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홍차넷
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Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/zero_header.php on line 269
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Warning: Use of undefined constant title - assumed 'title' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 16
추천
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 21
Warning: Use of undefined constant header - assumed 'header' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 31
- 회원들이 추천해주신 좋은 글들을 따로 모아놓는 공간입니다.
- 추천글은 매주 자문단의 투표로 선정됩니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 519
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_category - assumed 'use_category' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/include/print_category.php on line 9
전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌게임문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제체육/스포츠과학철학/종교정치/사회요리/음식역사여행IT/컴퓨터음악창작사진
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Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 405
Warning: Use of undefined constant total_comment - assumed 'total_comment' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 406
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Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 2
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/memo_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 10
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| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 21/01/21 09:22:54 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | 사이시옷 |
| Subject | 34살, 그 하루를 기억하며 |
|
몸이 크게 안좋은 날이 아니면 대부분 일찍 일어났습니다. 새벽의 공기를 마시면 에너지가 들어오는 기분이었거든요. 베란다 창문을 살짝 연 틈으로 새벽 공기를 느끼고 직장에 가는 아내의 밥을 챙겨줍니다. 비록 어제 저녁에 먹었던 된장찌개라도, 몸에는 안좋지만 행복을 가져다 주는 스팸이라도 구워서 식탁에 올렸지요. 맛있게 먹어주는 아내의 얼굴을 잠깐 보고 배웅하면 이제 우두커니 혼자입니다. 설거지를 하고 티비를 켜면 아침 마당이 한창. 평생 눈에 들어오지 않는 방송이었는데 청소기를 들고 이 방, 저 방을 다녀도 내용이 귀에 쏙쏙 잘 들어옵니다. 청소기 작업이 끝나면 지난 번 생일 선물로 받은 물걸레 청소기로 원목 바닥을 천천히 밀고 나가면 청소가 끝납니다. 반짝반짝 새로 태어난 듯한 원목 바닥을 보면 마음도 깨끗해집니다. 하지만 청소가 끝나면 약정 끝난 핸드폰 마냥 체력이 다 떨어져 소파에 누울 수밖에 없는 것입니다. 통증이 없는 날이라 감사했지만 조금만 움직여도 몇 시간 누워있어야 하는 것은 꽤나 답답한 일이었습니다. 그렇게 눈을 붙이고 얼마나 지났을까. 반쯤 열어놓은 창 밖으로 살아있는 것들의 소리가 들려옵니다. 파란 트럭에서 들려오는 채소 아저씨의 목소리. 편의점 앞에서 들리는 직장인 아저씨들의 희미한 대화 소리. 11층인데도 솔솔 바람을 타고 소리가 귀로 기어들어옵니다. 그렇게 점심 때가 된 것이지요. 겨우 몸을 일으켜 먹을 것을 찾습니다. 보통은 남은 반찬에 남은 밥을 꾸역꾸역 먹곤 하는데 그렇게 하기엔 참을 수 없이 우울한 날이 찾아왔습니다. 조금 우울하면 편의점에서 4000원 짜리 도시락을 사서 올라오는데 오늘은 편의점 도시락 따위로 해결될 날은 아닙니다. 그러면 슬리퍼를 끌며 밖으로 나옵니다. 그리곤 집 근처 3000원짜리 짜장면을 파는 식당으로 가서 짜장 곱배기를 뱃속으로 밀어 넣습니다. 몇 분만에 후루룩 점심을 보내버리고 와이프가 준 만 원짜리로 계산을 한 다음 설렁 설렁 걷기 운동을 시작합니다. 집 근처엔 큰 공원이 있어 걷기 참 좋았습니다. 평일 낮 공원에 수 많은 사람들이 있다는 걸 전에는 몰랐지요. 처음엔 생경한 풍경에 놀랐다가 곧 자연스럽게 그 풍경의 일부로 녹아 들어갔습니다. 하릴 없이 걷다보면 계절이 보입니다. 겨우내 메말랐던 벚꽃 나무에는 봉우리가 조금씩 솟아 오르고 있습니다. 공원 옆 모교 옆을 지나며 안아프고, 건강하고, 쓸데없이 즐거웠던, 친구들과 복작복작했던 10대를 추억하기도 합니다. 지금 이 거리엔 저를 빼곤 아무도 남아 있지 않지만요. 걷다보면 약 기운 때문인지 어지럽습니다. 통증을 잡아주는 약이라는데 약을 먹으면 하루종일 영혼이 반쯤 나와있는 기분입니다. 눈의 총명함과 정신의 맑음을 80% 이상 빼앗긴 느낌이지요. 고통을 없애는 댓가가 일상 생활을 영위할 수 있는 활력이라니 많이 서글펐습니다. 게다가 몸이 정말 안 좋을 때 먹는 약은 글씨를 보아도 이해할 수 없는 디버프를 주어 좋아하는 책조차 읽을 수가 없었죠. 집에 돌아오면 방전된 몸을 다시 눕힙니다. 그리곤 4시 반 정도에 일어나 소파에 누워 와타나베의 건물 탐방을 봅니다. 의자를 유난히 좋아하는 반할아버지가 일본의 예쁜 집을 소개하는 프로그램입니다. 한 때는 이 프로그램을 보는게 생활의 유일한 낙이었습니다. 기분 좋게 방송을 보고 요리 채널로 돌리면 오늘 뭐 먹을까가 나옵니다. 차돌 된장찌개. 재료를 잘 숙지해서 마트로 달려갑니다. 장을 보고 돌아오는 길에 집 앞 지하철 역 안으로 쏙 들어갑니다. 개찰구 쪽에서 오랜만에 칼퇴한 와이프가 나옵니다. 한 손엔 장바구니, 한 손엔 와이프의 손을 잡고 재잘재잘 둘의 집으로 들어갑니다. 둘의 등 뒤로 해가 뉘엇뉘엇 넘어갑니다. 10년간의 30대 중에 8년을 병과 싸우며 지냈습니다. 그래서 30대의 대표적인 하루를 꼽아보면 신혼집에서 백수로 지내던 때가 생각납니다. 지독한 통증 속에서 언제 다시 어른으로서 1인분을 할 수 있을지가 가장 심각한 고민이었던 그 때. 지금 돌아보면 꽤나 평화롭게 느껴지는건 제 인생이 결국 -1인분에서 1인분에 가까워진 까닭이겠지요. 하지만 그 때는 하루 앞도 보이지 않았습니다. 보이지 않았습니다. 하루 앞도. 단 하루 앞도. * Cascade님에 의해서 티타임 게시판으로부터 게시물 복사되었습니다 (2021-02-02 12:09) * 관리사유 : 추천게시판으로 복사합니다. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 30 |
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Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 614
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 616
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 620
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 640
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
21858 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
21858 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
21858'> 해선
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
21/01/21 12:15
21858>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
건강하세요.
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
1
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
1
21858>
21858>
