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홍차넷
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티타임
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- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
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전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
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| Date |
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 53 22/02/13 12:19:38 Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 56 |
| Name | 덜커덩 |
| Subject | 워들에 빗대어 끄적여본 나의 어리석음에 대하여 |
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여기 조그만 물음표들이 모여 있습니다. Wordle이라는 이름으로 최근 여기저기서 유행합니다. 탐라를 녹색과 회색 검은색 상자로 치장합니다. 아시다시피, 이 물음표들은 잘게 잘게 조각나 하나씩 맞출 수 있습니다. 커다란 무언가를 만든다는 것은, 저에겐 바로 이런 느낌입니다. 작은 문제를 풀고 모아서 큰 문제를 풀려는 행위인 것이죠. 1T. ⬛⬛⬛🟩⬛ 자신이 알고 있던 부분적인 지식을 동원해서, 어렵다고 생각한 한 조각을 만들어 봅니다. 아직 동작하는 무언가와는 거리가 멀지만 남은 조각도 완성할 수 있을 거라는 자신감이 생깁니다. 용기를 내어 전체 그림을 머릿속에 그려보고, 그 머릿속 그림에서 들어가야 할 모양새에 맞는 것들을 만들어봅니다. 2T. 🟩🟩⬛⬛⬛ 비록 앞에 먼저 만들어 본 것과는 상관없지만 머릿속 그림대로 시작을 할 수 있게 만들었습니다. 왠지 이렇게 가 보면 끝에 도착할 것이라 생각하게 되지요. 앞에 먼저 만든 것들도 왠지 맞춰볼 수 있을거라는 확신이 생깁니다. 이제 3T. 🟩🟩⬛🟩⬛ 어떻게 같이 끼워 넣으니 그럴싸 하게 되었습니다. 어설퍼보여도 생각한 그림과 크게 다르지 않는 이 모습은 자기 확신을 불러 일으킵니다. 이제 자잘한 부분만 손보면 완전히 동작할 수 있을 것 처럼 느껴집니다. 아귀가 딱딱 맞아떨어지는 그런 것이요. 저 두공간에 들어갈 수 있는 것들은 손에 꼽을 수 있을 정도 밖에 없습니다. 이제 하나씩 가장 가능성 있어 보이는 것들을 끼워맞춰 보려고 노력하게 되지요. 정답과 실패의 갈림길, 4T. 🟩🟩⬛🟩⬛ 아. 원하는 결과가 나오지 않았습니다. 저 검은 자리에 필요한 것들을 찾을 수 있는 다양한 방법들이 있지만, 선뜻 용기가 나지 않습니다. 남은 시간이 많지 않을 수록, 저 검은 자리에 들어갈 수 있을만한 완전한 무언가 보다, 저 초록 자리를 해치지 않을 것들을 우선적으로 시도합니다. 다시 말하자면, 대충 이 지점부터는 <정합성>을 따지는 것이 본질적인, 부분적 문제를 해결하는 것 보다 우선하게 됩니다. 그리고 그것을 저는 합리적인 선택이라고 생각할 것입니다. 어느정도는 맞습니다. 우리 머릿속에 있는 지식들이 정답을 만들 수 있을 만큼 충분하다는 명제를 만족할 때 말이죠. 그리고 이 명제는 자신이 그려냈던 그림과 합쳐져서 거대한 논리가 되었습니다. 이 유리알 같은 명제는 완전 무결해 보입니다. 이름 조차 정합整合이라니, 이 가지런함이 깨지기 전까지는 그 자체의 고결함에 눈이 멀어버리게 됩니다. 어느덧 5T. 🟩🟩⬛🟩⬛ "같은 일을 반복하면서 다른 결과가 나오기를 기대하는 것은 미친 짓이다." - 알버트 아인슈타인 조금만 더 하면 완성할 수 있을 것 같은 그 모습은 아직 그대로입니다. 갑자기 닥쳐오는 불안감은 명제를 깨트리기는 커녕 더욱 공고화합니다. 조금만 더 하면 될 것 같은데, 왜 안되는거지? 뭘 잘못하고 있는거지? 여기서는 다양한 감정과 생각에 마주하게 됩니다. 당혹감. 불안감. 자기 불신. 자책감. 시스템에 대한 분노. 문제의 해결은 커녕 문제가 나를 잡아먹으려고 하기 일보직전입니다. 머릿속 지식의 불완전함을 인정하기에는 너무 늦어버린 탓일까요? [글자를 예쁘게 쓰지 않아서 그러는건가?] 같은 생각이 머리를 지배합니다. 이 문제에서 벗어나면 저 생각이 얼마나 바보같은 생각이었는지 뒤늦게 깨닫게 될테지만, 이 태풍의 눈 안에서는 저것이 맑은 하늘이니 그대로 믿고 싶을 뿐입니다. 우리는 가끔 문제가 풀리지 않을 때는 문제의 바깥에서 보라는 말을 쉬이합니다. 하지만 이 간단한 말에 맞게 바깥에서 보려면 고요한 태풍의 눈을 감싸고 있는 거친 바람을 뚫고 나가야만 합니다. 이제까지 들인 노력을 가차없이 매몰시킬 용기가 필요할 수도 있고, 객관적으로 보려고 노력해야 할지도 모릅니다. 그러다보면 가끔 주변 사람들로부터 싫은 소리를 들을 수도 있겠지요. 무책임하다느니, 유체이탈이 심하시네 같은 비아냥을 듣기도 할 것입니다. 그리고, 이것이 항상 정답이지도 않으며, 나쁜 선택지의 하나가 되는날도 있을 것입니다. 가끔 우직하게 시도해보면서 성공을 그려내는 사람도 존재하고, 마지막 끗발을 놓지 못하던 미련함이 냉정한 승부사로 포장되는 사후강평을 수도 없이 많이 본 만큼이요. 마지막 6T. ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 어느새 마지막 기회에 도달했네요. 과연 나는 다음 시도에서 고대하던 정답을 얻을 수 있었을까요? 궁금하실 수 있겠지만 저는 그 질문에 대한 대답 대신 다른 이야기를 하고 싶습니다. 힘들었던 오늘의 문제가 지나면, 내일의 문제가 다시 올겁니다. 어느날은 제 시간에 도달하지 못하기도 할 것이고, 어느날에는 가볍게 풀어내고 만족하며 하루를 보내기도 할 것입니다. 가까이서 보면 고난의 연속이지만, 조금만 멀리 지나보면 그것은 하나의 풍경에 불과할 수도 있으며, 어느날 추억을 되새김질 할 때는 하나하나가 삶의 이력마다 세워진 이정표처럼 보이는 날도 올 것입니다. 비록 오늘 실패해도 이 실패가 비록 나의 오점이 될 수는 있어도, 내 삶을 부정하지는 못할 것입니다. 가끔 실패해도 괜찮습니다. 하지만 의심하지 못하는 자기 확신과 매력적으로 보이는 당장의 가지런함에 집착해 너무 늦어버리는 지점까지 기회를 날리고 싶지 않은 것이 지금의 제 마음입니다. 이 글은 그저, 저의 어리석음을 머리속에 남기고 싶은 마음에 쓴 일종의 반성문입니다. 어리석음을 제때 깨닫지 못해도 인정하고, 자책하며 자신에게 상처를 내는 대신 또 한발 나아가고 싶은 마음에 쓰는 일기입니다. 그렇기에, 저는 오늘의 정답 대신 마음 속의 이상향을 그리면서 이 글을 줄이고자 합니다. 못난 글 끝까지 읽어주셔서 고맙습니다. 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 14
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Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 620
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 640
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
168931 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
168931 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
168931'> 늘쩡
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
22/02/13 13:14
168931>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
저는 '이런 운빨X망겜!' 이라는 생각만 했었는데...
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
168931>
168931>
