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홍차넷
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Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/zero_header.php on line 269
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/zero_header.php on line 300
Warning: Use of undefined constant title - assumed 'title' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/bbs_title.php on line 16
티타임
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- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_formmail - assumed 'use_formmail' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 519
Warning: Use of undefined constant use_category - assumed 'use_category' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/include/print_category.php on line 9
전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
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Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 398
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| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 15/06/04 00:20:35 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | 민트밀크라떼 |
| Subject | 한사람만 바라본 짝사랑 이야기[주의 : 암울합니다. 매우] |
|
[제가 요즘 듣는 노래입니다.] 제목은 스노우드라이브, 원곡은 하츠네미쿠가 부르고 지금 영상에서는 내지르기로 유명한 우타이테 아라키님이 부르셨습니다. 저는 인생 살면서 순탄한 적이 한 번도 없었습니다. 초중고내내 학교에서 따돌림을 당했었고.. (그 때 당한것도 엄청 많았어요. 제 교과서를 불태운다던지, 삥뜯는건 일상이고, 교복이나 체육복을 찢어놓는다던지 등등) 그 내내 친구가 없었습니다. 원인은 서브컬쳐를 좋아했던지라 당시 반이나 학교에 일반인들이 이상한놈 취급하는건 당연했습니다. (진짜 일반인들밖에 없었습니다) 부모님은 제 모습을 보고 오히려 저더러 사회악이라고 그랬고.. 그야말로 최악이었습니다. 유일한 제 희망이었던게 작곡이었는데, 손까지 다치며 실기를 포기해야했습니다. 어쩌다가 2년제 전문대 가고 추후 편입까지 했는데.. 아직도 제 심리상태는 파도치듯이 요동치고 정말 힘드네요. 지금 아르바이트도 하고 있지만 언제 어떻게될지 모르고.. 외로운 마음이 들어.. 조금이라도 위로 받고싶기도 해서 퇴근하자마자 적어봅니다. [현재 짝사랑은 아직도 현재진행중이며 지금까지 3년가까이 짝사랑했습니다] 짝사랑을 만나게 된 계기는 오락실이었습니다. 저는 리게이 현재진행형입니다. 당시 오락실을 처음 갔었을 때 저는 완전 흔하디 흔한 양민유저였어요. (지금도 사볼 13 노멀 간신히 낑낑거리면서 하는 양민 유저긴 하지만) 성격도 소극적이고 아무것도 못했던 제가 카드를 놓으려고 하는데.. "님, 이거 대기 잘하셔야죠." "뭐에요?" 대기매너를 당시 모르고 있던 저라 주변의 집중포화를 맞는데 지금 짝사랑하고 있는 사람이 나타나서 다른 사람들에게 이렇게 얘기하는거에요. "님들 초보시절 어디로 가셨어요?" 그냥 툭 내뱉는 말이긴했는데 그냥 구원받는 기분이었어요. 그 사람은 저 보더니 이것저것 알려주더라고요. 성격도 좋고, 말빨도 좋아서 친구는 많은 사람이고요. [그사람은 A라고 칭할게요.] 저보다 나이는 1살 많아요. 가을에 생일이고요. A씨 얼굴이요? 그렇게 사람의 흥미를 끌만한 얼굴은 아니에요. 다만 목소리가 진짜 좋고 손도 되게 이쁜 편이더라고요. 분위기가 그 사람만 오면 바뀌는 그런 오오라가 있고.. 그 때 당시에는 호텔조리과를 다녔던 A님이었던지라 가끔 과자도 들고 찾아와서 같이 먹고 리듬게임도 배웠어요. 처음에는 그 사람을 동경으로 봤어요. 제가 진짜 꼭 본받고 싶은 사람이고 정말 좋은 면면을 다 가진 사람이라서요. 말빨이라던지 활발한 성격이라던지 등등.. 그 사람에게 구원받았던 저인지라 그 사람에게 진 빚을 꼭 갚아야한다고 생각하고있었어요. 제가 예전에 따돌림당했지만 비위맞춰줄라고 그 학생들이 원하는걸 해주기도 했어요. (빵셔틀..이라던지 숙제 대신하기 라던지) 그 때만이라도 칭찬을 받으니까 다른 사람들에게 봉사하는 정신으로 살아야한다는 생각에 진짜 진 빚은 꼭 갚고 싶었어요. 대학교 친구들도 없던 저에겐 그 사람이 최후의 희망이었어요. 연락처도 비상연락처에 등록하고 있고.. 그런데 동경이라는 마음.. 계속 유지할 수는 없나봐요. 짝사랑에 빠졌으니까요. 진짜 좋아하게 되었어요. 그래서 고백을 하려고했는데.. 그런 용기가 없어서.. 러브레터 작성한 것만 6장이었는데 그 6장을 전부 불태워버렸습니다. 이렇게 허접한 저인데 어떻게 고백을 하겠나요.. 조력자도 없습니다. 친구들도 없어서 어떻게 상담을 해야할지 몰라 가슴에 꾹꾹 담아두고 있습니다. 저는 그 사람에 비하면 모자란게 너무 많아요.. 그 사람은 정말 장점이 가득하고 완벽한데.. 저는 잘하는게 거의 없어서.. 그러던 중에 그 사람이 학교를 아예 자퇴했습니다. 좀 흥미가 떨어지고 다른 일 찾아보고 있다는 이유로요. 그리고는 가업을 이어받았어요. 그탓에 바쁘고요. 저는 지금 돈벌고 있지만.. 그사람과 더이상 나란히 할 수 있는 시간이 없어져간다는게 슬펐고.. 제가 약속을 먼저 잡아야하는 경우인데.. (그사람이 잡는경우는 거의없고요) 제가 용기가 없고.. 집착하는거 같을까봐 일상연락도 잘 못하겠고.. 약속은 더더욱 못잡겠죠.. 지금 그 심정이 일상생활에도 지장이 오는게.. 일단 잠을 못 자고있어서 수면유도제 먹고 있고요.. 노래 스타일도 우울한것만 듣게 되고.. 자꾸 울고 싶고 그래요. 고백해서 실패하면 제 최후의 희망이자 유일한 친구가 사라지는거라 진짜 그 이후 감당을 어떻게해야할지 모르겠어요. 짝사랑이랑 연인이 되면 해보고 싶은게 많아요. - 평일에 저물어가는 노을 보기 퇴근시간이 제가 매우 늦게퇴근해요. 거의 심야가까이되서 퇴근하는데, A씨는 6시에 퇴근하거든요. 저는 노을을 볼 수 없는 평일시간대라.. 그 사람과 언제 노을을 한 번 볼 수 있었음 좋겠어요. 월급까이건 뭐건 좋으니까.. 1년도 안된 신입이라 반차도 못내니까 땡땡이라도 치고싶어요. 진짜 제가 자살을 하건 사고가 나서 죽건 그 전에 해보고싶은 마지막 소원이기도 해요. - 노래방에서 듀엣곡 부르기 둘 다 서브컬쳐를 좋아해요. 음악취향도 심하게 비슷하고.. 마크로스F 라이온이나 알라딘 OST인 a whole new world나.. 좀 같이 부르고 싶어요. - 같이 눈꽃빙수 먹기 진짜 커플로 눈꽃빙수먹고 같이 있고싶어요. 옆자리에서 같이 손잡고 싶어요.. 진짜 요즘 너무 괴롭네요. 오늘도 수면유도제로 잠을 청해야할 거 같아요. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 0 이 게시판에 등록된 민트밀크라떼님의 최근 게시물 |
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Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
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2750 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
2750 class='vcm '>
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Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
2750'> 와라버님
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
15/06/04 00:40
2750>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
글쓴분이 남자분이신지 여자분이신지
잘 모르겠지만.. 남자분이시라면
자신감을 가지십쇼.
운동도 하고 외모도 가꾸고 무언가 이루고하다보면
풍기는 분위기 자체가 달라집니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
잘 모르겠지만.. 남자분이시라면
자신감을 가지십쇼.
운동도 하고 외모도 가꾸고 무언가 이루고하다보면
풍기는 분위기 자체가 달라집니다.
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
2750>
2750>
