Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 278
홍차넷
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 34
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 45
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 47
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 51
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 237
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 34
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 45
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 47
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 51
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 237
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/zero_header.php on line 269
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/zero_header.php on line 300
Warning: Use of undefined constant title - assumed 'title' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 16
질문
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 21
Warning: Use of undefined constant header - assumed 'header' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 31
- 질문 게시판입니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 519
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_category - assumed 'use_category' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/include/print_category.php on line 9
전체기타게임진로연애가정/육아체육/스포츠교육의료/건강철학/종교IT/컴퓨터여행과학문화/예술법률홍차넷경제
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/setup.php on line 29
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/setup.php on line 41
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 398
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 2
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/memo_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 10
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_category - assumed 'use_category' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 40
| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 20/05/07 20:31:42 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 수정됨 |
| Name | [익명] |
| Subject | 인간관계에서의 타인에 대한 신뢰 |
|
정신과 선생님께서 극도의 사회불안증, 우울증을 진단하시면서 본인에 대한 신뢰도 없고 타인에 대한 신뢰도 없다. 인간관계란 상호 신뢰를 기반으로 구축한다는걸 인지하고, 사람에 대한 신뢰를 가지라고 하셨습니다. 또한 타인과의 신뢰를 기반으로 인간관계를 형성하는게 현실적으로 어려울지언정, 본인 스스로에게까지 신뢰를 거두어선 안되는데, 저는 지금 스스로에 대한 신뢰가 없고 자신이 자신을 비즈니스 상대로 대하는 상태라고 하시더군요. 스스로 생각을 해보니, 어느정도는 옳은 말이라고 느껴졌고, 짧은 상담시간에도 그렇게 파악을 할 정도로 겉으로 태가 많이 나는건가 싶기도 했습니다. 저는 누군가와 정을 붙이거나 누군가에게 신뢰를 갖는데 있어서 시간이 훨씬 오래걸리는 편이고, 선이 두텁고 그걸 넘는걸 쉽게 허용하지 않는 편입니다. 사소한 선의나 호의를 받는것도 경계하고 꺼리는 편입니다. 대가없는 선의나 호의가 존재할 수도 있다고 머리로는 알고있지만, 마음으로는 받아들이지 못합니다. 선의나 호의를 받으면 상대가 무언가 나에게 바라는게 있을거라던가, 아니면 반드시 그에 상응하는 대가를 지불하여야한다는 강박같은게 있습니다. 받기만 하면 빚지는 기분이 들어서 꺼림칙한 느낌이 듭니다. 가족간에도 마찬가지입니다. 그래서 부모님이 자식인 저에게 베푸시는 인정, 사랑 등이 성인인 지금도 굉장히 어색하고 거북합니다. 연애관계도 마찬가지입니다. 친애나 경애와 같은 감정은 이해하고 알고있지만, 타인에 대한 무조건적인 감정으로서의 연애는 아직 이해하지 못하겠습니다. 기브 앤 테이크 정신이 뚜렷하달까요. 그런데 제가 능력이 미천하여 상대방에게 줄 게 별로 없으니 받기도 굉장히 꺼려하는 것 같습니다. 항상 이해득실을 계산하긴 하는데, 진짜 이해득실만 따지는 타입이라서 받기만 하고 주지않고 나몰라라 해서 맘편히 살 수 있다면 좋겠습니다만, 알량한 도덕심이나 착한사람 컴플렉스라도 갖고있는건지, 상대방이 먼저 베푼 선의에 대해 대가를 치르지 않으면 심리적으로 빚을 진 것 같아 굉장히 불편합니다. 반대로, 내가 무언가를 상대방에게 해준게 있다면 그만큼 상응하는 것을 받아야 하고요. 어느 쪽이던 심리적 부채가 쌓이게 되더군요. 이러한 대가를 치르거나 받는 상황들이 공적 영역과 사적 영역의 애매한 경계에 있거나, 또는 융통성을 발휘한다면 충분히 재량껏 가능하지만 원칙엔 어긋나는 경우가 종종 있습니다. 그래서 나를 그러한 상황에 놓이게 만든 상대방에 대한 거부감, 심리적상태 등 여러가지가 겹쳐 타인에 대한 경계심, 불신 등이 더 강화되지 않았나 싶습니다. 그래서 애초에 처음부터 그러한 불편감이 들지 않도록 타인에 대해 선을 좀 두텁게 긋는 편이고, 공사를 반드시 구분하며 원리원칙대로 타인을 대합니다. 처세술이 부족한 걸 스스로 알고있기에 나름 최선이 아니었나 싶네요. 좋게 말하면 주관이 뚜렷하고 강직하지만 나쁘게 말하면 정도 없고 융통성도 없으며 고지식한 거죠. 엄청 사소하더라도 내가 무언가 해주는 만큼의 대가를 아주 당연하게 요구하고, 도움받기를 싫어하는 건 내 편 만들기에는 최악의 성격이니 이것이 인간관계에도 영향을 미치고, 나아가 최근 이런저런 상황까지 겹쳐 우울과 사회불안까지 이어지지 않았나 싶습니다. 그런데 솔직히 저는 제가 가지고있는 이러한 마인드나 관계에서의 접근방식이 아직까지는 옳다고 생각하기에, 어떻게 바꿔야할지도 모르겠고, 바꿀 필요성을 크게 못느끼는 편입니다. 이러한 저의 마인드가 인간관계에서의 고독함, 고립, 외로움을 가져오는건 맞는 것 같은데, 어쨌든 손해보는 방향은 아니라는 생각이거든요. 그동안엔 다들 겉으론 내색을 안할 뿐이지, 사람이란 기본적으로 이기적이고 이해타산적이며 순수함에 기반한 관계형성은 없다는, 나와 같은 생각을 타인들도 마음 속으로는 하고 있을거라고 여겨왔는데, 정신과 진료도 받아보고, 사회생활 할 때 제 입장에선 당연한 언행이나 생각을 남들은 이상하게 여기는 걸 하나 둘 겪다보니 내가 뭔가 잘못하고 있는 거 아닐까? 내가 좀 유별난건 아닌가? 내가 잘못 생각하고 있고, 태도나 가치관을 바꿔야 하는거 아닐까? 싶은 생각이 들더군요. 여기 계신 분들은 어떻게 생각하시는지 궁금합니다. 위에 주절주절 써놓은 저의 이런 모습들에 대해 어떤 생각이 드시는지, 또는 본인에게 있어서 타인이라는 존재가 기본적으로 어떤 존재이고 타인에 대해 어떤 생각을 품고 살아가시는지 등등, 좋은 말씀 많이 들려주시고 저에게 조언을 주시면 감사하겠습니다. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 0 |
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Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 185
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_comment - assumed 'use_comment' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 540
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 542
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 543
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 545
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 576
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant grant_delete - assumed 'grant_delete' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 429
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 599
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 599
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 600
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 600
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 614
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 616
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 620
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 640
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 22
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
84154 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
84154 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
84154'> 알료사
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
20/05/07 20:46
84154>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
다른 사람과 무언가를 잘 주고 받는 성격이라 해서, 또 그로 인해 주변에 친구가 득시글거린다 해서 외로움은 덜어지지 않을겁니다. 바껴야 할 성격이라면 내가 지키고자 했어도 진작에 외부의 강제성에 의해 교정되었을 거고, 조금 유별나다 싶기는 해도 어찌저찌 지금까지 유지 가능했다면 앞으로도 유지하는게 좋을거라 생각해요. 우리나라가 어디 모난 사람 모난대로 살게 내버려두는 곳이던가요? ㅎㅎ 그리고 그 유별남이라는것도 관점에 따라 달리 볼 수 있는것이, 이를테면 내가 만명중 하나 있을가말까한 타입이라고 해도 그 만분의 일의 비율이 고대로부... 더 보기
다른 사람과 무언가를 잘 주고 받는 성격이라 해서, 또 그로 인해 주변에 친구가 득시글거린다 해서 외로움은 덜어지지 않을겁니다. 바껴야 할 성격이라면 내가 지키고자 했어도 진작에 외부의 강제성에 의해 교정되었을 거고, 조금 유별나다 싶기는 해도 어찌저찌 지금까지 유지 가능했다면 앞으로도 유지하는게 좋을거라 생각해요. 우리나라가 어디 모난 사람 모난대로 살게 내버려두는 곳이던가요? ㅎㅎ 그리고 그 유별남이라는것도 관점에 따라 달리 볼 수 있는것이, 이를테면 내가 만명중 하나 있을가말까한 타입이라고 해도 그 만분의 일의 비율이 고대로부터 죽 이어져 왔던 것이라면, 중세에도 만명에 한명꼴로 나같은 사람은 있었고 근대에도 있었고 또 지금 현대의 그 한명이 나라고 생각한다면 이것은 유별난 것이면서 유별난 것이 아니고 오히려 반드시 이 비율로 존재해야할 우주적 이유가 있을 것이라고... ㅋㅋ 저는 저 자신을 그렇게 설득하곤 합니다 ㅋ
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
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