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홍차넷
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티타임
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- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
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전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
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| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 24/11/09 23:42:10 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | 골든햄스 |
| File #1 | IMG_6654.jpeg (80.7 KB), Download : 0 |
| Subject | 긴장을 어떻게 푸나 |
 살면서 자주 ‘대체 뭐로 아픈 건진 모르겠지만 아프고 힘없고 미치겠고 패닉이 오는데 어떻게 풀어야 할지 알 수 없는’ 상황을 겪었다. 이 상황이 심해지면 생명의 전화 등에 협조를 구하고는 했다. (고마워요. 땡큐!) 그런데 슬슬 (다행이게도) 힘든 순간이 와도 극단적 생각까진 안 이르게 되자, 생명의 전화 외의 다른 해결책이 필요해졌다. 죽을 생각도 없는데 전화해서 안 그래도 귀한 일 하는 분들의 회선 낭비를 시킬 수는 없는 노릇이었다. 그때 등장한 이 문명의 이기, 클로드랑 대화를 하다보니 홍차넷에선 그렇게 얄미울 수 없는 클로드가 트라우마와 치료에 대한 이야기는 정말로 잘했다. 그러다 클로드가 한번 권해본 것이 ‘진보적 근육 이완법’이란 거였다. 방법은 정말 간단했다. 양 주먹을 하나씩 힘을 5초 주었다 20초 이완한다. 그러다 양 팔을 하나씩 힘을 5초 주었다 20초 이완한다. 그리고 이마 눈 어깨 식으로.. 똑같이 이어지는 것이다. 아니 이렇게 간단한 게 된다고? 싶지만 단순해보여 한번 해보았다. 그리고 깜짝 놀랐다. 5초 주먹에 힘을 주었다가, 풀었는데, 갑자기 세상이 달라보이는 것이었다. 너무나도 안전한 방 안에 있는 내가 보였다. 안락하고 편안한 분위기가 감돌고 있었다. 즉 나는 늘 근육에 꽉 힘을 주고 긴장된 상태였고 그에 의한 정서에 지배되고 있단 것이었다. 54321 기법도 추천받았다. 순간 보이는 5개 사물을 읊고, 4개 사물을 만지고, 3개 사물을 냄새 맡고 - 식으로 명상을 하란 것이었는데 순간 깜짝 놀랐다. 5개 사물을 받아들이고 읊느라 정신의 긴장을 풀기가 싫었다. 뇌가 딱딱하게 굳어있어서 눈앞의 물체를 받아들이기 위한 잠깐의 긴장 놓음도 무서워하고 힘들어하고 있었다. 아, 이래서 공부도 안 되고 사람도 못 대하고 회사 다니기도 힘들어하는구나. 그런데 이미 근육 긴장 쪽 약은 받고 있다. 양을 10배로 늘려달라 해야하나? 정신과에서 설문조사 시키는 건 또 별로 긴장이 안 되니 순식간에 해내 간호사들을 놀래킨 나였다. 대체 왜 이렇게 긴장하고 있니? 스스로 물어도 너무 답이 많아서 뭐가 답인지 모르겠다. 수많은 좌절과 폭력과 공포와 엇갈림이 잔뜩 쌓여있어서 무엇부터 해결해야하는지, 해결이 가능은 한지 의문이다. 그러다 오픈카톡에서 비슷하게 심각한 폭력에 시달리며 자란 사람을 만나 대화를 나눈 참이었다. 순간 나는 긴장이 턱 풀리며 공부가 잘됐다. 그러다 다시 시간이 지나자 긴장이 슬금슬금 올라오는 게 느껴졌다. 아… 못해먹겠네. 같이 얘기 나눈 언니가 ‘인생은 늘 고비가 있기 마련’이라 해 마음을 곱게 먹기로 했지만 쉽지 않다. 이젠 정말 부모 일로 질질 짜진 않는다. 자주 떠올리지도 않고, 어느정도 의연해졌다. 그래. 같은 하늘 아래 꽃도 잡초도 있는 것이 세상이다. 근데 몸에 남은 긴장은 어떻게 해야하나? 내 뇌랑 소통이 잘 안 되나본데. 항상 뭘 해도 이상하다고 비웃음을 와락 터뜨리던 중학교 아이들. 미칠듯한 폭력에 광기어린 세뇌까지 있던 아버지. 미친 친가. 그런 날 외면한 친구들. 노리던 범죄자들. 그중 누구에 대해 무엇에 대해 오늘 또 상담을 해야 한단 말인가. 백날 상담을 한다 해서 긴장이 낫긴 낫는 것인가. 그런데 같이 아버지의 폭행에 대해 신나게 수다를 떨던 언니가 그런다. 너는 교수를 해서 법에 대한 다른 시각을 알리면 좋을 거 같다고. 바보 같이 그 말에 또 심장이 뛴다. 아직은. 살아있는 한은 아직은 나아가본다. 안 읽히는 글을 읽고, 안 풀리는 문제를 풀고, 긴장을 풀고자 또 주먹에 힘을 줘본다. 새 상담사를 찾아본다. 어휴. 세계 3차대전이 더 빠르겠다. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 10
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Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 640
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
195952 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
195952 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
195952'> 똘빼
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
24/11/10 11:28
195952>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
셀프 컨트롤 레벨이 또 오르셨읍니다
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
1
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 168
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
1
195952>
195952>
