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홍차넷
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티타임
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- 다양한 주제에 대해 자유롭게 글을 작성하는 게시판입니다.
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전체기타일상/생각꿀팁/강좌방송/연예도서/문학영화의료/건강문화/예술경제생활체육과학/기술철학/종교정치요리/음식역사여행육아/가정IT/컴퓨터음악창작게임스포츠사회오프모임
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| Date |
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| Name | 염깨비 |
| Subject | 엄마는 내 찢어진 츄리닝을 보고 우셨다 |
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1. 그때는 재수 허락을 해 주시는 것 만으로도 감사했다. 3수째에 접어드는 나는 단지 노래가 하고 싶었다. 집안의 도움도 필요없이 레슨비는 알바로, 노래는 내 재능으로 커버하면 될거라 생각했다. 아버지는 알아서 돈벌어서 공부한다고 하니 그러려니 하셨고, 어머니는 이제 노래 그만하고 그냥 다른 애들처럼 돈벌 수 있는 공부하는건 어떠냐고 설득하셨다. 하지만 자세를 고쳐잡고 무릎을 꿇는 나에게 두 분이 해줄 수 있는 말은 열심히 해 봐라 였다. 2. 4수를 실패하고 나는 빠르게 군대 문제를 해치워야 했다. 그 해 2월 말 실기 시험이 모두 떨어진 것을 확인하고 부랴부랴 군대를 지원했다. 계속되는 실패는 오히려 나를 이성적으로 만들어주었고, 군대 월급이라도 모아 레슨비에 써야겠다고 다짐했다. 훈련소 입대날 무직자가 되신 아버지만이 나를 따라와 주셨다. 훈련소로 들어가려는데 아버지가 호두과자 선물세트를 주시면서 훈련소에서 먹으란다. 당연히 훈련소에 가져갈 수 없는 물품이지만, 그런걸 잘 모르실 아버지는 나에게 뭐라도 좀 챙겨주고 싶으셨나보다. 3. 훈련소를 마치고 100일 휴가를 나왔다. 군대간 사이 우리집은 이사를 갔고, 지하철에서 낯선 아저씨에게 휴대폰을 빌려 어머니꼐 전화를 걸어 찾아갔다. 어머니는 나를 반갑게 맞아주셨고, 집에는 부침개, 잡채, 닭요리를 해 주시며 나를 맞아주셨다. 다음날 우리가족은 초등학교때 이후로 한번도 가본 적 없는 피자 집으로 외식을 나섰다. 배불리 먹은 나는 저녁에 복귀를 해야 하는데 어머니가 옷가게로 나를 데려가셨다. 복귀하는 마당에 왠 옷타령이라며 뭐라 했지만 엄마는 옷 하나 꼭 사줘야 한다고 성화셨다. 나는 그나마 오래입을 수 있는 검은색 티셔츠를 골랐고 감사하다고 했다. 그렇게 집으로 돌아와 자대로 복귀하기 위해 짐을 싸고 있을 때 어머니가 나에게 이야기 하셨다. '너 훈련소에서 입고있던 옷이랑 물품 집으로 택배 보냈지? 그때 니 검은색 츄리닝 바지를 보니까 사타구니랑 이곳저곳 다 낡아 빠져서 찢어져 있더라.. 너는 옷이 그렇게 상했으면 이야기를 하지 어떻게 그렇게 악착같이 입고 그걸 군대에 까지 갈 생각을 했니? 엄마가 그거보고 미안하고 안타까워서 종일 울었어.. 정말..' 그 이야기를 듣고 나는 뜨끔했다. 맨날 돈 애껴가며 사는 부모한테 부담 안주려고 씩씩한척 알바하면서 재수생활을 했었는데. 다른 사람은 몰라도 부모님한테만은 들키고 싶지 않았던 나의 가난한 상태. 초라한 모습. 어떻게든 돈을 아껴가며 공부하고싶던 내 궁상맞은 모습을 보여드리니 죄송스럽기도 하고, 참 오만가지 생각이 들었지만 '아 그랬어요? 아 진작 버렸어야되는데 몰랐어요 그냥 편해서 입었지뭐.. 뭘 그런걸로 울어요. 저 복귀할게요' 라며 아무일 아닌척 넘어갔다. 그리고 그 바지에 대한 에피소드는 내 기억속에서 지우기로 했다. 4. 오늘 출근하는 아침은 굉장히 맑았는데 저녁에 비가 온다는 소식을 들었다. 회사 회의실에서 회식을 하고 퇴근을 하려고 나왔다. 원래 낡고 작은 우산이 내 서랍에 있었는데, 얼마전 탕비실 쓰레기통 근처에 멀쩡한 우산 두개가 있었다. 이렇게 멀쩡한걸 왜 버리지 싶어서 챙겨놓았고 그 중 검은색 우산은 2주 전쯤 잘 사용하다 집에 모셔두었다. 오늘은 그 중 하얀색 우산을 쓰고 가야겠다고 생각이들어 챙겼다. 그리고 회사 밖을 나와 우산을 펴는 순간.. 우산 살 2개가 부러져 있었다. '아.. 이래서 버렸던거구나..' 깨닫는 순간 다른 우산을 챙기려 사무실로 가는건 귀찮아 우산살이 펴지지 않는 부분을 머리로 받쳐서 걸었다. 지하철을 타고 이동해서 우리집 역으로 왔다. 비가 그치길 바랬지만, 계속해서 오는 비에 나는 망가진 우산을 머리로 받치며 걸었다. 한 15분쯤 걸었을까? 문득 내 기억에서 지웠던 찢어진 츄리닝 바지가 생각났다. 토끼같은 사랑스러운 아내와 미래의 2세를 위해 대출금을 갚으며 난 오늘도 나의 힘듬을 외면하며 살아가고 있다. 코로나를 핑계로 전화로만 안부를 나누는 부모님께 항상 잘 지낸다고 했다. 하지만 오늘 나는 다 찢어진 우산의 일부분을 머리로 밀어내며 겨우겨우 비를 피하며 걸어가고 있다. 다 망가진 우산을 쓰고 걸어가는 내 모습을 엄마가 본다면 또 가슴이 찢어진다 우시진 않을까 싶어 괜시리 눈시울이 붉어진다. Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 133 Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 146 Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view.php on line 161 29
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Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 605
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
Warning: Use of undefined constant is_admin - assumed 'is_admin' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 609
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 614
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 616
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/lib.php on line 618
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 612
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 620
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 628
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 640
Warning: Use of undefined constant name - assumed 'name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 644
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/view.php on line 646
Warning: Use of undefined constant HTTP_HOST - assumed 'HTTP_HOST' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/pb/cmt_replace.php on line 3
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 6
Warning: Use of undefined constant file_name - assumed 'file_name' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 28
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 65
157713 class="iamcmt" style="display:none;"> Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 66
157713 class='vcm '>
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 70
Warning: Use of undefined constant x - assumed 'x' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 71
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 76
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 117
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 118
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 119
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 120
Warning: Use of undefined constant ismember - assumed 'ismember' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 121
157713'> copin
Warning: Use of undefined constant mod_date - assumed 'mod_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 133
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 140
Warning: Use of undefined constant reg_date - assumed 'reg_date' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 142
21/06/04 08:02
157713>삭제 주소복사
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 150
저도 우산같은거 살 뿌러지면 테이프로 붙여서 쓰고 그랬는데
요즘엔 그냥 버려요
버리고 새로 사는게 편하더라구요
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
요즘엔 그냥 버려요
버리고 새로 사는게 편하더라구요
Warning: Use of undefined constant level - assumed 'level' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 158
Warning: Use of undefined constant password - assumed 'password' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 166
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 171
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 172
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant no - assumed 'no' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
Warning: Use of undefined constant vote - assumed 'vote' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/redtea/html/a_skin/bbsd/view_comment.php on line 173
157713>
157713>
