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홍차넷
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티타임
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- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
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전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
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| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 16/01/07 10:44:23 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name |  쉬군 |
| Subject | \"내가 너에대해서 아는게 뭐가있냐?\" |
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결혼하고 애낳고 사느라 8년만에 만난 20년지기 여자사람친구가 소주 한병째잔을 마시고 나한테 던진 말이다. "너랑 나랑 알고지낸지 20년이다. 근데 나는 너에 대해 아는게 없는거 같단 말이지. 아니아니. 아는건 있겠지. 쉬군이 OO고등학교를 나왔고 가족은 몇명이고 결혼은 언제했고... 근데 그거말고 니가 나한테 이야기 해준게 있냐?" 딱히 항변할 말이 없었다. 다른사람에게 크게 관심을 가지지않았고, 다른사람이 먼저 물어오지 않는이상 내 이야기를 하지 않았던게 사실이니까. "20년전부터 항상 그런식이였지. 너는 천가지 만가지 상황에 대비해놓고 맞춰줄 준비가 되어있으니 다른사람이 열가지 스무가지를 제시해도 뭐든 맞출 수 있어. 근데 너는 니가 먼저 뭘 하자는 이야기를 하지않아. 항상 맞춰주고 항상 오냐오냐 해주지. 그러니까 니가 무슨 음식을 좋아하는지, 노래방이 좋은지 호프집이 좋은지 전혀 알수가 없단 말이지." 여전한 침묵. 너무 맞는말만 해대서 답변할 말을 찾느라 머리가 복잡하다. "지금도 어떤 대답을 하는게 좋을까 고민하는게 보인단말이지. 상대방이 들었을때 가장 기분좋을거 같으면서도 중립을 지키는, 그리고 두루뭉실하게 넘어가는. 대체 진짜 쉬군은 어떤 사람이냐? 내가 알고있는 쉬군말고 저~~깊숙이 숨겨놓은 쉬군말이야." 라고 말하며 그놈은 소주 2병째 마지막잔을 입에 털어넣었다. 그리고 결국 아무 대답도 하지 못했다. 지금까지 이렇게 사는게 맞는건줄 알았고, 그리고 나는 원래 이런 사람이라고 생각하고 살았다. 그런데 이놈이 보기엔 그게 아니였나보다. 내기준에는 굉장히 친하고 가까운 사이라고 생각하는데.. 지딴에는 20년지기 정말 가까운 친구라고 생각했는데 자기나 다른 사람이나 별 차이가 없는 주변사람이라고 느꼈나보다. 문득 얼마전에 이야기를 나눴던 한 동생의 말이 생각난다. "형이 싫다거나 한건 아닌데 대하기가 힘들어요. 약간 거리감이 느껴지기도 하고...." 주변사람들과 형성해놓은 관계들이 무너지는게 싫다. 그래서 최대한 중립을 지키고 상처를 주지 않을, 가장 좋은 말을 해주며 관계를 유지해나간다. 내가 생각했을때 남이 싫어할만하다고 생각하는 일은 하지 않는다. 내 주변사람에게 위해를 끼치는 일이 아니라 나 하나만 조금 불편할 정도의 일이면 이해하고 넘어간다. 너무 솔직한 모습은 거의 보여주지 않는다. 이렇게 사는게 옳은거라 생각했던 내 생활에 의문이 생겼다. 이런게 남이 봤을때 서운할수도 있는거구나. 답답하고 거리감이 느껴질수도 있는거구나..라는 생각에 혼란이 생겼다. 이미 30년 이상 이렇게 살아온 인생에 변화가 생긴다면 거짓말일거다. 지금와서 내 속이야기를 다 꺼낼수도 없을거고, 다른사람이 싫어할만큼 내 마음대로 행동하지도 않겠지. 아..뭔가 잡설이 길어졌다. 내가 이놈 소주 두병째 시킬때 말렸어야 하는거였는데 그걸 못해서 이런 글까지 쓰게 됐네.. 여러분 소주가 이렇게 해롭네요. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 0 이 게시판에 등록된 쉬군님의 최근 게시물
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27567 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
27567 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
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Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
27567'> Beer Inside
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
16/01/07 10:48
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Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
허물 벋고 사는 부부도 속을 모르는 걸요.
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
27567>
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