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홍차넷
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티타임
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- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
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전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
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| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 16/04/20 19:16:50 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | 레이드 |
| Subject | [조각글 22주차] 봄봄봄 |
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[조각글 22주차 주제] '봄날 풍경'으로 동화나 동시 짓기 *주제 선정자의 말 [시니컬하거나 냉소적이거나 혹은 비판적이거나 하면 안되고 정말 동화나 동시 있죠! 그걸로요 ^.^] - 분량, 장르, 전개 방향 자유입니다. 맞춤법 검사기 http://speller.cs.pusan.ac.kr/PnuSpellerISAPI_201504/ 합평 받고 싶은 부분 ex) 맞춤법 틀린 것 있는지 신경써주세요, 묘사가 약합니다, 서사의 흐름은 자연스럽나요?, 문체가 너무 늘어지는 편인데 조언을 부탁드립니다, 글 구성에 대해 조언을 받고 싶습니다, 맘에 안 드는 것은 전부 다 말씀해주세요, 등등 자신이 글을 쓰면서 유의깊게 봐주었으면 하는 부분 등등을 얘기해주시면 덧글을 달 때 많은 도움이 될 것 같습니다. 하고 싶은 말 본문 봄봄봄 가만 가만 귀를 기울여요 크게 크게 외치는 소리, 얼른 얼른 옷 갈아입는 소리, 부끄 부끄 다가오는 소리 얼른 얼른 보고 싶어요 노란색, 분홍색, 보라색, 알록달록 색깔로 염색한 꽃을 두근 두근 궁금해요 도담 도담 빼꼼 고개 내미는 새싹들이 안녕 안녕 인사해요 내 마음에 조금씩 꽃 피는 봄 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 1 이 게시판에 등록된 레이드님의 최근 게시물 |
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Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
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37526 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
37526 class='vcm '>
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37526'> 얼그레이
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16/04/20 20:42
37526>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
의성어와 의태어, 단어를 반복하면서 운율감이 느껴지는 좋은 시였어요.
봄에 피는 꽃들의 모습을 그려내는 것은 좋았으나 조금 아쉬운 생각이 들어요.
1연의
\'크게 크게 외치는 소리, 얼른 얼른 옷 갈아입는 소리, 부끄 부끄 다가오는 소리\'
부분은 정확히 무엇에 대한 이야기인지 서술이 부족한 것 같아요.
봄이 오는 모습을 외치고, 갈아입고, 다가오는 것으로 표현한 것인지 등에 대해 조금 의아함이 듭니다.
또 2연에선 \'염색\'이라는 표현보단 \'물들이다\'라는 표현이 더 좋을 것 같아요.
재밌게 읽었습니다. 다음 글도 기대하겠습니다.
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봄에 피는 꽃들의 모습을 그려내는 것은 좋았으나 조금 아쉬운 생각이 들어요.
1연의
\'크게 크게 외치는 소리, 얼른 얼른 옷 갈아입는 소리, 부끄 부끄 다가오는 소리\'
부분은 정확히 무엇에 대한 이야기인지 서술이 부족한 것 같아요.
봄이 오는 모습을 외치고, 갈아입고, 다가오는 것으로 표현한 것인지 등에 대해 조금 의아함이 듭니다.
또 2연에선 \'염색\'이라는 표현보단 \'물들이다\'라는 표현이 더 좋을 것 같아요.
재밌게 읽었습니다. 다음 글도 기대하겠습니다.
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Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
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