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홍차넷
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티타임
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- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
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전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
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| Date |
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| Name | 기아트윈스 |
| Subject | [육아단상] 선녀와 나무꾼 이야기 |
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선녀와 나무꾼 이야기는 크게 세 부분으로 나뉜다. (1) 선녀와 나무꾼이 결혼해서 애 낳고 살게 되지만 결국 선녀가 날개옷을 입고 애들 데리고 가버림. (2) 나무꾼이 두레박을 타고 하늘나라로 올라가 가족이 재결합. (3) 나무꾼이 홀어머니가 보고 싶어 천마를 타고 잠시 내려왔다가 어머니가 준 팥죽을 말 등에 흘리는 바람에 말이 놀라 가버림. 본인은 가족이 그리워 울다가 치킨이 됨. 나는 예전부터 이 이야기를 매우 좋아했는데, 그 중 가장 흥미로운 부분은 역시 (1)번, 그 중에서도 아이를 몇 낳느냐 하는 곳이었다. 버전에 따라 다르지만 어디서는 둘, 또 어디서는 셋이라고 하는데, 요지는 특정 수의 아이를 낳기 전까지는 와이프에게 날개옷을 돌려주어선 안 된다는 뜻이다. 이 경고의 심각성, 그리고 그 심각성을 인지하지 못하고 경고를 무시함으로써 벌어진 비극을 감안한다면 사실 2번이나 3번은 그저 에필로그나 다름 없다고 해도 될 정도이다. 여성의 아이덴터티는 (사실 남성이야 안그렇겠냐마는) 중층적이다. 어떤 남성의 아내이기도 하고 누군가의 어머니이기도 하고 동시에 또 누군가의 딸이기도 하다. 남자를 만나 결혼하고 아이를 낳고 또 아이들을 기르는 과정 속에서 해당 여성은 딸에서 아내로, 아내에서 어머니로의 점진적인 변화를 겪는다. 실제로 겪어보기 전, 나는 이게 매우 극적인 변화일 거라고 지레 짐작했었다. 뭐라고 정당화는 못하겠지만, 어쩐지 아이를 낳고 나면 내 아내가 뿅 하고 모성본능의 화신이 되고 뭐 그럴 것 같은 [기분]이 들었다. 현실은 대단히 점진적이었다. 이 점진적인 변화는 상당히 모호하고 누적적인 것인지라 단순히 애가 몇 살 때 쯤 되면 이제 어머니로서의 아이덴터티가 다른 모든 걸 압도한다 이런 식으로 단언하기 어렵다. 민간의 지혜는 이 모호한 경계선을 [아이 둘] 혹은 [셋]과 같은 식으로 묘사했지만, 뭐 꼭 그게 정해져있겠는가. 어쨌든, 나무꾼이 선녀에게 날개옷을 보여준 그 시점에서 선녀는 아직 아내이자 어머니라기보다는 누군가의 딸이었던 셈이고, 그래서 애들을 데리고 친정으로 가버린 것이리라. 이야기의 또 다른 백미는 가족 내에서 아버지 역할의 비본질성이라고 생각한다. 결혼 전에도 나무꾼의 가정은 모자가정이었고, 남성의 생물학적 임무를 완수하기 위한 짧은 동거기간이 끝난 후에 선녀는 다시 자기만의 모자가정을 꾸리고, 나무꾼은 다시 기존의 모자가정으로 돌아간다. 이 이야기 속에선 아버지가 존재하고 항구적인 역할을 수행하는 가정이란 없다. 아버지의 확고부동한, 필연적인 존재이유는 찍 싸는 것, 그게 전부다. 그 후에는 그저 있으면 좋을지 몰라도 없어도 큰 상관 없으며, 꽤 쉽게 연을 끊을 수 있는 그런 존재일 뿐이다. 어머니와 아이들이 쇠사슬로 묶여 있다면, 아버지는 그들을 두 손으로 꼭 붙잡고 있는 것 같다. 모자간은 진하고 끈적한데, 부자간은 느슨하고 위태롭다. 작년 이맘 때, 와이프가 아이들을 데리고 귀국했다. 약속된 시간은 두 달. 헌데 돌아올 즈음에 이미 와이프는 아이들과 함께 한국에서 나름 안정감 있는 생활 환경을 구축했고, 그래서인지 내게 [좀 미루고 더 있으며 안]되냐고 물어왔다. 나는 어쩐지 불안해졌다. 가족인데, 내 처와 내 자식들인데 뭐가 그리 불안한지 자문했지만 답은 나오지 않았고, 정체 불명의 불안감만 스멀스멀 기어나왔다. 난 그 느낌을 솔직하게 고백했고, 가능한한 약속된 시간에 맞춰 다시 돌아와주십사 부탁했다. 헤어지기 전에는 울면서 엄마 대신 아빠를 찾던 아이들이 이젠 내 얼굴을 보고 놀라 울며 엄마 뒤에 숨었지만, 그래도 두 달의 틈을 메꾸는 데 1주일 이상 걸리진 않았다. 내가 무언가 중요한 걸 놓칠 뻔 했다는 느낌은 아이들의 반응을 보며 거의 확신으로 변했고, 선녀와 나무꾼 이야기를 다시 떠올려보게 되었다. 이웃에 사는 이탈리아 남자는 일본 여자와 결혼해서 딸 하나가 있다. 딸이 이제 막 돌이 지났는데, 두어달 전 모녀가 일본으로 돌아가 친정방문을 한 이후로 귀국일을 벌써 두 번째 미뤘다고 한다. 처자식을 일본으로 보낼 무렵 그는 육아로부터 해방되어 신나게 게임하고 만화볼 생각에 들떠있었는데, 오늘 보니 어쩐지 외롭고 불안해보였다. 나는 [꼭 처자식이 이곳으로 돌아오길 바란다]라고 위로를 해줄까 생각하다, 그 말을 꺼내는 게 오히려 무례하고 이상하게 느껴져서 곧 그만두었다. 혼자 먹기엔 좀 양이 많은 티라미수 케익을 가져다 주며, 나중에 처자식이 돌아오고 나면 더 많이 해주겠다고 했다. 그의 기분이 좀 나아졌길 바랄 뿐이다. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 0 이 게시판에 등록된 기아트윈스님의 최근 게시물
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Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 620
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 640
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
8957 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
8957 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
8957'> 지니
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
15/07/12 13:13
8957>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
기아트윈스님의 글을 읽어보니
정말 가족은 같이 붙어서 살아야한다는 생각이드네요
주위에도 자녀교육을 한다고 외국으로 나가고 그러는데
돌아와서 이혼이나 별거를 하는사람들이 많다고 하더라구요
그걸 보면서 느낀건 정말이지...아무리 교육이 중요하다 한들
가족보다 더 중요한가 ....싶네요
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
정말 가족은 같이 붙어서 살아야한다는 생각이드네요
주위에도 자녀교육을 한다고 외국으로 나가고 그러는데
돌아와서 이혼이나 별거를 하는사람들이 많다고 하더라구요
그걸 보면서 느낀건 정말이지...아무리 교육이 중요하다 한들
가족보다 더 중요한가 ....싶네요
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
8957>
8957>
