시 안개가 가득합니다만, 시련이 있는 곳에 행복도 있을 것 같습니다. 추신. 글에 첨부된 사진이 바로 카페 아저씨께서 주신 (대단한!) 표면장력의 녹차라떼입니다 * Cascade님에 의해서 티타임 게시판으로부터 게시물 복사되었습니다 (2023-08-13 12:49) * 관리사유 : 추천게시판으로 복사합니다. 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Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 614
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 616
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 620
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 640
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
26760 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
26760 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
26760'> whenyouinRome...
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
23/08/01 22:33
26760>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
이정도면 그래도 충분히 행복하신거 같지만 앞으로도 끊이지않고 행복하시길 바랍니다
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
26760>
26760>
