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홍차넷
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추천
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- 회원들이 추천해주신 좋은 글들을 따로 모아놓는 공간입니다.
- 추천글은 매주 자문단의 투표로 선정됩니다.
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전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌게임문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제체육/스포츠과학철학/종교정치/사회요리/음식역사여행IT/컴퓨터음악창작사진
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| Date |
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| Name | 당근매니아 |
| Subject | 전두환의 손자와 개돼지 |
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고등학교 3학년 때였나, 집안의 강권으로 강남 인근 입시학원 주말반을 다녔다. 당시 나는 그다지 공부할 의지가 있던 시절도 아니었고, 삼삼오오 자기들끼리 친한 그룹 사이에서 홀로였다. 그럼에도 이른 시간에 집에 돌아갈 수는 없었으므로 교실 안에서 시간을 한땀씩 저며내거나, 가끔은 PC방으로 도망가 게임을 하고 손으로 썼던 소설을 텍스트파일로 옮기는 식으로 하루를 흘려보냈다. 어느날인가 같이 땡땡이 치는 놈이 하나 있었다. 흔히 말하는 근육돼지 스타일로 풍채가 좋았고, 머리는 바짝 깎은 놈이었는데 목소리가 낮았다. 덕질에 조예가 있다는 점에서도 어째 쿵짝이 맞아서 어느샌가 매주 PC방으로 도망가는 동료가 되어 있었다. 인터넷 아이디로 '개돼지'를 쓰던 녀석이라 그 뒤로 늘 개돼지라고 불렀다. 대학 진행 후에도 몇년인가 교류가 계속되었다. 내가 즐겨찾던 IRC 채널에 개돼지를 초대하고, 종종 만나 술을 마셨다. 건대 근처에선 로티보이서 파는 바닐라아이스크림에 바카디151을 부어 먹었고, 군에서 휴가를 나왔을 때엔 율동공원으로 놀러가 번지점프를 하기도 했다. 개돼지는 꽤나 방탕한 삶을 살고 있었다. 말술이었고, 키스방에 들락거렸고, 온갖 여자들과 자고 다녔다. 대학교 입학 후 1~2년이 지났을 즈음에는 간경화 진단을 받았다는 소리를 얼핏 들었었다. 내가 제대하기 전에 사소한 문제가 관계가 틀어졌고, 그 뒤로 보지 않았다. 페북 친구도 야멸차게 끊어버렸다. 언젠가 전화인가 문자가 왔었는데, 나는 먼저 사과나 하라고 요구했었던 게 기억난다. 3년 전 즈음에 문득 생각나 페이스북을 들여다 보니 개돼지는 이미 몇년 전에 죽었고, 그 친구들이 와서 개돼지를 그리는 글들을 몇개인가 남겨두었을 뿐이었다. 나와 개돼지 사이의 관계에는 겹치는 인맥이 없어 상황을 물어볼 곳도 없었다. 나는 여전히 개돼지가 왜 20대 중반을 넘기지 못하고 죽었는지 모르지만, 아마도 매일 같이 마시던 술 때문이 아닐까 짐작할 뿐이다. 오늘 헬스장에서 쇠질을 하고 있자니 전두환의 손자가 불구속 입건되어 석방되었고, 석방 직후 광주로 향할 예정이라는 이야기를 보았다. 20대 중반을 갓넘긴 그 손자가 어떤 삶과 날을 살아왔는지는 잘 알지 못한다. 가십 수준의 이야기를 전해 들었을 뿐이고, 어떤 연유에서 마약을 하고 종교에 빠지고 할아버지를 학살자로 지칭하게 되었는지 나는 모른다. 어찌되었던 5.18 희생자들 앞에서 고개를 숙이는 학살자의 손자는 그 일가 중 그나마 바람직해 보였다. 그리고 나는 문득 개돼지를 떠올렸다. 개돼지는 종종 자신을 송요찬의 손자로 규정했었다. 송요찬은 일본 육군 상사까지 진급했었고, 해방 이후 한국군 장교로 활동했다. 4.3 사건 때에는 민간인을 상대로 한 무차별 학살을 자행했고, 6.25 때는 맹장으로 활약했으며, 4.19 때는 무력 사용 금지 지시를 내려 혁명이 성공하도록 도운 반면, 5.16으로 세워진 군사정권에서는 국방부장관을 맡았다. 그러다 개돼지가 태어나기 8년 전인 1980년에 시카고에서 죽었다. 개돼지는 송요찬의 손자였고, 그다지 깨끗하지 못한 방법으로 돈을 끌어모은 외가의 외손주였다. 개돼지는 자신이 태어나기도 전에 죽은 할아버지의 중력에서 항상 벗어나지 못한 채였다. 개돼지는 압구정에 사는 부유층이었으나, 그 재산은 선대의 부정에서 비롯했다는 걸 알았다. 개돼지는 흔히 말하는 자유로운 영혼이었으나, 집안은 선대의 유산을 떠받들고 있었다. 개돼지는 독재정권의 부당함을 이야기했지만, 먹고 사는 데에 쓰는 돈은 그 부당함에서 흘러나온 것들이었다. 그래서 개돼지는 아마 무너졌던 게 아닐까 싶다. 이렇든저렇든 시간의 굴곡은 굽이치고, 개돼지가 죽은지도 이제 10년이 다 되어간다. 천수를 누리고 간 독재자의 손자는 아직 죽지 않고 광주에서 고개를 숙였다. 아마 그러한 실존의 고민 없이 과실만을 맘 편히 누리는 자들은 오래, 그리고 잘 살 것이다. 개돼지와는 달리. * Cascade님에 의해서 티타임 게시판으로부터 게시물 복사되었습니다 (2023-04-11 07:47) * 관리사유 : 추천게시판으로 복사합니다. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 45
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Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 543
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 545
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 576
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant grant_delete - assumed 'grant_delete' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 429
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 599
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 599
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 600
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 600
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 614
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 616
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 620
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 640
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
26322 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
26322 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
26322'> 토비
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
23/03/30 14:08
26322>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
조용필 올라가는 추신수
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
26322>
26322>
