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홍차넷
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사진
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- 자신이 직접 찍은 사진을 올리는 게시판입니다.
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전체기타풍경/야경인물/동물여행스냅일상스냅이벤트
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| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 16/09/13 20:03:10 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | SCV |
| File #1 | DSC01230.JPG (597.8 KB), Download : 9 |
| Subject | 그곳에는... |
 5년만이었다. 추억을 현실로 만든다는 것은 용감하지 않고서는 어려운 일이다. 사실 감당하기 힘들거라고 생각은 했지만 어쩔 수가 없었다. 사랑이라는 감정은 흩어지고 나서도 사람에게 묘한 기분을 주게 마련이다. 아무런 기대감도 상실감도 느끼기 어렵게 되어버렸지만 지나가버린 사랑은 왠지 창고에 오래도록 쳐박혀 눅눅해진 그녀의 편지같은 느낌을 주었다. 불태웠어야 했는데, 되뇌이며 나는 그 편지의 냄새를 더듬어본다. 곰팡이와 잉크의 체취를 걷어내고 그녀가 남긴 체향을 다시 느끼는 데 까지는 오랜 시간이 걸리지 않았다. 한때는 한 이불을 덮고 잤던 사이, 냄새는 생각보다 오래도록 기억에 남았다. 멀리서 본 그녀는 예전처럼 하얗게 웃지 못했다. 그도 그럴 것이 내가 한 번의 또 다른 이별을 하는 동안 그녀는 다섯 번의 새로운 이별을 했다. 알고 싶지 않은 일들이었지만 세상사는 이야기는 흘러흘러 원치 않는 사람의 귀에 까지 닿게된다. 그 동안 마음고생을 많이 한 모양이었다. 그래, 그렇게 나를 떠나 가더니. 그녀가 나를 떠난 이유는 내가 더 이상 필요하지 않다는 단단한 이유 뿐이었다. 나는 그 이유에서 어떤 흠집조차 발견하지 못했고, 아무런 감정 없는 눈빛으로 떠나는 그녀를 바라보며 속으로 눈물을 삼켰다. 한 걸음 다가간다. 처음 그녀에게 다가서던 일들이 기억난다. 그녀는 하얗게 웃었다. 예쁜 얼굴은 아니었지만 내가 처음으로 사랑했던 사람이다. 웃는 얼굴이 예뻐서 그렇게 기억 속에 남았다. 홧김에 술을 먹고 불태워버려서 사진은 남지 않았지만, 그녀와 함께 다니던 곳곳에 그녀의 하얀 웃음과 함께 추억이 있었다. 지금은 하얗게 웃고 있지 않았지만 그녀의 웃는 모습을 떠올리는 일은 그다지 어려운 일이 아니다. 이제 추억을 다시 현실로 되돌리는 구나, 하는 생각에 만감이 교차한다. 다시 한 걸음 더 다가간다. 그녀는 나를 바라보고 있다. 저 눈빛은 어색하지 않다. 오년 전에 내게 남겼던 그 눈빛 보다는 왠지 친근하다. 헤어진 뒤로는 연락을 끊었던 나와 그녀였다. 영원히 헤어지는 일 없이 오래도록 사귀자는 약속도 그녀의 한 마디 앞에서는 부질없었다. 하루에 전화를 두 세 시간을 해도 모자랄 듯 했지만 그 하루가 지나고 나서는 아무 말도 할 수 없었다. 그렇지만 5년이라는 세월은 짧지 않았다. 지금은 그녀와의 관계에 대해서 어떤 이름을 붙여야 할지는 매우 모호하지만 그냥 편의상 친구라고 해두자. 세 걸음 남았다. 그녀가 다시 하얗게 웃었다. 아무런 관계도 아니라고 생각했던 조금 전의 생각이 변하는 것 같다. 다시 시작 할 수 있을까. 서로 감정을 할퀴며 헤어졌지만 시간이 모든 것을 해결해준 다는 말은 틀리지 않았다. 이제 서로가 나이도 먹을 만큼 먹었고, 조금씩 이해할 때도 됐다. 나의 치기어림과 그녀의 미숙함도 아마 없어졌을 것이다. 아니, 이건 아니다. 문득 추억이 나를 괴롭힌다. 추억이라는 단어는 딱히 부정의 뜻을 담고 있는 것은 아니지만 그렇다고 좋은 것만 남아있진 않았다. 이건 미친 짓이야. 그저 첫 사랑이 궁금해서 만나는 것 뿐이라고, 나에게도 그녀에게도 가능성이라는것은 5년전 그 때 이미 지워진 것이라고 스스로에게 외쳐본다. 남자의 가슴에는 여러개의 방이 있고, 그 방 안에는 그동안 사랑했던 여자들이 다 남아있다는데. 그녀의 방에서 나는 5년전에 체크아웃을 했을 뿐이다. 두 걸음 남았다. 그녀가 고개를 숙였다. 긴 머리 사이로 보이는 가냘프고 예쁜 귀는 예전 모습 그대로다. 이런, 그녀의 체취가 느껴진다. 함께 했던 시간들이 순간 무수히 스쳐 지나간다. 제길. 그녀와의 섹스는 달콤했다. 결코 잊을 수 없는 세월들을 나는 어떻게 잊고 살았을까. 그녀가 풍기는 아릿한 향기에 두근거리기 시작했다. 이건 아닌데 싶으면서도 한 걸음 더 다가갈 수 밖에 없었다. 약속은 약속이라고. 적어도 헤어져 있던 동안의 반 만이라도 이야기 해야 한다고 다잡으며 남은 두 걸음을 한번에 내 디뎠다. 앉아서 심호흡을 크게 했다. 고개를 들 수 없었다. 숨을 깊게 들이쉬는 순간 나는 개미처럼 모든걸 다 느꼈다. 지금 함께 있는 자리도 우리가 처음 만났던 그곳, 나는 5년전으로 돌아간 듯 했다. 용기를 내어 그녀를 바라보았다. 그리고, 그곳에는 아무도 없었다. #photo_by_SCV #written_by_SCV #with_RX100mk4 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 2 |
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Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
4784 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
4784 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
4784'> 파란아게하
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
16/09/14 08:43
4784>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
잘 보고 잘 읽고 갑니다
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
4784>
4784>
