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홍차넷
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티타임
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- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
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전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
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| Date |
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| Name | 삼공파일 |
| Subject | 글을 쓴다는 것 |
|
그렇다고 해서 딱히 바쁜 건 아니지만, 일정이 한가해져서 친한 후배랑 맥주 한 잔하고 써봅니다. 의대생 치고는 책 좋아하는 후배라 이런 저런 이야기하다가 제가 쓴 글을 보여줬습니다. 여기에도 올린 적 있는 실습 감상문이었습니다. 인쇄까지 해서 읽으라고 보여줬으니 진상을 부린터라 지금도 부끄러운데 써놓고 읽어주는 사람이 없는 것도 참 외로운 일입니다. 언제부터였는지 잘 모르겠습니다. 요즘 소설이나 글을 쓴다는 것 자체에 대한 글이 유행입니다. 김연수가 쓴 것도 있고 젊은 작가들이나 늙은 작가들이나 자기가 어떻게 쓰고 어떻게 읽는지 주저리 주저리 써놓은 이야기들이죠. 조지 오웰이 수필집 제목도 나는 왜 쓰는가였을 겁니다. 하나 같은 공통점이라면 쓴다는 것은 외로움입니다. 글 자체가 무언가를 하기는 정말 어렵습니다. 세상을 바꾼 글이 있을까요? 있었습니다. 셰익스피어의 희비극들이 세상을 바꿨을 것이고 그 이후에는 칸트의 비평들이 세상을 바꾸고 다윈의 종의 기원 이래로는 과학자들이 쓴 글이 세상을 바꿉니다. 그런 글도 있지만, 그런 글도 외로움입니다. 김연수 같은 한국의 유망한 작가도 아니고 조지 오웰 같은 대문호도 아니고 세계를 바꿀 위대한 글을 쓸 사람도 아닙니다. 방구석에서 그냥 어쩔 줄도 모르고 배운 적도 없는 활자를 써보는데 그 글도 외로움이고 고독입니다. 친구들이랑 놀러 나가고 같이 운동하는 것보다 혼자 생각하는 게 좋았습니다. 그러다 보니 글을 썼는데 아마 글을 쓰다 보니 혼자 있는 게 좋았을 수도 있습니다. 아니면 어쩌다 보니 혼자 있어서 혼자 있는 걸 좋아했던 걸 수도 있습니다. 박경리가 그런 말을 했던 기억이 납니다. "내가 글을 쓰겠다고 생각한 적이 없다. 언제나 글이 나에게 찾아왔다" 그런 생각을 많이 했습니다. 슈퍼스타K 같다고. 슈퍼스타K에서 우승을 하려면 노래도 잘해야 하고 소재도 맞아야 하고 스타성도 있어야 합니다. 노력보다도 타고난 재능이 훨씬 더 중요하죠. 아마 모르긴 몰라도 저에게도 타고난 재능이 있을 겁니다. 글을 쓰고 싶다, 글을 써야겠다라는 욕구와 번뇌가 중첩될 때 담배를 물고 머리에 니코틴을 때려부으면서 시키지도 않았는데 만사 제껴 놓고 뭔가 씁니다. 이런 뭔가 귀찮은 게 그게 없는 사람들이 편한대로 갖다 붙인 재능이란 것이겠죠. 노래방에서 친구들이랑 노래 부르면 노래 잘 부르는 친구가 있듯이 그렇게 글 잘 쓰는 친구일 겁니다, 저는. 운좋게 슈퍼스타K에서 우승해서 노래를 부를 수 있다면 행복할까요? 음치라서 전혀 모르겠습니다. 하지만, 글은 외로움인 걸요. 난 내 안의 이것과 평생을 마주하면서 도전할 용기는 없습니다. 그렇게 해서 내가 슈퍼스타K 우승자가 된다고 해도 난 이승철이나 이승환이 되지는 못할 겁니다. 스티비 원더 같은 가수가 되고 싶다고 포부를 밝히면 비웃음이나 사겠죠. 쓴다는 것은 쓴다는 것 자체의 무의미와 쓴다는 것을 불러 일으키는 내 안의 공허함이 무슨 박자인지 모르겠는데 맞춰서 춤을 추는 미친 짓입니다. 미친 짓이라고 해도 읽히고 박수 받을 수도 있고 그것이 영구히 인간 세상을 바꿔 놓을 수도 있습니다. 무의미와 공허함은 그렇게 글쓰기가 존재로서 너무나도 충만함을 알기에 유지되는 존재 앞의 무이고, 모두 앞의 외로움입니다. "글 쓰는 의사가 될까...?" 박경철 같은 사람을 보면 안동에도 병원 개원할 데가 없구나, 깨달음이 옵니다. 아하, 흐느적 흐느적 질질 끌면서 여기까지 왔네요. 그래도 세상을 기만하느니 쓰지 않을 거라는 양심과 용기는 있습니다. 계속 흘러가겠지요. 결국 글을 쓴다는 것은 내 자신을 기만하지 않겠다는 내 안의 외로움과의 만남인 것 같습니다. 걔는 계속 그 자리에 있으니까 생각날 때마다 또 만나야죠, 별 수 없죠. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 0 이 게시판에 등록된 삼공파일님의 최근 게시물 |
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Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
18386 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
18386 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
18386'> 눈부심
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
15/10/16 02:09
18386>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
뤼얼뤼?
(\'_\')
붜헉T.T
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
(\'_\')
붜헉T.T
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
18386>
18386>
