Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 278
홍차넷
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 34
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 45
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 47
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 51
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 237
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 34
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 45
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 47
Warning: Use of undefined constant r - assumed 'r' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/outlogin_toby.php on line 51
Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 237
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/zero_header.php on line 269
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/zero_header.php on line 300
Warning: Use of undefined constant title - assumed 'title' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 16
질문
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 21
Warning: Use of undefined constant header - assumed 'header' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 31
- 질문 게시판입니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 519
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_category - assumed 'use_category' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/include/print_category.php on line 9
전체기타게임진로연애가정/육아체육/스포츠교육의료/건강철학/종교IT/컴퓨터여행과학문화/예술법률홍차넷경제
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/setup.php on line 29
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Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 398
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 2
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/memo_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 10
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_category - assumed 'use_category' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 40
| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 20/11/22 02:12:46 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | [익명] |
| Subject | 26살 되서야 사회성을 기르려는 사람이 있습니다. |
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저는 어렸을 때부터 아싸였고, 혼자서 취미를 즐길 때가 많았습니다. 대학 올라와서도 동아리나 동호회 두어 개 참여했지만, 거기 안에서도 늘 겉돌았어요. 사람들과의 교류는 제한적이었고, 가끔 만나 수다떠는 단계 이상으로 넘어간 사람이 없었습니다. 서로 디스박으면서 웃는 친구들을 보면서 나는 왜 저리 못 될까.. 죄책감이 들었습니다. 그 덕에 제 사회성 수준은 끔찍합니다. 마이너한 취미와, 학술적인 주제에 몰두하고, 24시간 내내 이런 주제로 머리가 가득 찬 인간이 되었죠. 취미생활과 대학원->학자/연구원이라는 커리어에는 도움이 되었지만, 사람들이랑 어울리는데는 별 도움이 되지 않았습니다. 그러다 최근 되어서야 이런 저질사회성 그대로 가면 큰일나겠다는 위기의식을 가졌고, 가족과 (몇 안되는) 친구, 지인들에게 SOS를 요청했습니다. 여럿에게 들은 이야기를 종합하자면 좀 충격적입니다. 1. 대화할 때 단어 선택을 너무 논문 보듯 격식 갖춰서, 문어체로, 현학적으로 한다. 또래랑은 말하는 방식이 많이 다르다. [매사에 학술적인 주제에 몰두한 부작용인가봐요] 2, 남이 말할 때 잘 듣질 않는다. 3. 밥을 쩝쩝대면서 먹는다. 4. 걸음걸이가 이상하다. 5. 목소리 톤이 어색하다. 6. 확실한 개성은 있지만, 1.-5. 때문에 개성이 눈에 안 띠고 타인이 보기엔 비호감으로만 인식할 가능성이 높다. 7. 다른 사람이 타인과 지내는 동안 너는 25년동안을 집에서만 혼자 있었다. 꾸준하게 높은 강도로 개선시켜야 한다. ... 저도 스스로의 문제는 잘 알고 있었지만, 이 정도로 심각할 줄은 몰랐습니다. 특히 6번. 제가 흔한 쓰레기 민폐남까지는 아니어서 이상한 애를 넘어 비호감으로 인식될 줄은 몰랐거든요. 물론 저도 노력은 합니다. 우선 예전보다 사람들을 한 10배는 자주 만나려 노력하고요(바쁘지 않다면 못해도 1주일에 한 번은 밥약을 잡을 생각입니다) 말할 때 의식하면서 내뱉는 말을 조절하려 하고, 또 경청하려는 태도를 갖추려 합니다. 쩝쩝대면서 먹는 건 의식하고 고치려 합니다. 걸음걸이도 발을 안쪽으로 돌리는 식으로 바꾸려 하고, 목소리 톤도 아는 사람에게 발성법을 배워서 고치려 합니다. 하지만 이미 사회성 개선하기에 너무 늦은 건 아닌지 후회도 듭니다. 다들 모여서 매일같이 술 먹을 나이도 이제 곧 지납니다. 다시말해 배울 기회가 줄어든다는 이야기죠. 대학원 생활은 사실상 반직업이라 좀 다른 이야기가 됩니다. 그리고 이미 타인과 사회성 차이가 많이 벌어져서 얼마나 메꿀 수 있을지도 모르겠고요. 코로나19로 만남에 제약이 생겨 더 그렇습니다. 제가 하고 싶은 질문은 크게 셋입니다. 1. 제가 사회성을 향상시키기에 너무 늦은 건 아닐까요? 향상이 가능하더라도 약간만 가능한 게 아닌지 걱정됩니다. 2. 일단 제 목표는 "연애를 해 볼 수 있을 정도로 사회성을 개선"하는 건데, 이 목표가 실현 가능할까요? (모솔인데, 흔히 이야기하는 '이 때까지 연애 못하면 평생 못하는' 경계값의 나이라 더 불안합니다. 몇 년 내로 못하면 진짜 평생 못할 것 같거든요.) 3. 위에 제가 써둔 노력에 더해서, 사회성을 기르기 위해 따로 해야될 게 있나요? 비슷한 고민을 해봤거나, 비슷한 처지었던 지인을 두신 분들의 답변을 특히 환영합니다. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 0 |
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Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 616
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
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Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 620
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
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Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 640
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 22
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
95056 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
95056 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
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Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
95056'> 옆쪽승리
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
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20/11/22 02:44
95056>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
1. 전혀 아닙니다. 사회성은 타고나는 어떤 능력이 아니라 익힐 수 있는 기술이라고 생각합니다.
2. 1에 더해서 가능합니다.
저는 사회성이란 건 다른 사람 앞에서 얼마나 연기할 수 있느냐의 정도라고 생각합니다.
가족과도 100% 오픈할 수 없는데 타인은 더하겠죠. 진짜 나를 보여줄 필요가 없습니다.
다만 나에게 기대하는 모습이 있고, 그걸 충족시켜주면 자주 만날 수 있습니다. 인기도 생기구요.
사회성을 키우기 위해 너무 노력하지 마세요. 열심히 힘을 들이는 만큼 관계에 대한 기대를 높이게 됩니다.
사람과 ... 더 보기
2. 1에 더해서 가능합니다.
저는 사회성이란 건 다른 사람 앞에서 얼마나 연기할 수 있느냐의 정도라고 생각합니다.
가족과도 100% 오픈할 수 없는데 타인은 더하겠죠. 진짜 나를 보여줄 필요가 없습니다.
다만 나에게 기대하는 모습이 있고, 그걸 충족시켜주면 자주 만날 수 있습니다. 인기도 생기구요.
사회성을 키우기 위해 너무 노력하지 마세요. 열심히 힘을 들이는 만큼 관계에 대한 기대를 높이게 됩니다.
사람과 ... 더 보기
1. 전혀 아닙니다. 사회성은 타고나는 어떤 능력이 아니라 익힐 수 있는 기술이라고 생각합니다.
2. 1에 더해서 가능합니다.
저는 사회성이란 건 다른 사람 앞에서 얼마나 연기할 수 있느냐의 정도라고 생각합니다.
가족과도 100% 오픈할 수 없는데 타인은 더하겠죠. 진짜 나를 보여줄 필요가 없습니다.
다만 나에게 기대하는 모습이 있고, 그걸 충족시켜주면 자주 만날 수 있습니다. 인기도 생기구요.
사회성을 키우기 위해 너무 노력하지 마세요. 열심히 힘을 들이는 만큼 관계에 대한 기대를 높이게 됩니다.
사람과 사람 사이에 지켜야 되는 예의만 준수하신다면 맞는 사람은 꼭 있습니다.
2. 1에 더해서 가능합니다.
저는 사회성이란 건 다른 사람 앞에서 얼마나 연기할 수 있느냐의 정도라고 생각합니다.
가족과도 100% 오픈할 수 없는데 타인은 더하겠죠. 진짜 나를 보여줄 필요가 없습니다.
다만 나에게 기대하는 모습이 있고, 그걸 충족시켜주면 자주 만날 수 있습니다. 인기도 생기구요.
사회성을 키우기 위해 너무 노력하지 마세요. 열심히 힘을 들이는 만큼 관계에 대한 기대를 높이게 됩니다.
사람과 사람 사이에 지켜야 되는 예의만 준수하신다면 맞는 사람은 꼭 있습니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
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Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
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