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홍차넷
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티타임
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- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
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전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
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| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 19/08/05 13:30:36 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | 장생 |
| File #1 | wNinf[1].jpg (44.1 KB), Download : 8 |
| Subject | 팬이 아이돌을 생각하는 마음은 매우 복잡하다 |
 팬이 아이돌을 생각하는 마음은 매우 복잡하다 연애감정 조금, 동료의식 조금, 한없이 돌봐주고 싶은 감정(통용되는 의미로서의 모성애 비슷한) 조금에다 동경 조금 내가 못 이룬 주목받고 화려한 삶에 대한 자아의탁도 조금 들었고 아무런 대가 없이 줘도 안아까운 스스로에 대한 고양감도 조금 있을지 모르지 분명한 건 아이돌을 대하는 팬의 마음은 '유사연애' '육아' 머 이런 쉬운 단어들로 종결을 지어버릴 수 없는 복잡한 감정인데... 그래서 덕질을 해 본, 그 감정이 마음에 뿌리내려본 사람은 계속해서 누군갈 덕질할 수 있지만 그게 안되는 사람은 절대로 이해를 못하기도 한다 대체 어떻게 좋다는 거야? 이성적으로? 아님 그냥 순수한 응원? 덕심은 순수하지만 욕망이 결부되어 있다 성적욕망이 아니라 내 아이돌이 '더 잘 되는 거' 에 대한 욕망... 내가 얠 시간과 돈 갈아서 좋아하는 게 실력이든 작품성이든 대중성이든 갖춰서 타인의 입에 오르내리고 좋은 평가를 받으며 한 단계 한 단계 오를 때의 그 희열 내가 틀리지 않았다는 확신 그리고 그걸 반드시 나의 아이돌도 원하고 있고 같은 목표를 향해 가고 있다는 동질감 앞에서 동료 의식이라고 표현한 그 감정땜에 밤새서 스밍하고 공방가서 추위에 떨고 더위에 괴롭고 콘서트 매진시키고 앨범 이백장 사는거임. 그래서 팬들이 아이돌에게 와장창하는 순간은 그 동료의식, 동질감을 내 아이돌이 지 손으로 깨부실 때이다 지금 나를비롯 유니들이 개빡친원인은 아이돌의 연애이지만 그게 단순히 연애라는 표상으로 나타났을 뿐이지 본질은 우리가 형성한(했다고 생각한) 라포가 깨졌기 때문이다 죤나리 와장창 내가 왜 개고생을 했냐? 쟤랑 난 같은 팀이었거든. 내가 왜 쌩돈을 존나 썼던가? 쟤가 잘되는게 내가 잘 되는 거거든. 근데 난데없이 내 멱살 잡고 내 면전에다 대고 '우린 같은 팀이 아니야' 눈똑바로 뜨고 말해버린 상황인거지 팬들에겐 미안하지만 솔직하고 싶었어요였나 기억도 안나는데 아마 그 멘트 치신 분은 누군가의 덕후였던 적이 한번도 없었을 거다. 덕후의 마음이 그토록 다채롭고 복잡한 줄 몰랐을 거야. 나랑 사귀자면 싫지만(나따위랑 어떻게) 연애감정이 아닌건 아니고, 끝까지 사랑한다 했지만 조건도 있다는거 영원히 좋아한다고 말한건 우리가 같은 팀일 때를 전제로 하는 거야. 그래 유사연애 감정때메 상처받은 사람 있을 수도 있다 그래서 어쩔건데 그러면 안되냐? 나 아닌 다른 여자 만나다니 질투ㅠㅠ 이 수준이면 깨춤을 추지 시발. 너 내거잖아 ㅠ 이딴 유치한 독점욕이 아니다. 내 아이돌이 내 뺨 후려치고 '너랑 나는 한 번도 생각이 같은 적이 없었어' 하는 꼴이다. 지금 이 순간만 다른 것도 아니고. 잠깐 한 일주일정도 달라진 것도 아니고. 우리가 만난 이후로 매일매일이 너는 너대로 나는 나대로 다른 생각을 하고 있었음에도 같은 생각을 하고 있었다고 착각했다는 걸 깨달았을 때의 허탈함 그건 몇백년이 흘러도 보상이 안된다. 연애 왜못해 할수도 있지. 다만 그게 나와 내 아이돌 목적추구에 똥물 퍼붓는 일이 되어서는 안되지. 어? 어떻게 이런 식으로 똥을 바르지? 실수인가? 근데 어떻게 이런 실수를 하지? 그럼 얘의 목표는 이게 아니었던 건가? 그럼 나는 뭐지? 왜 달렸지? 이런 회한같은거 시발ㅠ 그게 얼마나 사람 좆같이 만드는지 알아요? 예? 하나도 빠짐없이 그지같았다. 밝혀진 방식, 사귀었던 기간, 후속 대처, 터지고 난 뒤 무대에서의 태도, 그 후로 일어난 짜잘한 사고들(사진찍힌거 닉넴바꾼거...) 모두가 고래고래 외치는 격이다 너랑 나는 생각이 달라!!! 난 너랑 한번도 같은 편인 적이 없었어!!!! 본인이 아이돌이 뭔 역사적 사명(ㅋ)을 띈 직업인지 알았건 몰랐건 솔직히 내 알 바 아닌데 다른 하고자하는 멤버들한테 이딴 식으로 똥주는 거는 그릇되다 못해 세상의 정의는 과연 존재하는가 철학적 의문을 던지게 한다 솔직한게 좋겠지 미안하다고 사과하면 되겠지 단순하게 생각했겠지만 그의 행동은 되돌리기 힘든 범주였고 당일 여친 어깨에 손을 올리면서 팬들의 행복회로 돌릴 기회마저 차단하며 원자폭탄 터뜨리듯 초토화 시켜버렸다 뭐 그걸 좋은 무대로 갚아? ㅋㅋ 그 무대 봐줄 사람 다 뒤졌다 덕심이란게 존나게 델리케-뜨 해서 a넣는다고 b나오지 않는건데 아 연애한다고 이렇게까지? 넘하네ㅠ 좋아하면 내가 진심으로 하는 사랑 응원해줘야 하는 거 아냐? 생각한다면 캘리포니아주 오산이다 이거예요... 소재가 연애라서 그렇지 그가 한 행동의 주제는 동질감을 찾을 여지마저 차단하는 이질성의 전시였다. 너랑 닮은 사람이랑 행복하게 잘 사시고, 이제 우리가 우리 팀을 꾸릴 수 있게 이쯤에서 빠져 주세요. ================================================================================== 펜타곤 이던과 현아가 깨방정 난리부르스 치던 시절 펜타곤 팬이 쓴 트윗입니다. 내 돌 열애설 터지면 팬들이 주섬주섬 꺼내서 읽고 눈물 흘리며 마음을 추스르는 명문이지요. 덕질 안하는 일반인(?)의 생각은 아이돌도 사람인데 연애 좀 하며 안되냐 가 거의 대부분이라고 생각합니다. 근데 덕후들은 [하지만...그게 아니라고...하여튼 존내...그런게 아닌데...]를 잘 표현한 글입니다. 이던은 똥을 스프링쿨러로 뿌리면서 탈퇴한 수준이라 이번 강다니엘-지효 열애설에는 빗대기 좀 그럴순 있지만...뭐 대충 이렇습니다. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 6
이 게시판에 등록된 장생님의 최근 게시물
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Warning: Use of undefined constant memo - assumed 'memo' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 545
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 576
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant grant_delete - assumed 'grant_delete' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 577
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 425
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 429
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 599
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 599
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 600
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 600
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 614
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 616
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 620
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 640
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
127558 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
127558 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
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Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
19/08/05 13:32
127558>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
"아무런 대가 없이 줘도 안아까운 스스로에 대한 고양감" --> ㅇㄱㄹㅇ
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
1
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
1
127558>
127558>
